For once I decided to take a break from adressing the anxieties, disappointments and uncertainties that have plagued the Warriors' fans in the first couple months of this season. In part due to their convincing win against the Thunder, and partly due to my frustration over the perpetual Golden State of Limbo.
In the history of the NBA there have been some truly creative nicknames for its most loved players. It was my original intention to write about the greatest all-time nicknames in the NBA, but I must admit that my NBA knowledge is too shallow to fulfill the lofty expectations of Bleacher Report's readership.
Instead, this article is dedicated to every player that never carried a moniker like "AK-47," "The Mailman," "Wilt the Stilt," "Pistol Pete," or "The Beard." Today, every player (and some coaches) on the Warriors get a nickname (or two) that they can wear with pride. I will admit up front that I did not make up all of these names, and some are well known. If there are any good suggestions in the comments then I will try to add them. Specifically I personally feel that Biedrins has done more than his fair share to earn a title or nickname. Shall we begin?
Don Nelson: "Lord Nellie"
Keith Smart: "KSmart"
Sidney Moncrief: One of my favorite hustle players ever, and a nice guy (I once carried his baggage). Why "Sid the Squid" of course. Since Moncrief grabbed every loose ball with reckless abandon.
Kelenna Azubuike: I favor something simple, like "Kaz." However, he did go to Kentucky, but I doubt he would like to be called "Whiskey Face." His Teammates call him "Buike" (pronounced Buukie).
Marco Belinelli: "Rambo" fits him perfectly. The odds are usually stacked against him anyways.
Andris Biedrins: "Spike," "Beans," and "Laser" all come to mind, but he was given the nickname "Goose" by Jackson and company.
Jamal Crawford: "The Craw" (With complimentary cawing for effect. "Kakaaa!") or "Crawdaddy."
Monta Ellis: "The Greatest Show on Hardwood,""Fastest Man in the NBA," "$6 Million Moped Man," "M8E."
Richard Hendrix: "The Anchorman."
Stephen Jackson: "Stack Jack," "Jax," "Mac Jax," and "Captain Jack."
Steve Kurz: "Kurz and Whey," "Raining Kurz," "Right Kurz, Right Kurz," and my personal favorite, "It's not Kerr! It's KURRRRRZ!"
Corey Maggette: "Maggs," "C-Maggs," and "Uh-Oh Maggette-Ohs."
Anthony Morrow: "2Morrow," "Lil' Jack," and I think he should use "The Rookie" throughout his career until someone breaks his records. Also "A-Mo" from his days at Georgia Tech.
Demarcus Nelson: "DMN," "Prince Nelson," and "The Freak."
Anthony Randolph: "Mean, Lean, and only 19," "The Alien," "The Future," and "Yao Stomper."
Ronny Turiaf: "Blanca" (Based on the Street Fighter character. Thank you Tony.psd), "The Beast," "Dear John" for all of his rejections, and my favorite "The Repo Man."
CJ Watson: "Mini-Paul" and my preference, "The Who?" since he regularly surprises the announcers of other teams.
Marcus Williams: "Dribble me this," and "Doc Williams."
Brandon Wright: "BWright," "Stretch" or "Mr. Stretch," "Mr. Fantastic," and "Dumbo" since his ears help him fly.
There you have it. Every player on the Golden State Warriors gets a nickname to carry with pride (or at least some semblance of pride). This time no one gets left out.
Can you imagine a sportscast using only player monikers? I would watch it. Anyways, I hope the Warriors enjoy their new nicknames.