Sports QuoteBook: Sepp Blatter, Dean Jones, MS Dhoni Et Al

Linus Fernandes@mktimeforsportsAnalyst IINovember 7, 2011

Sports QuoteBook: Sepp Blatter, Dean Jones, MS Dhoni Et Al

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    Sepp Blatter, Ottis Gibson,Dean Jones,MS Dhoni and Martin Whitmarsh make up the numbers in this edition of "What They Said, Really Meant and Definitely Did Not".

    Blatter has bad apples on his minds; these apples don't make the doctor go away, they force the FIFA President to play medic.

    Dean Jones offers Simon Katich some unsolicited advice and mighty real and harsh it is too.

    MS Dhoni communicates digital ennui in his tweets.

    West Indies coach Ottis Gibson is realistic about his bowling resources.

    And Martin Whitmarsh wants his driver Lewis Hamilton to be a man, not a he-man.

Sepp Blatter Intends to Shake the Apple Tree, Long and Hard

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    What he said:

    "It takes time to shake the tree until all bad apples have fallen to the ground.”

    FIFA chief, Sepp Blatter, promises to clean up soccer’s governing body in an open letter addressed to the readers of “Inside World Football”.

    Blatter recently ordered the reopening of the ISL case where it is alleged that FIFA and Olympic officials accepted kickbacks on marketing contracts.

    The FIFA boss was re-elected President unopposed when Bin Hammam was provisionally suspended by FIFA’s ethics committee in June this year.

    This is Blatter’s fourth consecutive term at the helm of international football.

    Blatter wrote:

    It would be disingenuous of me not to acknowledge reality, and the fact that we have been fighting an uphill struggle to calm nerves, initiate urgently needed reforms and at the same time adhere to a sense of reason during the stormiest of times. 
    FIFA’s last 100 days were among the most difficult in it’s over 100-year history.

    Blatter added:

    “It takes time to shake the tree until all bad apples have fallen to the ground. Even if some of them refuse to fall at first.”

    Blatter concluded, saying:

    In brief: I have initiated relevant and powerful change without "ifs" and "whens". 
    FIFA remains committed to walking the walk and won’t get stuck in solely talking the talk. By December, this will become clear for all to see. Until then, I invite everybody to bear with us so that we can clean house and come back to the public with facts that allow FIFA to enter a new decade of doing business. And never again revert to doing "business as usual".

    What he really meant:

    “It seems some bad apples are coated with super-glue. We’ll have to shake very hard and long.”

    What he definitely didn’t:

    “Am I not the apple of your eye? The largest and the tastiest.”

Ottis Gibson Pitches for 7 Up

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    What he said:

    “Against this Indian batting lineup, you probably need seven bowlers.”

    West Indies coach, Ottis Gibson, is none-too-optimistic about his side’s chances against a strong Indian batting line-up—in familiar Indian conditions.

    What he really meant:

    “In English, Australian or South African conditions, four bowlers can bowl them out every time.”

    What he definitely didn’t:

    “We’re going to do that. Seven bowlers, it is.”

Dean Jones Gets over It Finally with Simon Katich’s ‘Help’

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    What he said:

    “In Katich’s last seven innings, he averaged only 29. I averaged over 85 from my last seven hits and he calls himself poorly treated?”

    Dean Jones believes that two or more wrongs actually make a right.

    The former Australian cricketer and commentator, affectionately referred to as “Professor Deano”, wrote:

    Maybe Katich should talk to guys like Tom Moody, Jamie Siddons and Jamie Cox about how they were treated. Then he might think he has been treated better than he first thought.

    Brad Hodge has been quite flippant on his non-selection, but it is sad he hasn’t played more for Australia. Unfortunately, that is just the way the cookie crumbles and he has handled this admirably.

    Jones’ piece in “The Age” was titled,”Three words of ‘communication’ for Katich: get over it

    Jones added:

    Let me tell you from experience it is awful being dropped. I was dropped seven times from the ODI team from 1986 to ’94. I was ranked the No. 1 player in the world by the ICC for four years during that time. I never got any feedback and never wanted it. I realised that no matter what you say, it won’t change their opinion. So why waste the energy? When your captain and coach don’t want you, then it’s time to go. Test cricket was taken away from me and I didn’t just want to play ODI cricket so I retired.

    I love Katich as a player and he is a solid bloke. But, really, he is 36 and you don’t have to be Einstein to know that the selectors would pick Hussey and Ponting before him, no matter what he thinks of Clarke. My advice to Katich is to mentor the kids in New South Wales. Let me tell you from experience, he will get a lot of fun out of it!

    When your international career is finished, you feel something has died in you. It is hard to deal with. Depression can take over. This is a time when your support network must help you. One day you are in the inner sanctum and you owned the dressing rooms, the next day you’re not allowed back in. It is a gut-wrenching experience and it will take Katich a year or so to get over it.

    It took me two years to get over my sacking. I just put all my effort into the Vics. I got a huge amount of fun in helping the likes of Hodge, Elliott, Williams, Harvey and others. There is so much pleasure in helping young kids following their dreams trying to play for Australia. I hope Katich does the same. He still has so much to offer to Australian cricket.

    Players of today want more feedback from the selectors. Well that’s OK, as long as they accept the fact they might not like what the selectors have to say! Ultimately, the players must work it out for themselves.

    What Dean Jones really should have said:

    “Katich, I’m impressed by your oratory. Why waste your time at the crease when I have an open spot for you in the commentary box?”

    What Dean Jones definitely didn’t:

    “Katich and I are to co-author a book,’A Walk Down Aussie Cricketing History: Selectors’ Foibles and Follies Lovingly Recalled.’”

MS Dhoni and Wife Sakshi Are ‘Digitally Bound’

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    What he said:

    “Finally everything over for today, press conference, team meeting, match referee meeting so my wife thinks its time for her to eat my head.”

    Indian skipper, MS Dhoni, shares the trials and tribulations of attending to spousal duties after discharging his cricketing ones.

    Dhoni updated his Twitter page with the above quote.

    The following tweet was a gem:

    “Me and my wife (Sakshi) in the same room but communicating via twitter.”

    Now, you and I know how to communicate with our partners. If it’s good enough for the Indian skipper, it’s good enough for us.

    What MS Dhoni really meant:

    “I’d rather negotiate the West Indian quicks than an unhappy spouse.”

    What MS Dhoni definitely didn’t:

    “My wife’s a cannibal and dinner starts from the top. She’s also a Hannibal Lecter fan.”

Martin Whitmarsh Wants Lewis Hamilton to Be a Man

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    What he said:

    “They are men, they have got to figure it out for themselves.”

    McLaren team boss, Martin Whitmarsh, feels that Lewis Hamilton and Felipe Massa are mature  enough to settle their differences themselves minus intermediation.

    Hamilton and Massa have clashed six times on the track this season.

    Whitmarsh believes that being second within his own team has contributed to Hamilton’s frustrations.

    The McLaren team principal said:

    Lewis, the great and exciting driver that he is, will not like being beaten by Jenson. For any driver, the first driver you want to beat is your team mate.

    Lewis will be feeling under pressure because of the great performances from Jenson at the moment. I don’t want him to enjoy being beaten by his team-mate. I want him to try to beat Jenson, just as I want Jenson to try to beat Lewis.

    Jenson Button is second in the individual drivers’ standings with 240 points behind Sebastian Vettel.

    What Whitmarsh really meant:

    “I’d really prefer it if they could just arm-wrestle instead of damaging my car.”

    What Whitmarsh  definitely didn’t:

    “Vamos, Massa!”