He may be a Premier League footballer, a rock star, and a pin-up for thousands of Paraguayan girls, but I would hate to be Roque Santa Cruz around this time of year!
With Christmas fast approaching, the inevitable puns on his name flood in. Yet they do not stop, and they crop up around whatever he does!
Should he score, the headlines in almost every paper the next day would be something like: "Santa gives Blackburn the perfect Christmas present!"
Should he miss, the headlines would be: "Santa missing at Christmas!"
If, for some reason, he was booed, and the fans gave him some harsh treatment then the headlines would inevitably be along the lines of "Santa sleighed!"
This year, with the speculation being all about his future at the club, the headlines have been mentioning Santa's shopping list and how all he wants for Christmas is to leave!
My personal favourite from this year, however, has to be when it was rumoured that Sam Allardyce would only get the Blackburn job if he could keep Santa Cruz at the club. The headline read: "Sam's Santa Clause!"
But when they are on the back pages of every paper in every shop, then it gets quite tiresome! I mean, I'm fed up with it, so I wonder what Santa Cruz himself feels like!
So, for Christmas, I am asking for an end to all the Santa puns! Please! Start using things like Ryan Bauble, Pepe Reindeer, and Holly Gunnar Solskjear by all means, but no more Santa Cruz!
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