NFL Christmas Carols of 2008

Another holiday season is upon us, and we think of things we like the most about the season. Family, friends, the spirit of giving, the joy of the season, so on so forth. I however, think of ways to spin beloved Christmas carols into tales of the NFL season. Feel free to take these caroling to the neighbors...especially if one of them is a fan of the teams mentioned below!

From me to you, happy holidays!

“A Detroit Lions Christmas”
(to the tune of Joy To The World)

Joy to the world,
Their season’s done.
Detroit, can lose, no more!
Let every fan,
Crammed in Ford Field,
Go to the Red Wings games,
Go to the Red Wings games,
Go to…go to…the Red Wings games.

They haven’t won,
With Jon or Dan,
And Daunte wasn’t good.
Roy Williams was smart,
For getting out of there,
‘Cause Romo gets him the ball,
‘Cause Romo gets him the ball,
‘Cause Romo…’Cause Romo…gets him the ball.

“An Oakland Raiders Christmas”
(to the tune of Deck The Halls)

Deck the halls with playoff tickets,
Oakland Raiders fans, will never use.
‘Tis the year to can Lane Kiffin,
And give DeAngelo, 70 mil.
Don we now our scary makeup
And the spikes, and the masks, and the hair.
As we watch JaMarcus blow it,
Where oh where oh where, is Rick Mirer?

See the lousy-ness before us,
No one’s ever heard, of Ron Cable
We figure that things could be worse,
Thankfully we aren’t Lions fans.
Come on Davis, sell the damn team,
To someone who might actually care.
Either way Al Davis must go,
In favor of someone, who has more hair.

An NFC South Christmas
(to the tune of “There’s No Place Like Home For the Holidays”)

Oh there’s no place like home for this year’s playoffs
Cause no matter how far away you go,
If you play in this conference and you want a chance,
For this year’s playoffs, you can’t beat home sweet home.

I met a man who lives in Tampa Bay,
And he was heading for, Raymond James and that giant pirate ship.
To Carolina, folks are travelling, from that Tampa sunny shore,
From Atlanta to New Orleans, shoot, nothing rhymes with New Orleans.

Oh there’s no place like home for this year’s playoffs,
When at home, these four are 24 and two.
If you want to be in Tampa in the Superbowl,
For this year’s playoffs, you can’t beat home sweet home.

A Dallas Cowboys Christmas
(to the tune of “The Christmas Song”)

Pacman roasting on an open fire,
Marion’s got injured toes.
Jerry Jones, can’t keep his big yap shut,
And of course, an unhappy T.O.

Everybody knows, three touchdown passes from Romo,
Help to make December bright.
But if they’re thrown, Jason Witten’s way,
Then T.O. will fail to sleep tonight.

But their new stadium, is on its way
It cost a billion dollars, or so they say.
And every Cowboys fan, is going to smile,
Until their taxes on this thing, go sky high.

And so, keep looking to that playoff race,
Although the Ravens smacked them hard.
Although it’s been said…many times, many ways,
Give the damn ball…to Tashard.

The 12 Days of the NFL Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, the NFL gave to me…

12 Titans victories
11 Denver halfbacks
10 blown Green Bay leads
Nine Coors commercials
Eight injured Seahawks
Seven Allen cheap shots
Six Drew Brees touchdowns
FIVE TALKING HEADS!
Four Lions fans
Three injured refs
Two impressive rookies
And a Philly-Cincy tie!

We Wish We Were In the Pro Bowl
(to the tune of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas)

We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
But we’re from St. Louis,

We don’t deserve to,
Go to Hawaii
Because of our coach switch,
And no love for Torry,

We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
We wish we were in the Pro Bowl
And we won’t be next year!

This is an original article by Pigskin Heaven Writer, Whit Prowdy, you can read it, more of Whit Prowdy's articles and more from the Pigskin Heaven staff, here.