NFL fans, I've got your back. For Halloween, no longer will you have to resort to gimmicky couples costumes or last-minute improvisations.
There are plenty of costume options that can be readied in time for your party that's now less than a week away. The best part is, you don't have to look any further than players around the NFL for inspiration.
Unfortunately, there are 1,696 players on active NFL rosters, and that's entirely too much to sift through. Throw past players into the mix, and you're looking at a near-infinite number.
The good news is, the hard work has been done for you. I've narrowed it down to five simple and eye-catching ideas that will make your search easier as the big day approaches.
A Brett Keisel costume is pretty simple to pull-off. All you need is his jersey, maybe a Steelers hat and a beard to end all beards.
If you aren't gifted with the same genetics to sport such a monumental face sculpture, my suggestion is to pick out a costume of Gimli from Lord of the Rings and use the fake beard that comes with it.
It's a stretch of a comparison, but not by much. Either way, the costume provides the best bet you would have at replicating Keisel's jolly facial expression.
I'm pretty much at a loss for this one.
Somewhere in the combination of Kenny Powers, the Pillsbury Doughboy and Chuckie (both the doll and the Rugrats character) lies Paul McQuistan, a fan-favorite NFL journeyman.
At 6'6" and 315 pounds, the average person will need stilts and a fat suit to complement all of the necessary powdery face makeup and red hair dye if they want to convincingly look like McQuistan.
For a true Halloween edge, find a buddy to do the same costume and be Paul's twin brother Pat, who plays for the New Orleans Saints.
He bears a similar resemblance, but with an added element of Cartman from the episode of South Park entitled "Ginger Kids."
To appropriately capture the image of avid hunter and pass rusher Jared Allen, it's completely necessary to spring for one of those novelty camo jerseys.
And as far as I'm concerned, there are far too many of these in existence. If a player wants his name on the back of a camo jersey, hurling a spear at an elk should be a prerequisite.
As far as I know, that leaves Allen alone on the eligibility list, but I'm OK with that.
The costume wouldn't be finished yet, despite the addition of the jersey. A makeshift spear and a stuffed deer can make for a great prop.
A business-in-the-front and party-in-the-back mullet would also pay tribute to Allen's earlier years, but resort to this only if you're sure you can pull it off.
You won't even need to buy a jersey for this one. All you have to do is apply the best corpse makeup and make yourself look as convincingly dead as possible.
When people ask who you are, just say you're Donovan McNabb's career.
(Other interchangeable names include, but aren't limited to: Terrell Owens, Chad Ochocinco, Carson Palmer and Jason Taylor)
Here's how to accurately portray Rex Grossman while trick-or-treating:
Buy a Grossman jersey from your local retailer (they should be on clearance by now) and ring your neighbor's doorbell.
When he or she puts a treat in your bag, take it out and hurl that mother 70 yards down the street into a pack of trick-or-treaters. It doesn't matter if any of them are open.
When another kid inevitably intercepts it and runs home, that's when you'll know that you've captured the Rex Cannon at his finest.