WWE Vengeance: 5 Reasons This PPV Might Not Suck
Pictured above: Not one of the 5 reasons Vengeance might be good.
Vengeance is this Sunday and the Internet Wrestling Community is not overly excited about it. Why should they be? This is, after all, the third WWE pay-per-view in the last two months.
The WWE seems to agree with the IWC for once.Just take a look at the Raw Supershow main event last night, the last Raw before the PPV. How was it built up? Good Ol' JR put Michael Cole (quick interjection, am I the only one that thinks Cole is a terrible heel? I don't hate him because it's his goal to be hated. I hate him because he's genuinely annoying and a very good reason to put the TV on mute) in an ankle lock, that's how.
Yes, Cole and JR were little more than cheerleaders for their respective partners for nearly the whole match, but, they started the match and they ultimately finished it.
Cena and Del Rio may have their Last Man Standing match be the finale to Vengeance, but, in my opinion, that does not make it the main event. So, without further ado, here's five reasons Vengeance will be watchable.
#5: Air Boom vs. Guerrero's Goons
Background: Why most people don't care about this match. We've already seen it.
"Air Boom vs. Swagger and Ziggler? You're losing me, Adam. I've seen this before, you even said so in the picture's caption!"
Well, IWC smark, I just made up. I don't like your tone one bit. Give me a chance to explain why this match is important. On the surface, this is a heated (I use that term loosely) rivalry that will follow the template of any other tag team match.
The good guys start strong, the bag guys turn it around, at some point Evan Bourne is going to get isolated and dominated, he'll run and try to make a tag, but, either Swagger or Ziggler will catch him like a child when Air Boom's hands are mere inches apart and pull him back to Team Guerrero's corner. Eventually, though, Bourne gets the tag, Kofi hits his own version of the 5 Moves of Doom.
This is where this match differs: Guerrero will interfere and her Goons end up getting the win.
Still don't think you care about this match? Well, now Nicky from the Spirit Squad (that would be Ziggler, for the uninformed) is a double champion. That's a bit limiting for the future two-times-a-month pay per views. The WWE wants people to be interested in the US Championship and if the guy that holds it can't defend it at a PPV because he's busy in a tag team, the business world would refer to that as "a failure to maximize earning potential." And, seriously, when was the last time Ziggler had to defend his belt?
If only there were SOMEONE in the WWE that is a single's competitor AND a face character AND has been booked strong against both Ziggler and his buddy Swagger.
"ARE YOU SERIOUS, BRO!?" What's that, IWC smark I made up in the beginning of this slide? Zach Rider? Ohhhh that youtube guy that made his own fanbase without WWE's "Creative" team?
That's right. In my not so humble opinion, the Air Boom/Swagger-Ziggler feud is simply a way to give the IWC wonderboy, Zack Ryder, a US title run.
Woo Woo Woo, You Know It, Bro.
#4: Cody Rhodes vs. "The Viper" Randy Orton
This is one feud the WWE did a very good job of building up, so there's not a whole lot I need to add, but for the sake of this slide, not looking as naked as Cody Rhodes (I think it's his lack of knee pads, but, something about his attire makes me uncomfortable). I feel the need to write something here.
It's a classic bout of teacher vs. student. Mentor vs. pupil. Leader vs. follower. Viper vs. guy who thinks he's grotesque and deformed so he wears a transparent mask (clearly the solution, given he looks exactly the same.)
Joking aside, these two have a great in-ring chemistry and should put on a five-star match. They know each other's move set inside and out and with their history, it should be very enjoyable. This feud won't, and shouldn't, end on Sunday. My hope is that this rivalry continues for a good while, with the Intercontinental Championship eventually getting some much needed prestige.
#3: Mark Henry vs. Big Show
Logically, this match won't be spectacular. The reason both of these guys are huge, figuratively, is their ability to manhandle their smaller opponents and throw them around in the ring. Remove that element and what you're left with is Godzilla vs. King Kong, minus the destruction of Japan.
The thing we all know, however, is that the WWE is rarely, if ever, logical. These two should put on a match that should be very watchable, but, the best element here is the storyline. Remember, Mizark was seen as a joke right until Big Show punched him in the skull and lit the proverbial fire under his (not sure how B/R feels about mild profanity in their articles, so I'll leave this blank for you guys to fill in the comment section below.)
Since Big Show's return a few weeks ago, he's gotten the better of the monster he himself created. His dreadlock-combover Frankenstein, if you will. This feud should stretch nicely, with Henry getting the win over Big Show at Vengeance, but, Big Show taking the title in the future.
#2: CM Punk and HHH vs. Awesome Truth
The involved athletes here (SPOILER: I specified "athletes" because of the No. 1 slide) are all great wrestlers, with three out of four being former WWE Champions, and at least two of the participants are sure to return to the main event picture in the foreseeable future.
These guys all benefited from CM Punk's shoot in one way or another: Punk won the WWE Spinner Belt that doesn't spin while ending a year-long PPV losing streak, HHH ended up becoming COO of the company, and Miz and R-Truth went from not having matches at all on PPVs to becoming deeply entrenched in the WWE's hottest current storyline.
The fact is, even though there's a lot of parallels between these characters, these guys don't like each other one bit. Awesome Truth were fired by HHH for assaulting referees and in turn came back to cost both Punk his shot at the WWE Championship and HHH his job running Raw. Great wrestlers with a great storyline is always a wonderful formula for a great match.
The only issue I have with this match is that I seriously doubt it will have a clean ending, and while that disappoints me, it doesn't deter my belief that this will be a five-star match and the best of the night.
"The best match of the night!? Then what does that leave for the No. 1 slide?" Oh, invented IWC smark, you continue to underestimate me. You should know by now my logic is undeniable.
#1: Johnny Ace's "Higher Power"
Pictured on the right: Your WWE Raw General Manager. I won't blame you if you cry now.
John Laryngitis (that's how his name is spelled, right?) is a tool and a mouthpiece. The conspiracy is alive and well. Johnny Ace is a puppet whose strings are being pulled by an anonymous entity on the other side of his cell phone.
I'm not making the admission that at Vengeance we'll find out who this ingenious puppetmaster/shady-texter may be, but, if the WWE doesn't start dropping us some hints at their identity, this storyline is doomed to walk the path of the anonymous Raw GM (maybe they're the same person!) People will lose interest and eventually just accept that the cell phone is running Raw.
With many WWE Legends rumored to make returns, everyone from Undertaker to Chris Jericho to Mick Foley to Stone Cold, it only makes sense that one of them be the one that has Laurinaitis in their back pocket. Again, we won't find out who it is, but, if this storyline can survive, they need to start throwing us a line.
Credit: Rzr316 of deviantart.com
Though the WWE didn't build this pay-per-view as they should have, it won't suck. Or maybe it will, I dunno.
BUT, I can assure you that this PPV will do a good job furthering some storylines. Well.... maybe assure is a bit too strong of a word...
"QUIT WAFFLING, ADAM"
You know, invented IWC smark, the bottom line is you'll have to tune in on Sunday and see for yourself, there is truly some potential for a very good PPV. Also, no one says waffling, invented jerk.