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Jeannette, PAIn a surprising twist of events, high school football phenom Terrelle Pryor finally made the announcement we've all been waiting for...

Terrelle Pryor To Sign With Ringling Bros.

by David Boduch [HUMOR]

22

16651 reads

Humor

February 15, 2008


 
Jeannette, PA

In a surprising twist of events, high school football phenom Terrelle Pryor finally made the announcement we've all been waiting for.  "I'm joining the circus", Pryor told reporters at a press conference held in the Jeannette Senior High School gymnasium. 

"I want to thank my family, especially my Dad, for making me take the time to think this through and not make any rash decisions.  I know that there are a lot of great schools out there that were doing everything in their power to have me enroll.  But ultimately my decision came down to a lifelong desire to be shot out of a cannon".

Just when we thought TP had narrowed down his choices to Michigan, Ohio State, Penn State and Oregon, a dark horse found it's way into the mix.  And it seems as though Pryor's raw football talent will go to waste - or will it?

In a statement made by Ringling Bros. Ringmaster Arlington Piccadilly, shortly following the Pryor press conference, the idea of having a Ringling Bros. football team of their own seems as though it may not be so far fetched.  "This is the acquisition we've been waiting for.  You wouldn't believe how hard it is to attract good talent to the circus.  You may not be aware, but there is a huge underground circus league, and we've been getting our butt's kicked by carni's far and wide for too long. I have to tell you, the Bearded Lady is ecstatic, as are the rest of us."

To no ones surprise, most shocked of all were the coaches who so actively recruited Pryor.  Michigan coach Rich Rodriguez had this to say about today's events, "I first heard of this news last evening when I had a phone conversation with Terrelle.  At the time I just assumed the kid was drunk.  But apparently he's just crazy". 

Whatever he is, Pryor's impact is sure to be felt by circus fans, and bearded ladies alike.  Look out Zucchini Bros.—this kid can run.

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22 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. sdknv soduvh about 1 year ago

    this may be the funniest thing i have ever read. ever.

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  2. damian daugherty about 1 year ago

    best news about pryor ive read everything else is boring opinions lol

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  3. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Hold the Press. I just heard that He has decided not to sign with Ringling Bros. His Dad really wants him to consider Cirque du Soleil and Circus Vargas. He has decided to wait until May 1st (The final day for signing with the Circus).

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  4. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    ORLY? I HEARD HE'S A LOCK TO THE RINGLING BROS.

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  5. Drew Silverthorn about 1 year ago

    Ha! Ha! That was great. Since I'm an Ohio St. fan, I just searched Terrelle Pryor on google news, and this came up. This was just what I needed. Go Pavlik!

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  6. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    drew i did the same exact thing as you (searching terrelle pryor on google news)

    but there is a difference between us. im heterosexual becuase i like michigan

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  7. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    this almost made me cry

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  8. Ben Harris about 1 year ago

    dude ur a genious. and anonymous and drew were right. this is on google news for searching terrelle pryor. ur awesome man. the best article ive read this month. keep up the good work.

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  9. David Williams about 1 year ago

    Funny, but in all seriousness are we really making jokes about an 18-year old kid who's having trouble deciding his future? Especially when significant money is indirectly on the line (the school he plays for, coaching influence, quality of strength and conditioning, etc. all have an indirect effect on his development into an NFL prospect). I'm just thinking about the strenuous college process many normal people go through. Imagine getting ripped on by the national media because you took a long time to choose between 4 colleges you got admitted into.

    I realize that this was all done as a joke (and a funny one) and one day TP will make more than many of us combined, but I find criticizing high schoolers tough. Unless you are that fool from Nevada who lied and said he was going to play football for Cal. He DEFINITELY deserves to get made fun of.

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  10. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Give the kid a break. If he was my son I would rather him take his time and make the decision. He isn't doing this for publicity. He just wants to make sure he picks the right school.

    http://www.twentiesbusinesscentral.blogspot.com

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  11. David Boduch about 1 year ago

    I totally hear what you are saying and I agree that he is 18 years old and this is a major decision in his life. I am just making light of how serious everyone is taking the situation and the fact that it's gotten a little out of control.

    I appreciate your comments, and they were certainly taken into consideration when I originally wrote the piece.

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  12. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    This is a sory atemt at makeing that a young kid from the iner city sound like a fool. I am an edukated les fortunat man that grown up on the south side of Chicago that was in the circus for 8 years. Just becuz I choze not to be a frat boy like you does not make me stupid.

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  13. Alex Kennedy about 1 year ago

    Awesome article man. I cracked up.

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  14. Dominic Hagloch about 1 year ago

    I rbememr wehn i was gtinetg rercutied for clolege football. I had big a dcsioien bteween the pewor sochols of Wartburg and Kalamazoo and I'm heree to tell you to lveae this kid alnoe! You have NO IEDA the knid of prseusre he's uednr. I my csae, I was devrin to eposxe msleyf to my prneats, Cacoh Dinglehoff, and Sister Mary Sally Jessie Massarotalio in my linivg room dnriug a dinenr praty, and was intsutialinoitzed for two months. It took me uitnl the tirhd week of the sosean berofe I mdae a desicon. By that tmie, the Wartburg Three Toed Sloths had aldartey gone to 0-3 and all hepos of wninnig the cferonence were deashd. DON"T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID, TERRELE!

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  15. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Last time I checked, 18 makes you an adult. He's fair game.

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  1. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    Funny stuff. Still, if TP wanted to play with a bunch of clowns he could've just signed with Michigan.

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  2. PENIS JONES about 1 year ago

    ZING! Anybody who thinks this is the funniest thing that they have ever read needs to read more.

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  3. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    OMG....I go to Jeannette Hgh School & I will be graduating with the "legendary" Terrelle Pryor. He's not a bad kid, sure, but we got MOST of our parking spaces unavailable to us drivers bc of his "crucial decision making"...& then he doesn't go & do it? BULL....I hope he decides soon, bc this is getting 2 b a lil ridiculous!! Don't get me wrong, I luv u Terrelle, but u need 2 think this through & don't pick a college just bc ur dad wants u 2 go, that's totally unfair! Any college that u pick is fine with me, i really dont care after u took my college off ur list...no matter where u go, I will ALWAYS cheer 4 u...maybs even attend a game or 2....just remember...ONCE A JAYHAWK, ALWAYS A JAYHAWK!!!

    This article is totally hilarious & all u people who think that its "not right" to joke about this kid, OBVIOUSLY hasn't been in a class w/this kid....I AM ALLOWED 2 say that this is funni bc I kno the kid personally, & he deserves 2 b made fun of (every once in awhile, NOT all the time)...

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  4. Anonymous about 1 year ago

    The sequel to this article should highlight tOSU as a school that produces good quarterbacks.

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  5. Lelly's wife about 1 year ago

    Hopefully he makes a 40 year decision> Get your education!!! And not in some general studies classes......Poor Shawn Kemp.

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