Pacman, Plaxico, Favre and Vick: Save The Drama, Give Me Football

Michael MillerCorrespondent IDecember 2, 2008

I don't watch soap operas. Daily, however, I get bombarded by an endless array of updates concerning football players and their personal lives.

I don't care what Plaxico was drinking when he pulled a Cheddar Bob. I don't want to hear his slimy manager tell Kornhieser that he can't discuss what happened. I don't need to know what time it was when he was picked up by the cops.

He shot himself, end story. My only question is will he play?

When it's the off season, I don't need to know that Brett Favre retired, came-back, retired again, talked to the Dolphins, ate fried okra for lunch, wants to play for Green Bay, can't, goes vacationing in the Bahamas, and finally, the only real news to report: He's gonna play in New York so Jets fans can chant J-E-T-S BRETT BRETT BRETT on kickoffs.

And, thank God he came back because my mom was all broken up when he left.

I know the guy will be in the Hall of Fame someday, but do I need to know his favorite color is teal? No.

I watch Sportscenter—a lot.

What I really want is analysis. There is one place to get loads of it, (shameless promotional plug) the show is called NFL Matchup. Ron Jaworski and friends analyze, I mean analyze football.

They analyze plays, players, coaches, schemes and techniques. They talk about who has a rocket arm, who is losing a step, who hits hard and who the bums are. They discuss what is done well, what is played out, what needs improvement and why.

And then Sportscenter comes on.

I regress from the edge of my seat as I learn that Michael Vick doesn't get special privileges while locked up. Whoa there chief! I'm not sure I can handle all this at once!

At least it was Erin Andrews breaking the "news" this time. Man-O-Man

This might be a good time to insert this:

Click the link; you'll thank yourself.

So, I'm watching Sportscenter and learning all the nuances of Pacman Jones' life. The guy is a scumbag. I mean what else can you say? The guy is a scumbag.

I know he's a scumbag, I really want to know what he plays like. Can I get some analysis of his efforts on the field? I mean real analysis, not "He sometimes struggles on an island" with a short clip of him gettin' habachi'd by...whoever.

I just hope you get some local shows giving up some real analysis. I live in Colorado so I get Pro Football Sports Summit and Jay Cutler Live: both offer some okay analysis, which I put up with because it's all Broncos, all the time. I gotta get my fix somewhere, and ESPN falls short.

Give me the good stuff ESPN. Save the small talk for the dinner tables. You are the professional analysts here, but somehow I get better material from the bleachers (woot woot). Get off the fence and give me some honest opinions.

Come On Man!