Ryan Fitzpatrick and the 9 Best Beards in the NFL
The NFL is a man's game. Boys need not apply. There is no better proof than looking at some of the beards players sport during the season. Nothing says you are a tough, ruthless badass better than an excellent beard.
The NFL has a number of different players who rock facial hair throughout the season. This year there have been a variety of styles grown by quarterbacks, linemen and wide receivers. Beards come in all shapes, sizes and colors, and not one look is particularly better than the other.
In this slideshow we will look at the top nine beards in the NFL. By the end you will either want to start growing a beard of your own or ask your significant other to cover their face with hair.
Without further ado, here is the list of the NFL’s best bearded warriors.
Brett Keisel: The Yosemite Sam
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Is there really any other place to start than with Brett Keisel? The Pittsburgh Steelers defensive tackle has a beard that strikes fear in the the hearts of most offensive linemen. His beard is so thick and dense there are tiny bugs that have never seen the light of day buried deep down inside the beard.
His beard gets the Yosemite Sam title because of the great mustache that accompanies it. Not many can pull off the beard-mustache combo as flawlessly as Keisel. Look how his mustache is more pronounced than the rest of his beard yet doesn't overpower the entire look. Simply incredible.
With players like Keisel, it is no wonder the Steelers are always one of the league's best teams.
Braylon Edwards: The Manicured
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Braylon's beard makes a statement for all wide receivers throughout the league. Look at it—so tight and clean. You can obviously tell he manicures his beard way more than most of the guys featured on this list. That is understandable, as wide receivers are known to be into themselves and somewhat vain.
In no way am I insinuating Edwards is that type of player, but his beard does reflect a certain "into myself" quality. No matter what his beard says about him, it has to be on this list for its neatly landscaped lines and definition. Way to go, Braylon!
Matt Light: The Power Beard
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One thing is for sure: There is nothing light about Matt's beard. I mean, look at this thing. Are we positive there is a face under there?
We are calling this one the "power beard" for two reasons.
First, Light is one of the offensive linemen that protects the best quarterback in the league. It is argued that Light derives all his power to protect Tom Brady from defensive pass-rushers through his beard. That is why Brady is rarely sacked. Light's beard contains enough strength and power to keep Brady on his feet making plays.
The second reason his beard is called a power beard is because of that mythical look he has. Look at him—he looks like some sort of Greek god who peers through your soul and rips out your heart. There might even be some Greek myth about how his beard was grown in one day and can never be shaved off. Who knows?
In the end, Matt Light's beard is legendary.
Nick Mangold: The Blond Bombshell
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If Nick Mangold grows his facial hair any longer, it will be long enough to donate to Locks of Love. They say blonds have more fun; well, Mangold backs up that statement with a lovely blond-ginger look I'm sure the ladies love.
Mangold's beard has been known to put a smile on the angriest of faces. Little do people know the reason Mangold is such a devastating blocker is because of the beard. One look at it warms your heart and makes you weak. Defensive linemen are unable to resist the powers that Mangold's beard contains. He uses this to his advantage by pancaking envious linemen at will.
Todd Haley: The Homeless
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You have to give it up for Todd Haley. I mean, here is a guy who is a head coach in the NFL, the face of a franchise, and he is able to get away with a beard that makes him look like the guy begging on the street. You can't hate it—you just have to respect it.
There are not many bosses out there who are able to show up to work looking like they just got back from a camping trip, but Haley pulls it off.
Haley better turn things around in Kansas City soon; otherwise, he will just be another jobless guy with a wonderful beard.
Joe Hawley: The Old-Timer
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When you look at Joe Hawley's beard, it brings you back to a time where big beards were all the rage. If he was transported in a time machine to the 1850s, no one would think his beard was impressive. Lucky for him he lives in the 21st century and gets the much-deserved respect for having an exceptional beard.
I imagine he keeps his beard in this bushy style because an hour after he is done eating he can still find food stuck in there that he can munch on. A tip of the cap to this classic, dare I say renaissance, bearded man.
Kyle Orton: The Patchy
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Yes, Orton made the list. We have to give credit where credit is due. There are not many men out there who would sport a beard as thin and patchy as Kyle Orton does. In no way are we making fun of him. No one gets to choose how much or little hair grows on their face.
In Orton's case he has decent chin coverage, but outside of that it is pretty sparse and straggly. Let this be a lesson to all men out there who can't grow a great beard. Grow what you got, be proud and look to Orton for inspiration.
Andrew Luck: The Amish
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I know, I know, Andrew Luck is not an NFL player, but he still belongs on this list. Here is my reasoning.
First of all, you can't go through an NFL weekend without someone talking about "Suck for Luck." People have already stated that he will be a great NFL quarterback as soon as he is in the league, so why not put him on this NFL list?
Now, let's get to his beard. We are calling this beard the Amish look. Some might also refer to it as a throat-goat. Regardless of what you call it, it is a beard style that is often overlooked when thinking about great beards.
Imagine how warm his throat is during cold-weather games. That has to be an advantage when calling out plays because his vocal cords are loose and limber.
Andrew Luck, even if you are a bust in the NFL (probably won't be), at least you have a great beard.
Ryan Fitzpatrick: The Harvard
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Why is Fitzpatrick's beard called the Harvard? Because he went to Harvard, duh!
Seriously though, Ryan Fitzpatrick has an incredible beard for a guy who is probably smarter than 95 percent of the NFL. Many people would say he is crazy to have that type of facial hair, but obviously those people are crazy because Harvard doesn't just allow anyone to graduate from its fine university. If Fitzpatrick's beard is good enough for the Ivy League, it is without a doubt good enough to make this list.
I am not sure what women find most attractive about Fitzpatrick—that he's a Harvard alum, an NFL quarterback or has a stupendous beard. I'm going with the beard.