I recently talked to the little birdy who spoke to the fly on the wall at Valley Ranch. Apparently Tony Romo and Jason Witten have been holding meetings without Terrell Owens knowing. (He's on double secret probation.)
Here is the transcript.
Romo: Hey man, did anyone follow you?
Witten: No, we're good. I hid T.O.'s pills and he's been looking for them ever since.
Romo: So what can we do to piss him off this week?
Witten: I was thinking that maybe Roy and I can run to the same spot as T.O. on a deep drag. I'll lay the wood and Roy can take the pass. We'll blame it on reads!
Romo: Ha, that'd be sweet, but we gotta make it look realistic. Plus T.O. will probably give up at the end of his route.
Witten: True. What if we have Roy run about five yards further than T.O. on the same route, and you can "overthrow" him and hit Roy? Four or five times like that and he might explode right there on the field!
Romo: Ha, that might work. I tried a little of that last week...*ahem*. Hey, if we get any TD's this week, we should go up to him and do T.D. motions with our arms!
Witten: Exactly! Then can I drill him?
Romo: No, we still have to use him as a decoy for the rest of the year. He has to at least be able to stand out there and pretend to run routes.
Witten: Well what if Red Headed Jesus decides to stick to the run this week?
(after a pause) Romo and Witten: Yeah right! Hahahahahaha...
Romo: Hey, did you get T.O. anything for Christmas?
Witten: Yeah. A .45 and some sweat pants!