The 5 People Who Never Want To See the NBA Lockout End
Photo courtesy of Jesse D. Garrabrant/NBA.com
Did you just hear that? The eerie silence emanating from your local NBA arena? Yes, you may not have noticed due to the stupor college and professional football has put on you, but the NBA still isn't playing any games. Nothing quite like following up one of the greatest NBA seasons of all time with a labor disagreement, eh?
Across the nation, NBA fans hope for an end to the lockout and the return of their beloved teams. However, there remain those who in hushed tones hope that the lockout never ends. Who are these rouges, you ask? Read on.
5. Dallas Maverick Fans
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You know, I'm starting to become quite jealous of those Dallas Maverick fans. Not only does their team win the NBA Finals, but they do it in remarkable fashion, defeating one of the most hated teams of all time while becoming a national hero in the eyes of the public.
Now these same fans get to enjoy the fact that their hold on the NBA title will remain absolute so long as no games are played. The longer the lockout extends, the more time they have to declare without opposition, "We Are the Champions!" And of course, by declaring without opposition, I do mean sing at the top of your lungs in a German accent.
4. Cleveland Cavalier Fans
Photo courtesy NBA.com
Cleveland Cavalier fans are another group of NBA followers who would prefer the season never start, though their reasoning differs drastically from that of the Dallas fan. Sports teams from the Ohio area in general have been so disappointing as of late that the average Ohioan can't help but hope that the NBA doesn't return so that he or she doesn't have to watch another of their rooting interests go down in flames.
What started with Ohio State's football team losing back-to-back BCS championships (in embarrassing fashion, one might add) followed by the promising but failed efforts of the LeBron-led Cavs, plus "the Decision" and then later "the Vest Scandal" has left the average fan disenchanted with Ohio-related sports teams.
What's that you say? The Browns and Indians aren't any good either? No wonder Cavs fans hope the season never begins. All that about it being better to have loved a team and lost than to never have loved a team at all? Phooey.
3. Television Executives of Any Network Except TNT
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Remember those great times when NBC used to roll out their monster Thursday night lineup of Friends, Frasier and Seinfeld? Yeah, me neither, but I hear they were great times. Point is Thursday night is and always has been a critical chunk of airtime, and behind the power of its Thursday night basketball, TNT was crushing the ratings all of last year.
So what is TNT showing this Thursday instead of early season NBA contests? How does four hours of Law and Order followed by back-to-back showings of Seven Pounds sound? Congratulations, non-TNT networks, for your upcoming victories in the Thursday night time slot.
2. Kobe Bryant Haters
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This is a debatable one because while there are fans who hate Kobe so much that they hope there is no season and sequentially no chance of having to watch Kobe play, there are also those fans who hate Kobe but like to watch him so they can root for him to fail.
I guess I'm counting on the former outweighing the latter, which is unlikely considering the latter appear prone to watching greater amounts of TV, and therefore are likely to weigh more.
As for me, I'm neither a fat or skinny hater. I don't cheer for the Lakers, but I am a respecter of Kobe, my admiration resulting partially from his work ethic and also his late 90s 'fro. Plus, according to reliable source JediChrisProductions over at YouTube, Kobe is a Gangsta!
I know I would've flinched.
1. Tie: David Stern and Billy Hunter
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And who is the No. 1 person who hopes the lockout never ends? Drum-roll...
In honor of the people who can't decide on what to do about the lockout, I chose not to decide on a true winner and instead awarded a tie to both Billy Hunter and David Stern. While each person claims that they want the lockout to end, their actions say otherwise.
We all remember our mom teaching us that actions speak louder than words (this coincidentally, might explain why the NBA suspends players for physical actions such as elbowing a player or making contact with a ref, while disparaging comments are usually met with a mere fine).
But don't worry Stern or Hunter, by all means continue to claim you want the NBA to return while refusing to concede negotiation elements on either side. While the majority of the world despises what you are doing, take comfort in knowing there are at least four groups of people who hope you never end the lockout.