I'm stuck between The Rock and hard place on this one. I know that isn't the expression, I just think it would be far more confusing to be stuck between The Rock and a hard place than just a plain old rock.
"What is he doing here?" "What's wrong with his eyebrow?" And, "Where do his parents come from?" are all very valid questions.
I'm deflecting because, despite being told to publish a slideshow on "reasons Matt Kemp's big contract will hurt his play," I can't bring myself to sell number 27 up the river. Alas, the unspoken oath I took when I decided to become a pro bono sports writer must be upheld.
It is with great displeasure that I submit, hopefully for your disapproval, seven reasons Matt Kemp's huge contract will hurt his play.
Forgive me, fellow Dodger fans.