Dallas Cowboys fans are the phoniest, most fraudulent fans in sports.
These weasels are everywhere. They crawl the streets of New York, infest crevasses throughout Philadelphia, slither through the sewers of Chicago and pollute the air of L.A. It's rare to find a Cowboy fan who is actually connected to Texas.
If you actually are a Cowboys fan from Texas, this doesn't apply to you.
The thing that drives me nuts about Cowboys fans is that they have no sense of loyalty and no concern about crossing the geographical boundaries of other fanbases.
I run into Cowboys fans from time to time in the Philadelphia area. As if that's not bad enough, they always make it worse.
On top of being a punk Cowboys fan, they also like the Lakers, Yankees and any other team that is either successful or trendy.
If you're a man of character, you stick with a team that represents where you are from or you stick with a collective group of teams that do not offer a conflict of interest.
How a Cowboys fan likes the Lakers and Yankees is beyond me. Yankees fans are supposed to hail from the New York area and they inherently hate anything from L.A.
The only way someone can justify being a fan of that combination is to admit that they are a bandwagoner.
Not in the small mind of Cowboys fans, though. It's all about saying their team is a champion without having to suffer through any hardships along the way.
They will say how hard it's been because the Cowboys haven't won a Super Bowl since the 1995 season. Then they turn around and remind us how great the franchise is by pointing out the five Super Bowls Dallas has won.
The comfort of rooting for a winner is all they care about, hence the love for the other notable franchises in other sports.
Talk to a Cowboys fan and ask them about the NBA. Inevitably most of them will admit to liking the Lakers, Heat, Celtics, Knicks or possibly all four. Everything is okay in their mind because without the NBA, they will fall back on Duke, North Carolina, Kentucky or UCLA basketball.
Shift gears and strike up a conversation about the World Series. Most could care less about the Rangers because their flimsy fan support probably resides with the Yankees, Dodgers or Red Sox.
The face-to-face conversation may be too painful, and I know it would be for me, so click on the profile of any Cowboys fan on any website and read the teams they like.
Oh, before you get to the laundry list of bandwagon teams, take notice when they mention how long they've been a fan.
That's the preemptive strike all Cowboys fans take. In anticipation of being called a bandwagon fan, they think everything will be just fine if they tell you the year they sold out.
Too bad Dallas has always been good, so it doesn't matter when you decided to hop on the bandwagon.
And no one cares about the memorabilia you own or wear because it will never cover up who you really are.
Give them a chance, though, because it actually gets funnier.
At some point they will talk about how their fandom started at a young age.
Fine, I get that.
When you're a kid and you're impressionable you gravitate to what is popular and talked about a lot. But at some point, don't you grow up a little bit and realize how strange it is to be a Cowboys fan living in New York, California or any other place thousands of miles away from Texas?
They probably couldn't handle the down years of their local team and like a man with no integrity or character, they weaseled their way over to the Cowboys.
It's annoying. If you're from a major metropolitan area stick with your teams. The Yankees should be more than enough to hold you over during any drought.
Look at Eagles fans for example. Are we better fans and thus better individuals?
I am willing to say well over 70 percent of Eagles fans do not deviate from other Philadelphia teams. If you like the Eagles, you're on board with the Phillies, Sixers and Flyers.
You're a four-for-four guy or girl, even though the teams have combined to win only one championship since 1983.
Can you imagine a Cowboys fan showing that kind of loyalty?