Top 3 NBA Players at Each Position: Deluxe Edition

"Man. Sang, what is up with you?" asks my subconscious, which is weird because I always thought the subconscious wasn't supposed to make conscious statements.

But still it continues, "You promised a weekly column and here you are, two weeks later. Your mama taught you better than this."

Hey now, subconscious, you can belittle my lateness all you want, but you leave our mama outta this.

Semi-psychotic self-dialogue aside, I really should get going with this week's rankings.

Point Guards

1. Chris Paul, New Orleans Hornets (No Move)

Stats: 20.3 ppg, 11.6 apg and 52.2 percent shooting.

Chris Paul is getting too damn good for the half-assed nickname "CP3." That's just a blatant copying of Chris Bosh's equally dreadful "CB4." These aren't nicknames, people, they're initials. I propose Chris Paul henceforth to be called Pope Paul the Third.

2. Tony Parker, San Antonio Spurs (No Move)

Stats: 23.9 ppg, 6.1 apg and 55 percent shooting.

Was there a drop off in production since last time? Slightly. Was he also injured? Slightly. Was he still Napoleon reincarnate, the little general leading a battle-weathered army as they slash and burned across the countryside? Most definitely.

*Note* I know the guys been injured, but he also impressed me the last two games prior to writing this. Was I blind with awe? No. Okay, yes.

3. Jose Calderon, Toronto Raptors (No Move)

Stats : 13.1 ppg, 9.6 apg and 44.5 percent shooting.

You're a lucky man, Mr. Cal-dah-ron. I threw down the gauntlet last time for another point guard to step up, but none of them were apparently reading my article (the bastards). Mr. Cal-dah-ron certainly has some mighty impressive stats, but he's falling flat where it matters most—winning. The Raptors are far from meeting expectations.

The Departed : Nobody.

If anyone reading this knows Jason Kidd, could you ask him to ask Mark about some, um, 'tips' on the stock market? And Devin Harris or Chauncey Billups? I'm gonna hook you guys up with a spot if you can prove you can sustain those insane numbers by the next time I write an article.

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