WWE Opinion: Is John Laurinaitis the Worst Non-Wrestling Character of All Time?

In an era that is becoming more and more compromised of Vince McMahon's slow-burning deterioration of wit, WWE RAW has returned to the heel GM-dominated RAW. 

Among many questionable calls in shaping the fabric of the WWE's flagship, Vince McMahon has featured the painfully uninviting John Laurinaitis as the show's main villain. 

Laurinaitis' raspy and monotonous announcement of an already uninteresting main event for Vengeance this past week on RAW was so deadpan that I was waiting for him to follow it up by saying both participants were involved in a horrible car accident. 

The artist formerly known as Johnny Ace's terrible performances on television brings about memories of similarly poor television characters who have the comparatively simple task of talking up a product, wrestler or storyline while the wrestlers beat their bodies into the ground. 

10. The Anonymous RAW GM

This gimmick had promise, however, after weeks of constant interference with no end in sight, the anonymous RAW GM became more of a tired annoyance than a platform for a potentially intriguing payoff.  

What's worse is that there has been no payoff to this angle to date as it was dropped cold, so fans had to sit through those annoying alert sounds, and the subsequent lifeless Michael Cole announcements, for nothing. 

9. Dixie Carter

Dixie Carter is new to the whole TV personality thing, let alone the personality thing, and it shows.  Carter always comes across as nervous and has no connection with live audiences whatsoever, which mimics her relationship with the pulse of professional wrestling in general. 

It appears as if TNA is gearing up for yet another Dixie Carter TV run, so hopefully she'll be more seasoned this time around, but I wouldn't hold my breath. 

8. Vince Russo

Always a pro wrestling pariah, Vince Russo was just as bad in front of a camera as he was behind it.

Despite a natural flare and charisma, Russo always became a personification of the same outlandish, asinine ideas that have served as poison for pro wrestling promotions.

This is only fair as Russo has written a countless amount of ridiculous storylines and gimmicks for others to portray, much to their own detriment. 

7. Hulk Hogan in TNA

Hulk Hogan's wrestling days are behind him, and although he will step in the ring for a special attraction match against Sting at Bound for Glory, he has been rendered a shell of himself alongside Eric Bischoff every week on Impact Wrestling. 

Hogan's inclusion of a power struggle storyline, that has already run its course twice, blends together in an array of cheesy drama that doubles as the television equivalent to wallpaper. 

6. Linda McMahon

It's obvious where the McMahons got their charisma and star power from, and it sure as heck wasn't Linda. 

Known for a wooden delivery that helped do her in during her once-promising Senate Run in 2010, Linda McMahon took away from any segment she was ever apart of during her days as the WWE CEO both on and off camera. 

McMahon has since sworn off of WWE programming in order to focus on her political career, but it's not like anybody is pining for an imminent return unless Vince starts throwing his feces earlier than expected. 

5. Michael Cole

The Michael Cole character was once a must-watch, must-hate heel who was one of the few WWE "bad guys" who got the right kind of heat, you know?  Where you legitimately wanted to see him get beat up?

Since being relegated back to the ranks of a straight-up announcer, Cole has returned to his role as an over-produced, under-talented announcer, who carries out the bidding of Vince McMahon as the chairman sits backstage feeding him unproductive lines through a headset.

Adding unneeded tension and an unmistakable tightness to the announcing booth, Team McMahon (Cole, Vince) intentionally makes everyone with the displeasure of sharing a booth with the two biggest egos currently in the WWE (Cole, Vince) worse. 

The play-by-play announcer is supposed to be the lead pitch man for an entertainment company's product, and likability goes a long way in fans buying into the constant promotion and advertising carried out by this individual.

So it should come as no surprise that, during the Michael Cole RAW era, ratings have hit historic lows, and the WWE's business continues to erode quickly enough to keep pace with that of Vince McMahon's similarly disintegrating sanity. 

4. Hornswoggle

Hornswoggle will have his occasional match here and there, but for the most part, he is a non-wrestling personality and one who never seems to add anything positive to a broadcast. 

Sure, the kids love him, but there's a fine line between being kid-friendly and being crappy television and, the WWE jumps over that line like Anju Bobby George.

As a life-long Muppet's fan, Hornswoggle will figure to be involved in the show-killing Muppet's segments set to be delivered to reluctant wrestling fans come Halloween night.  As if those segments will need any help being terrible. 

3. Bubba the Love Sponge

At times it can be difficult to tell whether one is getting "go-away" heat or "heel" heat.  Go look at any given Bubba the Love Sponge appearance on TNA, and a proper go-away gauge can be established as Bubba is the father grandfather of go-away heat. 

BTLS was featured on TNA programming during the inception of the Hogan-Bischoff era as a direct result of the "Hogan's Heroes" concept.  This concept depicts Hogan's notoriety for bringing his cronies aboard a wrestling ship and effectively sinking it with under their immense weight and lack of talent. 

Shortly after his debut, Bubba was released by TNA for comments he made about Haiti on his controversial radio show, but not before getting woman-handled by Kia Stevens.  

2. Mike Adamle

In show business, they say, "If you nail your opening line, and the rest will come easy."  Unfortunately, during his first appearance on WWE programming, Mike Adamle infamously called the then-white-hot babyface Jeff Hardy by the name of "Jeff Harvey" during the 2008 Royal Rumble in Madison Square Garden. 

Poor Mike seemed like such a nice guy, he just didn't know a thing about wrestling.  In fact, Adamle's lack of knowledge about the WWE product got so bad that it became part of his gimmick for a while on commentary. 

Due to an inflated salary that the WWE felt they had to justify, Adamle was promoted to the on-camera GM, where he flopped even harder (although he did give us the Championship Scramble, which I found neat.) 

Adamle's fate was sealed when he was forced to resign on an episode of RAW and was later released from his contract. 

1. John Laurinaitis

John Laurinaitis' low likability factor, lack of charisma and absent star power all combine in a perfect storm of unwatchable television.

If the plan is for him to become the star of RAW, then I want nothing to do with the sky. 

Once a failed wrestler under the name Johnny Ace, the aptly named Showkiller can now claim ownership of the elusive Triple Crown of Ineptitude. 

Along with being a nothing-happening wrestler, Laurinaitis also oversaw a period of mass exodus of World Champions whom he failed to keep under contract as Executive VP of talent Relations from 2009 to present day.

It's worth noting that once upon a time under the Jim Ross VP regime, Brock Lesnar, Randy Orton, John Cena, Batista, and Shelton Benjamin were all housed under WWE's developmental system. 

Throw in Laurinaitis proving his worth (or lack thereof) as a black hole of a television character, and the ground is the limit for this television disaster whose detrimental aspects are rivaled only by that of Michael Cole's.