Dear God, Why Do You Hate Buffalo So Much?

Matt James by Contributor Written on December 04, 2008
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Digging deep into my own mind I have searched for answers, read countless articles, wrote several gibberish articles, wept into a dish of blue cheese struggling for answers as to the current climate of Buffalo sports.

Both the Bills and the Sabres are written about on this blog and read probably by only people devoted to the teams and the city.  I'm beating a dead horse but the only reasonable explanation to this misery is that God hates Buffalo!

I haven't lived in Buffalo since 1995 when I left for college but I spent the greatest 18 years of my life in the suburbs playing football, little league, riding bikes, eating Mighty Taco.  These activities were always safe and always enjoyable.  I was treated like a family everywhere I went. 

I live on the ocean and I have brushed snow off my car about twice a year on average.  It was sometime during my stint on the shoreline watching Buffalo, NY from afar when I realized that it has little to do with geography rather a higher power severely dislikes the Buffalo region.

This is the only way the Bills and the Sabres could never win.  We have been blessed with many talented athletes and opportunities for big games but have never been able to capitalize.  In short here's the rest of my proof...

1. Norwood, money kicker but not when it counted.

2. Sabres 1999 season that ended with a legit Brett Hull goal, which over the years I can just now admit it was a good one.

3. Playing Miami in December, in Toronto, in a dome.  Yuck!

4. So much snow that it's hard to think I learned to drive in two icy tire trails on every road.  By the way Buffalo, the rest of the world shuts down when this happens.  Not Buffalonians!

5. Bars are open until four in the morning.  Hint, this is God sabotaging you!  I fell for and continue to whenever I get back home.

6. Our brilliant native son, host of "Meet the Press," and only nationwide Bills advocate that isn't Chris Berman was taken away from us far too early.  Miss you Tim!

7. Lake Effect Snow.

8. Derek Roy's outside/inside move that never works.

9. Genny Cream Ale.

It's too painful to continue but you can see the evidence.  I'd be willing to bet that God may retract some of his wicked rage if he ever went to Jim's Steak Out at three in the morning.

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written on December 04, 2008 Humor

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