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"I Can't Afford To Wax My Chest Anymore" Says Ronaldo

Bela TrimmelCorrespondent IJanuary 8, 2017

With the worlds economies bracing for what is going to be a financially unstable winter, we are learning that even the multi- millionaire footballers of Europe are having hard times.

A group of reporters asked Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo why he seemed sadened despite having won the award for European footballer of the year. His answer was a bit shocking to the press and there were attempts to contain laughter. "It's been a struggle but I cannot afford to have my chest waxed anymore. The lady I go to is loosing customers and she has had to up her prices."

Likewise, his fellow United team mate, Wayne Rooney has been spotted having contractors coming into his Cheshire mansion. Sources closes to the footballer say that he is having to have his garden ripped up again to have the under soil heaters he had put in in 2007.

The sources go on to report that Rooney's are also starting to live a slightly greener lifestyle by replacing all their bulbs with lower light emitting bulbs in an attempt to save on their monthly bills.

Things are just as bad in London.

Chelsea star Didier Drogba is reportedly having to give up the acting lessons that he has been taking since he arrived at the west London side in 2004.

Drogba, who is known for his diving habits, has refused to admit that he had the lessons in the first place but photos have shown him leaving the residence of a known acting coach who has worked in the horror industry, helping actresses learn to fall when running from an assailant.

While is unlikely that we will see footballers digging through the "take a penny-leave a penny" container at the market anytime soon, if the crisis continues, some players may be forced to sell some of their more lavish items and end up driving cars from the early 2000's to practice.

This is a general disclaimer about the article itself. After writing my article on the credit crisis, it made me think about some of the things that footballers would have to give up. This article is by no means true. It is a piece of comedy and hopefully if you are reading it and having a bad day, it brings a smile to your face.

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