In the world of college athletics, there’s no substitute for experience and leadership. Countless players around the country have grown from wide-eyed, effervescent true freshmen to grizzled and war-tested seniors. Over the past four or five years, they have bled, sweat, and cried—all in the name of college football.
But now it’s time to say goodbye. As they begin to embark on the next phase of their lives, I take it upon myself to ensure they exit with a little extra recognition
Most Likely to Become an Olympic Diver
Few know the man behind the man. On the surface, Missouri senior placekicker Jeff Wolfert is the Lou Groza Award Semifinalist who is threatening to break the NCAA career record for combined kicks percentage. As of Nov. 10, Wolfert had connected on 222 of 232 field goals and extra points, or 95.7 percent.
But long before the former walk-on’s hidden abilities were thrust to the forefront, Wolfert was busy rocking a Speedo. Originally arriving in Columbia on a diving scholarship in 2004, Wolfert, with a Michael Phelps-like frame (6’2”, 185 lbs.), dominated the board and platform his freshman year, earning all-conference honors.
Best Inebriated College Mascot
It’s no secret being the mascot of a big-time BCS program is a demanding undertaking. Adding to the difficulty of deftly balancing studies with a trying travel schedule are the physical and spiritual demands of willing your team to victory for 12 consecutive weeks. So how can you blame these upstanding citizens for blowing off a little steam now and again?
The answer is, you can’t. But James Sheep took some pregame shenanigans a bit too far. Sheep, the Penn State senior who plays the role of the Nittany Lion mascot, was recently relieved of his duties for the remainder of the season after being arrested on Nov. 22.
Smack dab in the middle of pulling an all-nighter leading up to Penn State’s game with Michigan State, a street-clothed Sheep was pulled over by university police at 3:15 a.m. and later charged with DUI.
Most Likely to Be Confused with Some Sort of Hawaiian Cuisine
If you struggle to pronounce his name, don’t worry about it. You’re definitely not alone. Navy senior quarterback Kaipo-Noa Kaheaku-Enhada couldn’t spell his own name until he reached high school.
Ever since the native Hawaiian took the reigns of the Midshipmen option offense in 2006, announcers everywhere have used caution when calling Kaheaku-Enhada’s number. The fear is that the overabundance of vowels and syllables will trick viewers into thinking the quarterback was named after some kind of radical take on the traditional Island-inspired plate lunch.
Best Suited to Handle His NFL Signing Bonus...in Weight
A 6’3”, 255 lb. hunk of man mass, Texas senior defensive end Brian Orakpo is nothing short of a genetic freak of nature. The weight room stats are alarming: a 515-pound bench press, a power clean that exceeds 380 lbs., and a 40-yard dash timed in the 4.5 second range.
Orakpo came to Austin a relatively light 210 lbs. In the four years since, the Big 12’s premier pass rusher has transformed himself into a surefire first-round pick in next spring’s NFL Draft.
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