"So help God me I'll hit you with this Gatorade bottle!"
Brian Sabean has been called a lot of things during his tenure with the San Francisco Giants:
"The Tire Kicker."
"The Hawaiian Shirted Dracula."
And, on occasion, "SavvySabes."
Here are the 9 savviest moves position by position in the Brain Sabean era.
Giants First Basman, J.T. Snow
After the 1996 season, Sabean traded pitchers Allen Watson and Fausto Macey for J.T.Snow. Snow played nine seasons for the Giants, and anchored first base.
Snow also won four gold gloves while with the Giants.
Games Played: 1183
Children Saved: 1
Prior to the 1997 season, Sabean made his most controversial—but ultimately successful—trade, by sending Jose Vizcaino, Julian Tavarez, Joe Roa and fan favorite Matt Williams to the Indians for second baseman Jeff Kent.
The trade was originally lambasted by critics and fans. Sabean was eventually pushed to state publicly, "I am not an idiot".
Kent's MVP award in 2000 certainly helped to dispel any lingering debate over the trade.
Games played: 900
Trucks Washed: 0
Juan Uribe was signed as a minor-league free agent in 2009. Until the 2010 playoff run, his Giants claim-to-fame was botching Jonathan Sanchez's perfect game.
Uribe's walk-off sacrifice fly in Game 4 of the 2010 National League Championship Series versus the Phillies, as well as the go-ahead HR in the deciding Game 6, will rank as a Giants all-time moment for years to come.
Games played: 270
During the Sabean era, the Giants have been unable to acquire a shortstop or third baseman who really stood out.
Rich Aurilia was a mainstay at shortstop for eight years, but he was signed pre-Sabean, and so is disqualified (which is also why the players mentioned on this list are more playoff heroes than regular season performers).
But Renteria showed up when it counted the most—and for that, Sabean should receive some credit.
Babiess woken: 1
World Series MVP's: 1
Benito Santiago joined the Giants in 2001. That same year, he was the Willie Mac Award winner for sportsmanship. He was a catalyst in the Giants' 2002 World Series run.
And lastly, he threw from his knees like a crazy man.
Games played: 367
Acquired halfway through the 1998 season, Ellis Burks put up torrid numbers hitting behind Barry Bonds. His 2.5-year stint with the Giants included the Opening Day start at the then-titled Pac Bell Park.
A mid-season trade sent Kenny Lofton to the Giants and Felix Diaz to the White Sox. Lofton (pictured above while running from Godzilla) delivered the hit that sent the Giants to the 2002 World Series.
Though his time with the Giants was short—he only played in 46 games—Lofton provided a memorable playoff moment and proved to be a key late-season addition.
See, stats don't always tell the whole story... nerds.
Pat Burrell was acquired early in 2010 after he was released by the then-Tampa Bay Devil Rays.
Burrell had an immediate impact on the team—not only on the field, but in the clubhouse. His home run off Jonathan Broxton marked a turning point for the 2010 team on its way to a World Series title.
Robb Nen was traded to the Giants as part of the Marlins' 1997 fire sale.
Nen's stats with the Giants are obviously impeccable, but the true measure of Nen's worth to the team was his character.
Despite a badly damaged shoulder, Nen still answered the call in Game 6 of the 2002 World Series.
Water Smoked: All of it