Before we begin this jubilant experience dealing with the nerdiest players in baseball history, let us first discuss what exactly the term nerdy means.
From the mouth of Webster's Dictionary, nerd is, "an unstylish, unattractive, or socially inept person; especially: one slavishly devoted to intellectual or academic pursuits."
Considering nothing we'll be discussing has to do with "intellectual or academic pursuits," I find it best if we agree on a couple less concrete things when it comes to the concept of nerd akin to sports figures.
1. Some of us WERE the nerd growing up, and so therefore, we find any sort of discussion offensive at its very core. And while I agree with you to some degree, I want to argue my point by stating all of us, at one point or another, have laughed at someone else's expense.
Example: person or persons tripping in public, unexpected flagellant, bad haircut.
2. Before reading an article of this nature, we toss out all Hollywood versions of our favorite stars. Agreed? I sure hope so, because some of our most beloved were better suited on Extreme Makeover.
3. This entire article is all meant to have a laugh. Some of my selections you will disagree on because all of us define things differently. The objective nature of the term nerd is enslaved to each of our generation's conceptualization of the term, and most importantly, our personal experiences.
4) Burt Reynolds' sexiness swings on an active pendulum from 1 to 10, 10 to 1. His pornographic mustache was a sexy trait for those in the 70s and 80s, who idolized getting tickled and kissed at the same time. My generation? Not so much. He will be key in our discussion.
I hereby grant all rights of the article's reflections, offenses, perceptions and witty outrageous phrases to the reader, and will not be held liable for that which you are about to behold.