My fellow compatriots, our suffering for this season has come to an end today, and we suffered through a season of almost total despair, though shimmers of hope did shine through. We did get rid of Scott Linehan, and this team did beat the Cowboys. So we did have some bright spots in which to find some joy.
You have to admit this team does show some consistency by the way they bookended this season. This loss to the Falcons has that subtle ring of what more could you expect form this team, a win? They ended this season just like they began it—how fitting.
If you really wanted to see this team win, I would say that the alcoholic spirits that you had over the holidays blinded your better judgment. Besides, a win might just screw our chances in the draft. This loss gives us a chance at the higher pick in the draft. I would have settled for first, but that belongs to the Lions, and I don't want to steal their joy.
However, I must be frank about some of the previous first round picks. They just didn't workout? Remember that guy Phillips from Nebraska, the sexual assailant? He became a disciplinary problem and didn't last long for this team. All of this has been brought to you by Shaw and Zygmunt, men of football knowledge.
Their carnival act began 28 years ago right after Carroll Rosenbloom's death and continued for those years. For those who may have started rooting for the Rams, the letdowns did not start in St. Louis, but in LA. Yes, a charade in two different venues. Like sidewalk hustlers who had been shut down on one corner, they swindle others on another corner.
My favorite slight of hand that they used happened in LA back in the nineties and will write about often. They sold us on the line that well known running backs could replace one. What they did not say is these two well known running backs had been wash. Their names for those who can remember, Marcus Dubree and Curtis Warner. Neither lasted.
So, this New Year's as you raise your glasses and tell the tales of season of long ago, remember that the huskers have been stopped. One I wish would have the honor to resign even his consultant position, but thieves have no honor. This New Year's, I will bring change for what had been robbed from us fans.
Happy New Year, and to a better season!