On Thursday in Canberra, Australia, Barack Obama, the leader of the free world, the commander-in-chief of the largest and strongest army in the history of this planet, the symbol of liberty for those fighting oppression in the far reaches of the globe, was mercilessly swindled by Julia Bishop, the Deputy Leader of the Opposition in the Australian Parliament.
Obama, as part of his twice-delayed trip down under, expected to conduct a little business and keep ties close with one of America's closest allies. Instead, he was converted to support the West Coast Eagles, an Australian rules football team from Perth. Bishop made sure as much, presenting him with a guernsey (jersey) with Obama's name on it.
“Think of the Pittsburgh Steelers,” Bishop told Obama, according to westcoasteagles.com.au, no doubt conjuring up images of greatness.
“A really great team,” the President replied.
Except there's one major problem with that comparison: The Steelers already had four Super Bowl titles nearly a decade before the West Coast Eagles even existed. Yup, the Eagles first season (1987) came four years after the retirement of Terry Bradshaw.
Which isn't to say the Eagles aren't a great team. They have won three championships in the past two decades, more than any other club and equaled only by Geelong and Brisbane Lions. But they cannot be compared to the Steelers.
So, Mr. President, as a favor to you, I've decided to compare each of the 18 AFL franchises to a Big 4 North American sports team. I hope you reconsider your Eaglehood and make an intelligent, fact-based decision according to the presentations put forth in the following 18 slides.
You can still pick the Eagles, but don't be forced into a club. After all, there is nothing more important on this planet than football.