The Premier League Nativity 2008

David KiffordContributor IDecember 18, 2008

Christmas is one of the busiest and most draining times of the season for players and managers in the Premier League, a fixture schedule congested with what can prove to be some of the most important fixtures of the season.

But everybody needs time to unwind and relax at Christmas, ponder if you will a very special nativity play by the Premier League Drama Society.


I give you the cast of The Premier League Nativity 2008:


Mary– Steven Gerrard


A figure that was introduced to the story as a teenager she was approached by the Angel Gabriel and told she would be the one who would give birth to the Son of God.


Honoured by many for her courage, virtue and faith in the orders she was entrusted with. Forced to journey towards the end of her pregnancy (season) to ensure safe delivery of her child (trophy).


Joseph– Paul Scholes


Joseph played an important role in the nativity and is evident in the most important parts of the story. However he was noticeable by his silence throughout the story and refused to do any interviews for the Bethlehem Gazette over the big story he was involved in.


Baby Jesus– Theo Walcott


The character of which the entire story revolves around, the boy who would become a man and bring piece and harmony to the troubled world.


Also known for performing miracles (hat-trick in Zagreb anyone?). Just be wary and remember that Jesus was eventually crucified on the cross...for our sins.


King Herod– Sir Alex Ferguson


The king who, appointed by an empire to rule over a powerful state, is known for his ambitious but taxing building projects and consolidation of power. He accomplishes this through a combination of ruthless subjugation of his subjects and the extermination of any threats to his throne, including the slaying of his own sons (!).



Arch Angel Gabriel– Gary Lineker


One of God’s favourite angels entrusted with the duty of visiting the public, in this case Mary and the Shepherds to inform them of the coming of his son, Jesus.


Known for an exemplary disciplinary record and always delivering the news on time, normally with a cheeky smile and topical joke, seems inappropriate but he always manages to pull it off. His presence (particularly around the box) invokes both fear and awe (in opponents), although his messages are celebratory in nature.


Shepherds– Alan Hansen, Alan Shearer, and Mark Lawrenson


The Angel Gabriel appeared to them to inform them of the birth of the Son of God. They also directed the Wise Men towards Bethlehem and offered advice and assistance as to the best way for them to succeed in the Journey to the holy lands.


Three Wise Men– Jose Mourinho, Arsene Wenger, and Rafa Benitez


Sometimes referred to as the Three Kings or The Magi, they traveled far from foreign lands to be part of a special event. Bringing extravagant gifts from abroad they dressed distinctively and spoke in broken language as they struggle with the local dialect.


The Donkey– Emmanuel Adebayor


Affectionately known as Adebay-ee-orr, he was a donkey….What more did you expect?


A one of magical performance of this special presentation will take place on Boxing Day, tune into Angel Gabri…I mean, Gary Lineker for highlights.


Merry Christmas everyone and a Happy New Year!