College Football ADD: Time-Filling Edition

Ryan StubbsCorrespondent IDecember 17, 2008

For those who don’t read full articles...


- Who won the Heisman? A quarterback from one of the best teams in college football. Shocking.
- Don't know if anyone was more deserving than Bradford, though. The after effect, however, turns him into bulletin board material for Florida until Jan. 8. I'm sure the Gators would love to knock down two Heisman winners in three seasons.
- I'm interested to see how the injury to DeMarco Murray affects the game plan of the Sooners. I'd be more interested if the Sooners didn't still have leading rusher Chris Brown. Times are tough in Norman when you can only muster two 1,000-yard rushers per season.
- Auburn fans...stop being irrational. Gene Chizik's hiring wasn't racism, and it wasn't blatant idiocy. It's Auburn remaining true to the good ol' boys club, and returning the favor to a former coordinator from the glory year (yes, I meant year).
No need to make it out to more than what it truly is. Not that what is isn't archaic anyway, but still, we don't need far-fetched allegations when the simple answer is right in front of you, no matter how stupid the hiring looks. That goes for you, too, Sir Charles.
- Can we just create an award for Louie Sakoda, the punter/kicker from Utah? I mean the guy was in the top 30 nationally in both categories and specifically No. 4 in the country in field goals made. Problem was the winners in both these awards categories were just as qualified, if not more so.
Doesn't mean Sakoda doesn't deserve some sort of award.
- Biggest shocker of the awards night: Malcolm Jenkins taking home the Thorpe Award. I was stunned at that one. Would've bet the farm on Eric Berry from Tennessee.
- So long, Beanie Wells, it was a fun ride.
- Welcome back JoePa, three more years of bowel movement jokes await you.
- Anyone looking for a challenge that thinks they know something about college football take out a piece of paper and try to come up with the full names of the 34 bowl games in less than five minutes. I had a buddy challenge me to this and I got 32 of 34 (missed the Insight and for some dumb reason the Liberty Bowl). It's a lot harder than you think, and I just gave you two.
- There's a new all-time rushing leader in NCAA history. Nate Kmic from the Purple Raider powerhouse of Mount Union ran his name atop the record book this past Saturday by surpassing former D-II back Danny Woodhead of Chardon State. Kmic will no doubt be the first player in NCAA history to rush for 8,000 in a career, as he sits at 7,986 going in to the D-III Stagg Bowl title game this Saturday. 
Thing that cracks me up about the absurdity of that amount of yardage is that teams focused their efforts solely on stopping Kmic and couldn't. From Monday's Columbus Dispatch:
Saturday, in a Division III playoff semifinal, on their home field in Alliance, Ohio, the Raiders beat Wheaton (Ill.) College, 45-24. Afterward, Wheaton coach Mike Swider said he wouldn't have cared if his team allowed 500 passing yards; his game plan had focused on shutting down Kmic. And Kmic (pronounced "ki-MICK") rushed for 310 yards and three touchdowns on 29 carries.
So, basically, your game plan failed horribly; that’s what you’re saying, coach? Thought I'd throw it out there.
- Whoever said the BCS gave us some intriguing matchups this bowl season apparently didn't consult Vegas. Three of the four BCS games are at least 9-point opening spreads and the one that isn't is probably the least intriguing—Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech. The opening spread for Oklahoma-Florida was Florida (-3.5).
- Most favorable opening line: Texas Tech (-5.5) over Ole Miss.
- Most questionable opening line: South Florida (-12.5) over Memphis. Memphis isn't exactly a powerhouse but South Florida ended the season by losing five of seven.
- Second most favorable opening line: Rutgers (-8) over N.C. State

With the college football season at a standstill this week, I thought I'd show that I can write about more than just college football and get some random thoughts on the NFL, NBA, MLB, and other various acronyms. Enjoy!



New Knowledge from the Past Week

- Did you know John Tesh wrote the NBA on NBC music back in the day? I had no idea.

- Over the next few years, the comparison of Adrian Peterson to Walter Payton is going to become less about being a complement for Peterson and more a complement for Payton. The physicality of how Peterson runs is just jaw dropping. I love watching Beanie Wells at Ohio State because of his devastating stiff arm, but Peterson is in an entirely different category when it comes to just running through, over, and, when he needs to, around people.
- I realize the collective consensus about the Pro Bowl is that it's the least important professional All-Star game, but here's one thing I'd like to point out. Which top two player from the 2006 draft is on the Pro Bowl roster and which is not? Why, yes, I am referring to Mario Williams over Reggie Bush.
- Jeff Fisher and the Titans are done. No wait...they are DONE. Capitalized. Regardless of when Albert Haynesworth and Kyle Vanden Bosch return, they proved the No. 5 rushing team could only muster 100 rushing yards against the league's 24th-ranked rush D. Kerry Collins may be able to manage a game for you, but he's proven he can't win a game for you. DONE!
- Sign up now for the waiting list to be the next NBA coach. Spots open up daily!
- Here's the difference between college basketball and college football. Right now, Notre Dame has two losses on the season and is ranked No. 12. Ohio State has no losses, beat Notre Dame, and is ranked No. 17. In the college football world, planes would fly overhead of South Bend railing on the injustice Notre Dame is guilty of, page-long editorials would be written in papers across the nation about the atrocities of polls and what not. 
College basketball has this beautiful thing called a tourney which means polls in the regular season are the equivalent of being a "partner" of Jenna Jameson. In other words, who cares?
- Regular season basketball game I'm actually excited for this week: No. 7 Xavier travels to Cameron Indoor to take on No. 6 Duke. What a game.
- The Cleveland Caveliers, explained: LeBron James is averaging 35.5 minutes per game this season and has only five games played out of 24 where he's logged 40-plus minutes. The last four seasons he's averaged a minimum of 40.4 minutes/game, and last season specifically he logged 14 40-plus minute games in the first 24 games of the year. Draw your own conclusions here.
The space above was for you to draw.
- I'm happy Columbus will get the opportunity to host a U.S. National qualifier vs. arch-enemy Mexico for the third straight time. I think the city could sell out Crew Stadium for the event...if it wasn't held in February. What logical sense does it make to host a soccer game in the middle of February in Ohio? I'm baffled by this.


- In seeing Jimmy Jackson as one of the newest color commentators for the Big Ten Network, I’m curious as to why/how Ohio State has so many former players in commentating/analyst positions.  I’d like to think it’s a disproportionate amount compared to any other school, although I could be over-looking something.


Just a sampling off the top of my head:


Cris Carter (ESPN NFL Analyst)

Robert Smith (ESPN college football analyst)

Clark Kellogg (CBS lead college basketball announcer)

Kirk Herbstreit (ESPN/ABC lead college football announcer)

Chris Spielman (ESPN college football analyst)

Although few Ohio State people claim him Bob Knight (ESPN college basketball analyst).




Non-Sports Thoughts of the Week
- Tara Reid checked into rehab...I'm stunned. Chalk that right up there with Michael Jackson having plastic surgery.
I loved the titles for those news alerts though, "American Pie Star Tara Reid checks into rehab." Nevermind American Pie was what, eight or nine years ago? Yup, that's her pinnacle.
- If there is one show that has given my friends and I more inside jokes than any other, it's How I Met Your Mother. I hope it stays around for another season.
But for those of you yet to jump on the Barney Stenson/Doogie Howser and Co. bandwagon, next Monday (the 22nd) CBS will air one of my favorite TV episodes of all time for any show in "Slapsgiving." Watch it, and if you still don't like the show, I'm sorry; I tried to get you to open your horizons a little bit.
- I can't wait for The Dark Knight on DVD. Not because I loved the movie so much, but because I haven't seen it yet and I really do want to. Try finding another person out there that hasn't seen this movie's like trying to find someone who still does the Atkins Diet.


Next week's edition will focus on the opening games of bowl season and look ahead to who I think will win the most bowl games, by conference. Until then, enjoy college basketball season and the NFL Thursday night game.