Lingerie Football League: More Physical Than the NFL

Mike StangerCorrespondent INovember 9, 2011

LAS VEGAS, NV - FEBRUARY 06:  Natalie Jahnke #16 of the Los Angeles Temptation prepares to hike the ball to quarterback Ashley Salerno #8 in front of Marirose Roach #6 of the Philadelphia Passion during the Lingerie Football League's Lingerie Bowl VIII at the Thomas & Mack Center February 6, 2011 in Las Vegas, Nevada. Los Angeles won 26-25.  (Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images)
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

What do the Theory of Relativity and the Lingerie Football League have in common?  Both are the products of genius.

In fact, the Lingerie Football League (LFL) may be a greater intellectual feat.  Whereas Einstein's theory required abstract conceptualization, the LFL required no thought.  The marriage of football and scantily-clad women seemed almost too simple and too obvious, yet it took someone with the vision to take a no-brainer and make it so.

This is the stuff that Nobel Prize winners are made of.

Now, before you go dismissing the league as pure fodder and catering to the over-sexed male population, you must understand a few things.

First, you are correct.  The whole concept is pandering to us libido-driven men.  So what?  But, when you dig a little deeper, you'll see something else—real football.

You see, as the NFL slowly starts to resemble flag football, the LFL brings the physicality in more ways than one.  True, these ladies have great bodies and those bodies are on display for us to ogle.  However, they also play the game with an intensity and ferocity that is sorely lacking in today's modern NFL.

Evidence of this is in the uniform.  Aside from the clothing aspect being minimal (and who's complaining?), the equipment is also rather spare.

Yes, these ladies play on a layer of concrete covered by felt wearing little protection.  Most of the equipment looks like it was purchased from the bargain bin at Dick's Sporting Goods.

LAS VEGAS, NV - FEBRUARY 06:  Quarterback Ashley Salerno #8 of the Los Angeles Temptation dives past Whitney Paronish #16 and Marirose Roach #6 of the Philadelphia Passion to score on a conversion attempt during the Lingerie Football League's Lingerie Bow
Ethan Miller/Getty Images

The helmet is basically some junior hockey league edition.  The shoulder pads are made of NERF material. They wear elbow and knee pads, the same kind I wore in parochial junior high basketball.

And that's it.  No pants to prevent carpet burn.  No tops to protect those flat, tone bellies. (Oh, those flat, tone bellies!)

Think about: These women play on the same field as the Arena Football League, yet wear considerably less equipment.  Tell me that doesn't take courage!

And these ladies don't play some little namby-pamby game of grab ass. (Although there is nothing wrong with a little namby-pamby game of grab ass.)  Nope, these ladies hit hard and play for keeps.

So, the next time you get tired of the NFL and its insistence on turning the game into playground touch football, give the LFL a chance.

After all, don't we watch football because of the competitiveness and the scantily-clad cheerleaders?  Well, the LFL provides scantily-clad women playing competitive football.

Makes you love being a man.