Brett Favre Named to Vacant New York Senate Seat (Satire)

The flames of man-crushes all over the nation were stoked this week with the news that New York Governor David Paterson has named Brett Favre to Hillary Clinton’s vacant seat in the U.S. Senate.

The appointment is the second unearned accolade in as many weeks for Favre, as he was recently named to the Pro Bowl as well. 

While the schedule of a U.S. Senator is very demanding, Favre announced in a tearful press conference today he still hasn’t ruled out returning to the New York Jets in 2009.  This news delighted Favre’s many fans, as it implies he can strengthen his grip on several NFL records including most interceptions thrown and most playoff losses by a starting quarterback.

Sales of Wrangler blue jeans and Vicodin pain pills rose sharply Wednesday morning.

AROUND THE NFL           

Plaxico Burress

Authorities raided the controversial wideout’s New Jersey home on Wednesday in an effort to seize his small cache of unregistered weapons.  Items confiscated included a 9mm handgun, an M1A1 Abrams tank, a broadsword, and a death ray.  Burress was at a convention with Terry “Tank” Johnson and was unavailable for comment.

Ed Hochuli

The muscular referee who has sparked more man-crushes than Brett Favre has boldly guaranteed a Broncos victory over the Chargers this Sunday.

Cowboys-Eagles

Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb is reportedly miffed that the tie against the Bengals in week 11 all but dashed the Eagles’ hopes of earning a playoff spot in their match up with the Cowboys this Sunday, and he has asked the NFL for a re-do.

Merry Christmas sports fans!