For Sale: Orange Bowl Tickets, $1 Each. Any Takers?

Congratulations, BCS. You have outdone yourself. The Orange Bowl is an official flop, and it hasn't even played out yet.

The going rate for an Orange Bowl 50 yard line ticket is $181, but it's probably up for negotiation. The rest of the tickets are selling for far below the face value of $130-$240 per seat.

Some tickets are going for $1. That's O-N-E dollar, folks.

Want to sit in an executive suite? For $250, it's yours on StubHub.com. Want to sit in the upper deck? From $1 to $11 bucks, you can watch the Virginia Tech Hokies take on the Cincinnati Bearcats from the upper decks, because those seats at those prices still aren't selling.

Given that the demand for tickets drives tickets up or down, and given the way this economy is going, it is becoming more apparent than ever that the BCS has a big FUBAR on its hands. While you can blame the economy - after all, even the Championship Game's tickets are not selling at optimum prices - the reality is, the Orange Bowl bites.

Yeah, I know, you're not supposed to use that word, but honestly, there is really no other word to describe the Orange Bowl. The tickets are cheap and plentiful because no one gives an orange about this game.

Do you get it yet, BCS? You blew it. You finally got caught looking dumber than usual. You gave the public something to consider going to for a lousy buck. In other words, given the choice between a King-size Hershey candy bar or a seat in Miami Gardens at the FedEx Orange Bowl, it's a tie.

The Hershey candy bar and a FedEx Orange Bowl ticket are equal in value. Go ahead, let that sink in.

Hokies fans and Bearcats fans will cry "not fair" over the criticism, but frankly, we don't care anymore what you think. If it weren't for mandated autoberths, both of those teams would be playing in the Gator Bowl and GMAC Bowl, respectively.

You simply can't make that same argument for USC (11-1), Penn State (11-1), Alabama (12-1), Texas (11-1), Utah (12-0), or Ohio State (10-2).

Harp all you want about how competitive the Big East or ACC is, it's falling on deaf ears. Most of the nation isn't drinking the same Kool-aid as those in Blacksburg or Cincinnati. We know better.

How embarrassing is this for the BCS? After all, they want to give us the best match-ups and make a ton of money for the conferences, but instead, they offer up some read duds (Sugar Bowl isn't as bad, but it still stinks) and expect some desperate fans to go and pay to see this BCS bowl.

And yes, of course we will be watching the Orange Bowl, but only because we are desperate college football fans being held hostage by the BCS. Besides, it's free on TV, unless you want to fork over $22 bucks to watch the FedEx BCS Championship Game in 3-D (insert laughs here) coming soon to a theatre near you.

What are the cameramen going to do? Keep their lens focused on the 50 yard line so know one can see the plethora of vacant seats glistening in the bright South Florida sunshine? The Orange Bowl, it seems, will look empty unless they "give away" the empty seats to local kids so as to make it look full- an art  UCLA has perfected under the Karl Dorrell regime.

Tom Brennaman  and Charles Davis will be searching for words to describe the festive, rollicking scene in Miami Gardens, and that alone will be worth watching. Our hearts go out to these brave souls, but if anyone can make lemons out of lemonade, it's Davis and Brennaman.

Finally, if you live in Florida and have absolutely nothing to do on January 1st, buy a dollar ticket and then, after your first quarter nap, go sneak over to the 30-40 yard line seats. If you have to bribe an usher a 20 spot, go for it. After all, sitting on the 40 yard line for $21 bucks to watch the FedEx Orange Bowl is a bargain price.

Isn't it?