The highest empowerment a parent might feel is the moment when their children are born and they get to give the baby a name.
As you'll see, the majority of these names go way back, some as far back as the late 1800s.
Some are given names, while others are nicknames that just stuck and eventually became what these players were known by on and off the field.
You would have to think most athletes would love to know they're still being chronicled decades, even centuries, after they played their final games—I'm just not so sure this is why they'd want to be remembered.
As I'm sure there are humorous names not in this list, feel free to chime in with others that come to mind.
Born Urbain Jacques Shockor, Urban Shocker spent 13 seasons in the league, playing for the New York Yankees and St. Louis Browns.
The starting pitcher finished his career with 187 wins and a 3.17 ERA before dying just four months after playing his final game.
Having the nickname Johnny Dickshot can make growing up hard enough.
But when you're given the nickname "Ugly" and suddenly find yourself being referred to as "Ugly Dickshot," things can't get any easier.
You wouldn't think the name "Chicken" would be the way to go, but that's what William Van Winkle Wolf went by throughout his 11-year playing career in the late 1800s (one year in major leagues).
As it turns out, little is known about Beer. Not that beer, we all know about that beer.
But apparently in 1910, a player by the name of Beer (see attached link) played 10 games for the Lancaster Lanks of the Ohio State League.
Cal McLish spent seven years in baseball, and while his name wouldn't appear to be anything to give a second thought to, his full name is really a mouthful.
I personally only have one middle name, but apparently McLish's parents took it a step further when giving him a namesake.
His full name: Calvin Coolidge Julius Caesar Tuskahoma McLish.
With one of the most unique names in the league today, Coco Crisp is lucky enough to share his name with a cereal loved by kids and adults.
I can't stake that claim, so I'll just settle for sharing a last name with one of the most popular beers in the country.
Starting pitcher Dennis Ray "Oil Can" Boyd spent 10 seasons in the league, playing for three different teams.
His longest tenure was in Boston, where he won 60 games in eight seasons.
It couldn't have been easy for Dick Pole to introduce himself to teammates as a 19-year-old rookie in the Boston Red Sox organization.
Somewhat of a journeyman, Dickie Thon played for six different teams during his 15 years in the league.
The utility infielder was a career .264 hitter and amassed 1,176 total hits, nearly half with the Houston Astros.
Razor Shines saw limited action as a player in the league with limited duty as a first baseman for the Montreal Expos.
He has surfaced since then, however, most recently as a coach with the New York Mets.
In two seasons with the Atlanta Braves and one with the Florida Marlins, Tim Spooneybarger appeared in under 100 games but did manage a respectable 3.24 ERA while in the league.
From the looks of it, he also tested equipment managers tasked with fitting his name on the back of a jersey.
I don't doubt that many parents out there think their children are wonderful, but Atlanta Braves outfielder Wonderful Monds must've had some excited parents after his birth.
His full name: Wonderful Teriffic Monds
As a Minnesota Twins fan, I vividly remember chanting "BOOOOFF" when Boof Bonser took to the mound.
I also remember feeling lucky my parents opted to go the more traditional route when naming me.
In a career of ups and downs, Dick Padden played for four different major league teams and three different minor league teams in a decade.
He finished his career with a .258 average and .326 on-base percentage in 874 games.
Not to be confused with the dead heads, Ed Head appeared in 118 games (53 starts) with the Brooklyn Dodgers between 1940 and 1946.
He went 27-23 with a 3.48 ERA, but walked almost as many batters as he struck out and would play his final game at age 28.
In one of the shortest careers of players on this list, Shooty Babitt's only season with the Oakland Athletics was 1981.
He appeared in 54 games and drove in just 14 runs in 156 at-bats.
Ten Million is a common number these days when referring to player contracts, but from 1911-16, Ten Million played for a handful of minor league teams in America and Canada.
One of the great enigmas in the game today, Milton Bradley's seemingly constant frustration has disappointed fans in many different cities that expected great things from him.
Maybe he needs to spend more time playing the great board games from the company bearing his name.
While in reality, every name on this list could probably be considered the most random, Cannonball Titcomb seems to stick out more than others.
Titcomb made 63 starts during his career, earning a 30-29 record and 3.47 ERA.
The brother of George and Patsy Tebeau, Pussy Tebeau's career lasted only two games in July of 1895.
Patsy's career was much longer, as he spent 13 seasons with Chicago, St. Louis and Cleveland, where he acted as a player/manager.
One of the more well-known names on this list, Goose Gossage spent 22 seasons in the league playing for nine teams.
The nine-time All-Star's best years were arguably with the New York Yankees, where he was a part of the 1978 World Series championship team.
Pickles Dilhoeffer made his debut with the Chicago Cubs in 1917, but spent his final three seasons with the St. Louis Cardinals, where the catcher batted .245.
Pete LaCock spent nine seasons in the league, but never surfaced as an everyday player. After his career in the majors ended, he played briefly in Japan and has since managed many minor league teams.
He is currently managing a team in Australia.