Rafael Nadal Et Al: What They Said, Really Meant and Definitely Did Not

Rafael Nadal, Victoria Azarenka, Alfonso Thomas, Anil Kumble and Shoaib Akhtar all make appearances in this edition of "What They Said, Really Meant and Definitely Did Not."

Rafael Nadal goes bananas over instant noodles.

Azarenka paradoxically craves silence from Chinese spectators in Beijing.

Anil Kumble vigorously defends his untenable position in a conflict of interest controversy.

Shoaib Akhtar has harsh words for Australian Matthew Hayden.

And Alfonso Thomas rues the riches of the IPL.

Rafael Nadal Goes Native in Japan

What He Said:

“It’s not just noodles—I’ve had teppanyaki, I’ve been to the fish market. Whatever country in the world we play in we always look for Japanese food.”

World No. 2 Rafael Nadal denies that he’s solely a Japanese noodle sampler. The Spaniard was spotted slurping instant noodles prior and post his matches at the Japan Open. The Mallorcan also slipped freebies into his bag.

Nadal added:

“Maybe 30 percent of nights when we go for dinner around the world we eat Japanese food.”

What He Really Meant:

“I’m no noodle brain. I can grill, as well.”

What He Definitely Didn’t:

“A celebratory dinner of teriyaki and teppanyaki followed by sake should I defend my title here.”

Victoria Azarenka Seeks Respectful Silence from Spectators

What She Said:

“I would love people to be a bit more respectful and turn off their cell phones and just come and watch tennis and respect that players are doing their job.”

Belarussian World No. 4, Victoria Azarenka, is turned off by noisy spectators and their mobile phones during her second round victory over Slovakia’s Polona Hercog at the China Open in Beijing.

Azarenka, along with Maria Sharapova, is one of the worst offenders when it comes to grunting and shrieking on court among current tennis divas.

What She Really Meant:

“You should put those cell phones in silent mode and just take pictures or videos of me. Let me take care of the decibel levels. That’s my job, isn’t it? Isn’t that what you turn up for? Grunty Azarenka!”

What She Definitely Didn’t:

“Now, if I could just discover my 'silent mode‘.”

Shoaib Akhtar ‘Rats Out’ an Australian Elephant

What He Said:

“If one could make up one’s body with steroids, I would turn a rat into an elephant. But I’d advise Hayden to take some steroid that could make him look better. Good answer? Give him this answer.”

Pakistan cricket’s infant terrible, Shoaib Akhtar, reacts to Australian Matthew Hayden’s allegation that he built up his body with steroids.

The speedster was in the spotlight following the release of his autobiography, “Controversially Yours.”

What He Really Meant:

“Now, if Hayden were following his former teammate Shane Warne, he’d discover that Estee Lauder facials and creams are more efficacious than drugs.”

What He Definitely Didn’t:

“You can call me 'Red Bull’ Akhtar.”

Anil Kumble Is No ‘Gandhian’

What he said:

“I don’t see any conflict of interest here. The positions with the KSCA and NCA are honorary jobs, and I have to look after myself. At this stage of my career, I have to do that. Otherwise, you’d have to become like Gandhi and give up everything.”

Anil Kumble is the third Indian ex-cricketer—after Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri—targeted by current affairs magazine, Outlook India,in its  latest issue for an alleged conflict of interest.

Kumble is  director and owner of  player management firm, Tenvic. He is additionally president of the Karnataka State Cricket Association (KSCA) , chairman of the National Cricket Academy and mentor to IPL franchise, Royal Challengers Bangalore. In the latter three capacities, the former leg-spinner could favorably influence the fortunes of his Tenvic wards.

What He Really Meant:

“I’m not well-versed in perception management. Besides, Gandhi was no cricketer. No real comparison there. N Srinivasan's my guru.”

What He Definitely Didn’t:

 “Money, Money, Money. It’s a rich man’s world.”

Alfonso Thomas Wishes on a Pollard

What he said:

“At that point of the game, we normally have a guy called Pollard coming in for us, but unfortunately he was playing for the other team.”

Somerset captain Alfonso Thomas harps on his wishbone—in vain—pointing out the unavailability of key players like Kieron Pollard when they are also part of  IPL teams. Somerset succumbed to Mumbai Indians in the semis of the Champions League T20. Pollard turned out for the IPL side.

What he really meant:

“An arm and a leg (or a million or two) for Kieron Pollard in my squad.”

 What he definitely didn’t:

“Game-changers like Pollard are a dime-a-dozen.”