No, I don't mean actual deathmatches. I mean hilarious satirical matches with figurines made out of clay!
For those unfamiliar, Celebrity Deathmatch was a show that ran on MTV from 1998-2002 and had a year long revival on MTV2 from 2005-2006.
The shows format was satirical of the pro-wrestling format, and would pit two celebrities against each other in a match to the death over some kind of similarity or real life issue, such as The Spice Girls taking on the boy band Hanson for pop music superiority, or Geraldo Rivera taking on Larry King to crown the better reporter.
In the world of professional wrestling, there is kayfabe heat and real life issues that stars have with one another.
It has become more prevalent for the fans to catch wind of such problems between wrestlers with the Internet always buzzing with wrestling stories and the latest rumors.
This article will take a look at eight such real life feuds between wrestling personalities, all of which would be great candidates for matches on Celebrity Deathmatch!
Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart
This one could have made the list, but they have finally made peace with one another; this one just gets honorable mention.
Edge vs. Matt Hardy
The sordid affair between Edge and Lita drove the major storyline between these two superstars, and this match could have made the list if not for the fact that they had actual matches.
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon
Not only did these two meet in the squared circle, this match actually happened on Celebrity Deathmatch. If you can find it on the net and were a fan of wrestling in the Attitude Era, I highly recommend watching it if you haven't seen it. Stone Cold actually does his own voice in quite a few episodes.
They say a drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts, and this would be 100 percent true of this rant from Jeff Hardy.
I don't know if CM Punk ever acknowledged the apparent problem that Jeff Hardy has with him, but with the drastic difference in lifestyles, this would make for a hilarious CDM.
One of the bigger news items of the summer was the "Twitter War" between Hulk Hogan and The Ultimate Warrior.
The two have had issues in real life for years, and to see the animators at MTV take this real life feud and mix it with their claymation and their over the top '80s personas would make great TV.
Vince Russo is arguably one of the most hated men to ever be associated with professional wrestling, and one man in particular who had a problem with Mr. Russo for years is seasoned manager and booker Jim Cornette.
Anyone who was a fan of wrestling in its Golden Age, or at least studies up on their wrestling history, would love to see Cornette tear Russo limb from limb in this cartoon setting.
By now the entire IWC is familiar with the now infamous Wrestlemania snub of Trish Stratus by John Morrison. It was rumored that Melina had put the bug in Morrison's ear that she "deserved the spot" and that Trish "took it from her".
The possibilities for this match are really endless however. With all the "friends" that Melina made in WWE, you can pretty much replace Trish Stratus with any Diva on the roster (or half the TNA Knockout roster since half of them are WWE alum) and it would work on a personal level.
Piggybacking off the previous slide, more real life heat could come from this match since it was said that Melina was having trysts with Batista while she was still dating John Morrison.
I hope that MTV would animate this match to make Morrison look better than WWE is doing right now...
Ric Flair has been in this industry for nearly half a century and in recent years has been very vocal in his criticism. Something he had said for quite some time was that Mick Foley was a glorified stuntman, and had little to no wrestling ability.
I'm sure that Mick's hardcore style would be better suited to the Deathmatch arena.
For what seems like his entire WWE career, Vince McMahon has not been fond of Jim Ross.
Ross is widely considered the best announcer to ever put on the headset, and Vince simply cannot stand that fact. To Vince it seems JR reminds him too much of "that wrasslin'" that southerners were so fond of.
With Austin in his corner, I'm sure that Ross would emerge victorious, and Vince would fall again in the Deathmatch arena.
Chyna spoke recently in a less than flattering light about her former beau and his wife. She is none too fond of the way that she and Hunter broke up, and it seems she is still rather upset about it.
This would not only be an entertaining segment for the IWC, but also a tough call on the winner.
This wouldn't work as a full match, but as a part of one of the aforementioned matches a crowd of us "10 percenters" could swallow up Mr. Bischoff.
It's not a secret that Bischoff looks down at us because many of us are critical of the product we see every week.
So did I miss anybody, guys? Anyone you'd like to see get their clay limbs torn apart? Let me know in the comments section, and I'll add your suggestions here!
Until next time, I'm Merlot Williams, and that's my opinion.