Merry Christmas, everyone. It's that time of year again, the best time of the year, where the signs of the holiday are all around us. Look outside, and there's snow. Look in your living room, and there's a tree adorned with lights, neatly wrapped presents sitting underneath the shimmering ornaments. Look at all the red and green and white, the colors of the season.
Then this photo comes out and throws a stick in our spokes. Wait, is that blue? Black? No smiles? Over-the-top, intentionally indifferent poses, like on an album cover? 3D?
Yes, all of the above. Leave it to the Kardashian's to take a simple Christmas Card photo and turn it into an attention-grabbing spectacle. Seriously, this is their Christmas card, not an attempt to recreate a Dolce and Gabbana ad.
It dropped today, with a note from everyone's favorite realty TV star on Celebuzz:
I love our family Christmas cards shoots and I think this one looks amazing!
That's one way of putting it. Regardless, like many families, the Christmas card is a tradition. So join us on a journey back through the years as we take a look at the Kardashian's Christmas cards.
Yup, 3D! That same lovely, circa-1980s fad that's made the average movie theater ticket cost $500,000 can now be applied to celebs' Christmas cards!
Joy to the world.
Helping to make Kim's features pop even more, the 3D card was shot by renowned photographer Nick Saglimbeni, though it's not surprisingly drawing jeers from other professionals.
No, this is a "picture." Really. This is what one member of the clan (and now the only NBA WAG in the family) had this to saw about it:
...I'd have to say though that our card this year might be my favorite. It turned out beautifully -- just SO glam!
Those are the thoughts of Khloe Kardashian, who isn't at all freaked out that the Photoshopping on this picture makes it look like a horror movie poster. The term "glam" is definitely debatable here.
Huh? Ryan Seacrest? Okay, I guess he is the executive producer of all those lovely Kardashian shows that have annexed the E! network. Still, you've have to find it just a tad ironic that the host of American Idol is in a Kardashian Christmas card, yet Kris Humphries never was.
On style and substance, you have to give them credit for at least seeming more natural here. Are we actually seeing smiles?! (We also see Lamar Odom looking like he was Photoshopped into the background, but that's not on him.)
Overall, it's OK...But it looks a lot more like prom night than Christmas.
When introducing the 2008 version, Khloe helped provide some insight into why the Kardasian klan eschews all the typical Christmas card staples.
It’s no secret that my family has always been into photo shoots, but my mom was always really big on the family holiday cards. Each year we would get everyone together and my mom always thought of the most ridiculous themes…
Not really sure what they were going for here, but it's better than blue and black, even if it does give off a creepy Valentine's Day vibe. Also, the photos aren't just as good without Lamar...kind of like the Los Angeles Lakers.
Credit where credit's due time: This. Is. Awesome. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Santa—boom. And it's Raphael, the coolest one of all.
This is what Christmas cards should be about. Everyone's happy. Everyone looks genuinely joyed to be together. No Photoshop. No 3D. No designer fashion. No reality show cameras. This is a blast from the past, yet could actually serve as reminder to the present.
Sometimes keeping it simple is the best option of all.