Around the Horn Is Very Whataburger...God Awful

Danny CarberryContributor IDecember 11, 2008

Howdy, Howdy..!

I'm down in Tyler, TX for work and am enjoying the soothing 60 degree weather down here in the land of Cotton. Tyler is located about two hours southeast of Dallas and is actually the Rose Capital of America...(For You Ladies)

Dallas is actually the home of Dallas Morning News writer Tim Cowlishaw who is seen often on one of my least favorite shows on ESPN, Around The Horn. His favorite sports are Ice Hockey and ughmmmm...NASCAR.

He is known for his signature goatee and his saunter takes on the Dallas Mavericks. He is just another annoying, loud-mouthed sports critic that for some strange reason get convulsed when talking about sports. Besides Rome Is Burning and The Sports Reporters, Around the Horn is completely detestable and eerie to me.

Ironically, I hate talking about sports. It's games that little kids participate in and for too long now, we have tried to quantify our opinions on these "hobbies." We try to be the most articulate or fluent about the latest topics and game theories that are out there.

I prefer to watch my favorite sports, light heart idly and enjoy the calming affect that it's only a game.

There is a reason why the Sports Department within some newspapers has been mockingly called the Toy Department, because sports journalists do not concern themselves with issues that are of relevance. It's sports and it's part of our leisure time.

The worst are the baseball purists. They often like to transcend the game with important soci-political relevance and add a teary backdrop and create how a leather glove and a wooden bat change someones life.

Although, I do have a great remembrance of my dad growing up playing catch with me, it's the time and circumstance, not the sport that brought that amazing memory to be in bedded in my brain. I am not sure if sports should ever have an esteemed place in society? It's something we shouldn't have to be serious about. Ever.

I don't care if athletes use steroids. I think it's funny when athletes ignore the reporters in the locker room for asking dumb questions.

I hate breaking down statistics and think it's absolutely gut-busting when "The Experts" pick scores to football games. Don't get me wrong, I think going to Newhouse and making money talking about sports would be the best job ever. You're not cutting open a body, managing a families investments or sending a criminal to jail. You're reporting on silly games and non-sensible events.

I have never understood why people actually liked hearing Jay Mariotti, Mike Lupica, Colin Cowherd, and Woody Paige. They regurgitate the same rhetoric day in and day out.

Nothing they say is enlightening or indicative. They just scream louder than the next guy and try to prove a non-relevant point. I read more enlightening articles by all the great blogs that focus on Syracuse Athletics, than anything I EVER hear on ESPN, ESPN Radio (Sans The Axeman), or Fox Sports.

Again, don't get me wrong, I would love to have a job talking about sports.

The reason why people trash talk about sports is because they are not playing a sport. I am also not into politics and enjoy my mediocre, non-relevant existence on these topics. I don't ravage through box scores or play fantasy football.

I do think it's cute when people say, Does this writer even know what he/she is talking about? Sports is all about opinions and banter between fans. We watch our favorite players with deep envy and if we can't join them, we talk about them.

I didn't want to come across crude from this and don't really care either way. I will continue to just post generic rants about things that don't matter, like mustaches, shitty beer, and ummmm, sports.

Just an FYI to everyone, Jay Mariotti was the reason I started writing this and thanks to his annoying, pompous ass I have not done any work for the last hour.

Again, don't get me wrong, I would love to have a job talking about sports.


    Iconic Sports Illustrated Writer Deford Dies at Age 78

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    Iconic Sports Illustrated Writer Deford Dies at Age 78

    Tyler Conway
    via Bleacher Report