WWE Raw Recap: The 140 Things We Learned, Loved and Hated from the Show

The Doctor Chris Mueller@@BR_DoctorFeatured ColumnistDecember 6, 2011

Tonight's Raw saw its fair share of surprises. There was a new "It Begins" video shown, and we found out who would be in two new matches at TLC.

The night started out with Cena getting booed by the Tampa crowd. He was soon joined by Ziggler, Miz, Del Rio and John Laurinaitis.

We found out that there would be matches to determine the participants in the WWE title match at TLC. Miz started out the night by facing Orton in a match he won to secure his spot in the title match.

Del Rio faced an injured Daniel Bryan in another match for a spot in the TLC match for Punk's title. He won after a match that was way too short for these two guys.

Cena beat Zack Ryder to secure his spot in the title match, but gave it up so Ryder could get one more shot at the US title.

Ryder faced Henry in a no DQ match which saw Cena come out and help Ryder get the win and earn a a shot at Ziggler's title.

We also had a Divas tag match with Eve and Kelly defeating Beth and Natalya in a typically short Divas match. It was interesting that WWE played a Pinup Strong video but interrupted it with a 2012 video.

We also got the first commercial for the new WWE Network. If you watch it too closely, it may cause you to foam at the mouth.

A while back, I started writing these little lists after shows and they caught on, so I decided to keep going. They're equal parts humor, recap, revelations, observations, questions and criticisms.


So allow me to present to you the 140 things we learned, loved and hated from Tonight's Raw.

1. Hey Cole. Unless Gunsmoke comes back on the air, Raw will continue to be the longest running weekly blah blah blah
2. Wow, Tampa does not like Cena
3. Cena is thanking Piper, for being a friend, Hall of Famer and WWE Universe member
4. I think Cena forgot he got slapped by that guy
5. Cena gets a cheer when he says there is no show without the fans
6. We have earned the right to express our opinions about Cena
7. The crowd is more than willing to share their opinions with Cena tonight
8. Cena started a "Fruity Pebbles" chant
9. Oh wait, he remembers the slap
10. Some camera man just had a fix on an adult, female CM Punk fan who was, let's say jumping for joy
11. She gets a second appearance
12. Cena still wants his match against Rocky to be for the title
13. Alberto Del Rio is interrupting because he wants a shot
14. Now Cena has a problem with some one who lost the title wanting a second rematch, a little hypocritical but OK
15. Del Rio thinks that his loss was unfair, even though he was the one who exposed the turnbuckle
16. Every time I see Del Rio's scarf I think Cole is going to snatch it away and start dancing, then I get sick
17. Vickie is coming out with Dolph
18. I am only happy to see one of them
19. They are advocating for Ziggler to get a title shot, Finally!
20. Dolph just said something very cool to Del Rio and Cena. "Which one of you comes out every night and has the most entertaining match...on purpose?"
21. Holy Cow! Cena remembers Kerwin White's caddy. Awesome
22. Cena basically just called Ziggler a jerk off
23. Ziggler just equated Cena to Ronnie from Jersey Shore
24. HA! Chubby DeNiro
25. Cena is putting over Ryder for a title shot against Ziggler
26. Both Dolph and Cena just made fun of Cole for force feeding us with Twitter facts
27. Cole actually took exception to that
28. Ziggler has some balls to keep using the word Heel; Vince hates when those backstage words get used by wrestlers
29. They are recapping Miz taking out Truth and Morrison
30. Wow, they actually say Morrison was released after the beat down, that is rare
31. Miz wants a title shot too, surprise surprise
32. He says Ziggler only gets a reaction because of Vickie
33. Here comes Funkhauser
34. Saying his full name and title takes around five seconds
35. These three men will face SmackDown superstars, whoever wins their matches gets in the title match at TLC, so there could be anywhere between two and four men in the match
36. Miz is facing Orton to start
37. For being Miz's biggest fan, Cole is really happy to see Orton here tonight
38. Sweet, Oswald from The Drew Carey Show is on Psych this week, if only I liked Psych
39. Another blurred out Twitter graphic is shown, the URL shown is www.youtube.com/user/lookwithin2012
40. Miz will be on Conan this Thursday
41. Miz will have to rent mourners for his funeral according to King
42. Here comes Barrett, who saw that coming?
43. Miz wins by count out thanks to Barrett's distraction
44. Barrett attacks Orton from behind
45. Miz is now for sure in the title match at TLC
46. WWE's first WWE Network announcement is tonight
47. This first WWE Network commercial is actually kind of cool, but it is kind of giving me a seizure
48. Ryder is talking about some kind of show that sounds like Real World for wrestlers
49. Wow, a Papa Shango reference, I feel so old because I know who that is
50. Cena can do an OK Christopher Lloyd impression, but the Ryder wig ruins it
51. Funkman is making Ryder and Cena fight
52. If Ryder wins, he gets a US title match; if Cena wins, he gets a WWE title match
53. No one but The Funkster looks happy about this
54. Nash and Triple H are facing in a ladder match at TLC according to Otunga, but what would they be climbing to get?
55. Oh, it's a sledgehammer, which is somehow more dangerous than the ladders that will no doubt litter the ring
56. Nash is fighting someone tonight, but we don't know who at this point.
57. How does Jennifer Hudson stand Otunga slurping his coffee like that?
58. This might not be the same everywhere, but one of Hogan's Rent-A-Center commercials just played in the middle of Raw
59. Del Rio is facing an injured Daniel Bryan in his match to see if he gets a title shot, very fair, Mr. Laurinaitis
60. Del Rio wins and is in the title match at TLC
61. Hopefully these guys actually get a chance to have a decent match some day, this could have stolen the show had they not portrayed Bryan as injured
62. Cole had a little Freudian slip when he said Hard instead of of hit when talking about the Divas
63. A little Pinup Strong video plays during Beth and Natalya's entrance which is interrupted by a new 2012 video
64. They just showed the same video from the hidden URL earlier, they should let these little mysteries play out a little longer
65. No one talks about the 2012 video as if it never happened, CREEEEEEEEEEEPY
66. Kelly gets a win for her team
66. Lawler wants the Divas for Christmas, a little on the nose King, don't you think?
67. Ryder does not get the reaction I expected during his entrance, but he still got more cheers than Cena
68. Has Ryder always had that bar code on his shirt?
69. It is probably another 2012 mystery which leads to the YouTube video they played earlier
70. Ryder and Cena shake hands before the bell
71. A Ryder chant breaks out, awesome
72. Cena is trying to do a few wrestling moves to win over the crowd
73. It is not working
74. Cena and Ryder are actually having a good back and forth match, Cena loves Ryder and is willing to put him over a bit in the ring
75. I am telling you, Ryder is Bradley Cooper's long-lost cousin
76. I just realized how ridiculous it is for these men to have different title shots on the line in this match, Ryder is getting screwed
77. Cena is putting Ryder over big time in this match
78. Ryder looked like he really clocked Cena hard with that running boot, but it may have just looked really good
79. Cena turns a Rough Ryder into an AA for the win and the title shot at TLC
80. They show Ziggler looking happy he does not have to face Ryder
81. Ryder is pissed at Cena for beating him
82. Ryder might actually be a better actor than Bradley Cooper judging from that performance after the match
83. The Slammys are next week during a three-hour raw
84. Cena is backstage campaigning for Ryder to get his US title shot
85. Ryder is going to get one more opportunity tonight, if Cena gives up his WWE title shot at TLC
86. Cena did it without hesitation
87. He gives a little speech about giving Ryder the opportunity he deserves because WWE never did
88. Ryder still has to fight a match for the shot, probably against Brodus Clay
89. Cole is actually making sense when talking about Ryder's petition not being enough for a title shot, I hate agreeing with that guy
90. I really like this Kane promo, WWE is being more creative with their video packages than with their feature-length movies
91. Maybe the guys in the office who put these video packages together should start directing WWE movies
92. Ryder is facing Mark Henry for his US title shot
94. Did Michael Cole just call Daniel Bryan a powerhouse?
95. Upon further review of the tape, he did in fact say that
96. Cole will only put over Daniel Bryan when Bryan loses
97. Henry is still putting the protective tape on the outside of his boot, where it will do no good
98. Ryder hit another stiff-looking kick to Henry in the corner, he is either great at making that look real or he is knocking people senseless
99. Cena gives an AA to Henry and puts Ryder on top for the three-count
100. This was a no-DQ match so Ryder gets his shot thanks to Cena
101. This is not actually making Ryder look like a very strong wrestler; maybe this is creative getting a little revenge for Ryder getting himself over without their help
102. Ziggler is set to face Sheamus tonight
103. Ziggler tells Swagger he does not want him at ringside for the match, Swagger looks confused by this
104. Nash is coming out for his match, God I hope he is facing Clay and just gets wrecked
105. WWE is bragging about being more social than the show Gossip Girl, WTF!
106. Nash has the sledgehammer with him
107. They should just start saying Triple H is from Asgard and finish his transition into Thor
108. They mention that Nash uses Just for Men hair color, I think that might have been a bit of a rib on Nash
109. Santino is his opponent, this is just bad in so many ways
110. Nash won that match almost as fast as when he beat Bob Backlund for the title
111. Nash is circling Santino with the sledgehammer but just uses it to scare him
112. Sign of the night "Sheamus is as white as my sign"
113. Ziggler is really playing up this whole show off image
114. Ziggler has a great dropkick
115. I have not noticed as much Twitter talk tonight, but any is still too much
116. I just realized we haven't seen Punk yet tonight and the show is almost over
117. Ryder comes out to distract Ziggler
118. Sheamus gets the win after a huge kick which turned Ziggler inside out
119. Ryder did not need to come out for that


120. Ryder hits his finisher on Ziggler just to rub a little salt in the wound
121. We have Miz, Del Rio and Laurinaitis in the ring
122. He mentions Clay, but we still don't have him in the ring yet
123. CM Punk makes his first appearance of the night
124. Punk wants the term "pier six brawl" to be trending on Twitter
125. Punk name dropping Hogan and Andre makes him sooooo cool
126. Miz is bragging about taking out a suspended and released superstar
127. Punk tries to turn it around the way a seven-year-old would and say Miz took them out on a date to see the new Twilight movie
128. Miz reminds him how he took them out
129. Holy Crap! Laurinaitis just wished Morrison the best in his future endeavors right to the camera and Cole laughed his butt off
130. I wonder how he kept a straight face when he said that, it made Lawler groan and Cole laugh
131. Please let Clay come out and shut everyone up
132. Punk accused Miz of calling TMZ to come and film him at airports, wouldn't surprise me if he was right
133. Del Rio reminds us in 2001 he won MITB, the Royal Rumble and the WWE title
134. He really did have a good year didn't he?
135. Punk just said to Del Rio "If you say it's your destiny, I swear to Jebus that I am going to start drinking." That was the line of the night
136. Punk got the crowd to chant "Fight fight fight"
137. He attacks Del Rio and Miz
138. Punk did his corner knee move to Del Rio and Miz at once and Del Rio's head hit Miz in the face
139. Then he put Del Rio through a table to end the show
140. Pier six brawl is now an expression

Please feel free to leave your own add-ons to the list and thoughts below.


Please take a moment to check out my article 5 Reasons why I dare to Claim John Cena is Better than Hulk Hogan ever was