Naughty or Nice: Santa's Checkin' His List Twice for These Naughty NHL Stars

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Naughty or Nice:  Santa's Checkin' His List Twice for These Naughty NHL Stars

Welcome to Part II of Naughty or Nice...NHL style. With Christmas rapidly approaching, it is time for Santa to check his list to see who has been naughty or nice. In the Naughty Or Nice: Santa's NHL Nice List article I explored players and NHL personnel who had an extremely beneficial first quarter.

This list features the unfortunate lot who may get "alternative" Christmas presents this year. This is not in order and by no means a complete list.

 

Mike Fisher and the Ottawa Senators

To say the Ottawa Senators are having an off season would be a very big understatement. The same can be said for Mike Fisher.  With only 11 points thus far, teammate Filip Kuba has double Fisher's points and earns half the salary, and he's a defenceman. If the Sens have any hope of making a play for a playoff spot, Fisher and company need to do something...anything...to get his point tally up.  Now would be a good time for Fisher to invest some of his $6 million salary in some lucky charms.  

Christmas present—Neon red-haired lucky troll and maybe lucky socks/boxers if he believes it will help. He can perhaps borrow something from Malkin.

 

Mike Comrie

Injuries aside, Comrie has been pretty ineffective thus far. After playing 16 games last year, Comrie had 17 points; he has eight this year.

Christmas wish—Health and a trade to a new team.


Michael Peca

NHL hockey was never known as the most gentlemanly sport ever played. But a category three "Physical Abuse of Officials" is just not sporting. I know you are not strong enough to take any of the players, but going after officials? That's kind of low. What next, little kids calling you names when you board the team bus???

New piece of equipment—A red flag you can wave at the officials to get their attention.

 

Andrei Kostitsyn

Dirty doesn't even begin to describe this player. If he isn't hitting from behind, then he is using his stick to poke the skate out from under a guy racing to touch a puck to negate an icing. Cheap, tawdry, just plain dangerous.

Christmas present—A bar of Irish spring soap and karma to bite him in the a**.

 

Marty Turco

You know, I never liked to kick a person while they are down mentality.  When the whole Sean Avery fiasco happened, the whole world saw just how dysfunctional the Dallas dressing room was. Especially for a mediocre goalie on a crappy team, Issuing smug comments on Avery should be the least of your worries. I say he should have shut his trap and focused on his own game, which obviously needs some attention. But hey, that's just me.

Christmas present—Bigger goalie pads and a bigger catching glove. And a smaller net too. Maybe that will help your game.

 

Gary Bettman

Not a big fan. In fact, I find him rather annoying and I'm beginning to feel like we got NBA's sloppy seconds. He is too busy trying to cater to those who have no interest in the game at the risk of alienating those who do have a passion. One gripe is how he feels the need to be visible and often wants to be seen and heard far too often. Yes, he has done some good things, but his ego is getting in the way of his objectivity. Out with the old, in with the new is what I say.

Christmas modification—A valve to release some of the air from his inflated ego.

 

Sean Avery

What can you say? The man made both the naughty and nice list. The self-appointed NHL mass media marketing guru tried to market the game to a wider audience. But not only did he market himself out of a job, he bit the hand that fed him (Brett Hull). Enough has been said about him, and he has been vilified enough for his tasteless comments. Get your help, eat your crow, and hope someone gives you another chance. 

Christmas present—A plain suit and a horse blinders. The plain non-flashy suit to draw less attention to yourself. The horse blinders to keep you focused on the task at hand and block the media and hype.

Well, that's it. Santa's list has officially been checked. Who cleans up their act, and who falls out of grace and into the check-twice list next year remains to be seen. May peace, love, and visions of Stanley Cups dance in your heads....   

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"

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