Thanksgiving: Lessons In Giving Thanks and Turkey Hunting

Say the word Thanksgiving and most people conjure up specific images of Turkey Day. Some of those things are family gatherings, pumpkin pie, the Macy’s Day Parade, or an afternoon with the Cowboys and Lions (I know, ugh indeed…but at least Matt Millen is gone).

But what is Thanksgiving really about, you ask? 

From where I sit, the day stands out for two very different reasons: truly giving thanks for who and what you have in your life…and turkeys. So with that in mind, let’s take a trip around the sports world and check out who’s giving thanks and who is a turkey.

Giving Thanks:

• Boston Red Sox fans: Finally, an off-season that doesn’t involve the Manny Ramirez saga. That show was canceled when network executive Theo Epstein pulled the plug this past July at the trading deadline. And fear not Red Sox Nation, even though Manny is a free agent, the only way he’ll be playing for the local nine again is in re-runs.
• The Atlanta Falcons: The organization, that was ruined after Michael Vick traded in his shoulder pads for a cot and three squares a day, discovered the pot at the end of the rainbow was franchise quarterback rookie Matt Ryan.
• Mark Teixeira:  The cream of the crop of this year’s free agent class is about to strike it rich…very rich! Congratulations MT, you’re officially recession proof!
• Jeff Gordon: Hey Jeff, how’s your investment in owning part of the number 48 car? Yeah, we thought so. Of course, having Jimmie Johnson behind the wheel and Chad Knaus calling the shots doesn’t hurt either. Anyone smelling four in a row for JJ?
• Myron Rolle: Has anyone put the “student” in “student-athlete” better than the current Rhodes Scholarship winner/Florida State safety? Rolle certainly has quite the difficult choice to make. Take the scholarship or go in the first round of this year’s NFL draft. No matter which option he chooses, it’s nice to hear about a college athlete making positive headlines off the field.
• Roger Federer: Since capturing his first Grand Slam title at the 2003 Wimbledon, the ATP Tour wasn’t Federer’s personal play ground this past season largely in part due to rival Rafael Nadal. The Spaniard took Federer’s No. 1 world ranking, destroyed him in the French Open final, and halted his run of five straight Wimbledon championships.  Amid talk of his decline, Federer rebounded nicely by capturing the Olympic gold medal in doubles and winning his fifth straight U.S. Open in September. The Express now holds 13 Grand Slam titles and is poised to break Pete Sampras’ all time record of 14 this year. Buy your tickets to Wimbledon and the U.S. Open now.
• Matt Cassell: While no player or fan likes to see any athlete suffer a season-ending injury (well, maybe Philly fans…but let’s hope the World Series title mellowed them), Tom Brady’s ACL tear in the first game of the season paved the way for Cassell to show that he can still chuck around the pig skin with the best of them. After sitting behind Heisman trophy winners Carson Palmer and Matt Leinart at USC and then donning clip board duties as Brady turned himself into one of the best quarterbacks ever, Cassell has earned himself a huge payday when his contract with New England is up because quality starting QBs are as coveted in the NFL as starting pitching is in baseball.
• Roy Williams: OK, if I’m him, I’m pinching myself about ten times a day, every day. First off, he coached at Kansas for 15 years and led the Jayhawks to four Final Fours. If that wasn’t enough, then he landed the North Carolina coaching gig, reached two more Final Fours, and finally won that elusive NCAA championship.  But that wasn’t quite adequate, so last off season Tyler Hansbrough didn’t even declare for the NBA Draft and Ty Lawson, Danny Green, and Wayne Ellington all pulled their names out of the draft. Throw in a top five recruiting class and the Heels are the heavy favorites to cut the nets down this season.
• Paul Pierce:  The Truth, off of last year’s NBA championship and with a little help from KG, Ray Allen, and company, demonstrated to the rest of the league what the fans in Boston have known for quite some time. Pierce is one of the best players in the world. Don’t believe that? Go ask Kobe Bryant.
• Michael Phelps:  Eight events, eight Olympic gold medals. This is his world.  We’re just swimming in it.

Turkeys: 

• The GM that signs Manny Ramirez: Look, we all know exactly how this will play out. Some GM will fall in love with Manny’s all-universe ability to strike a baseball and overpay him. Scott Boars will get his commission, Manny will come out of the gate gang busters, and then sometime around the 2009 All Star break, we’ll have our first incident of Manny Being Manny. Caveat emptor.
• Allen Iverson: What’s the saying about a leopard never changing his spots?  Iverson skipped practice…again…and appropriately enough, on Turkey Day. Seriously, you couldn’t script this better. Would someone please tell this guy that there are ten million unemployed people in this country right now, he plays a kids sport for a living, gets paid millions of dollars to do so, and he can’t even go to practice? I do realize “we’re talking about practice,” but come on.  Iverson’s contract is up at the end of the season. Maybe he and Manny can sign up to play for teams in the same city next year.
• Hank Steinbrenner: The Yankees last won a World Series in 2000 (that groan you heard was from a few million Cubs fans) and the Baby Boss has had enough. Armed with a few gajillion dollars burning a hole in his vault, Hank has already offered C.C. Sabathia and is prepared to pursue Derek Lowe and A.J. Burnett as well. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Didn’t New York learn from the failures of the past eight seasons that big ticket free agents are NOT the way to restock your team? While pitching is paramount to winning, signing a plethora of free agents will rob the Bombers of precious draft picks to restock their farm system and that will lead to few and far Joba Chamberlains.
• Jerry Jones: OK, let’s review the roster. Tank Johnson? Check.  Pacman Jones? Check. Let me guess, next on Jones’ To Do list is spring Michael Vick and O.J. Simpson. If the Cowboys medical staff can heal Simpson’s knees, then Dallas, will have the dream back field to run the option.
• Daryl Gross: While Gross finds himself on the turkey list, he should be thankful that the Syracuse football faithful aren’t the ones calling the shots on his employment status. The Greg Robinson Era at Syracuse, which draws to a conclusion this Saturday at Cincinnati, has been a disaster. The cupboard isn’t totally bare as there is some good, young talent on the Orange roster but given the size of the Carrier Dome crowds the past few years, the pressure is on Gross to hit a homerun with this hire.
• LSU Tigers football fans: OK, we get it. You don’t like Nick Saban.  But really, let go of the hate. While Saban is coaching rival Alabama now, he left LSU for an NFL shot. Can you blame him? The man did win a national title for LSU in 2003 and current coach Les Miles won another in 2008. Life’s been good for Tiger fans so the next time Saban and the Tide roll into town, just cheer for your team.
• Stephon Marbury: So the story here is that Marbury is, yet again, being a selfish, disruptive teammate by refusing to play for the Knicks for the second time in six days. Wow, that’s never happened before. He obviously doesn’t like the treatment from new coach Mike D’Antoni but at $20.8 million this season, you figure Steph could deal with it. Marbury couldn’t make it work in Minnesota with Kevin Garnett so what do Paul Pierce and Ray Allen know that he doesn’t?  To paraphrase George Costanza, “hey Steph, the jerk store called and they’re all out of you!”
• The BCS: Yet another BCS mess is brewing. Texas hammered Texas A&M by a score of 49-9 (style points anyone?) yesterday so Bob Stoops, your serve. Should Oklahoma pass the Longhorns in the BCS standings and get a title shot after Texas beat the Sooners in the regular season, what better excuse for people like me to write an article about the BCS.

• Charlie Weiss:  As Notre Dame heads into Saturday’s tilt at USC, which is sure to be an exhibition in offensive prowess for the Trojans, the Irish have managed to obtain bowl eligibility by the skin of their teeth.  ND has managed to compile a record of 6-5 against a schedule that has an overall record of 64-71.  Not exactly the SEC or Big 12 South. Included on their schedule are San Diego State, Michigan, Washington, and Syracuse. Those four teams have won a total of eight games. Here’s the rub: Starting with 2006, Weis’ first full season of recruiting, Notre Dame’s class rankings have been number five, 11, and two according to recruiting service Scout.com.  And so far this season, Scout has ND ranked at number ten. Given the lack of success on the field, this certainly stands to be an off-season worth watching in South Bend.

• Clay Bennett:  Here’s a man who shouldn’t be expecting too many holiday cards sent from the Seattle area this December. Bennett, as you may recall, bought the Seattle Supersonics. When he couldn’t get public funding for an arena, he took his ball and went home. Or in this case, he moved the team to Oklahoma City, thus killing basketball in the Emerald City. Now, I understand the financial benefits that cities receive from having professional sports franchises but I am bewildered when owners can spend hundreds of millions of dollars to buy these teams and then have the audacity to demand that taxpayer money be used to repair or construct their facilities.  If that isn’t the epitome of greed, then I’m not sure what is.

Gobble gobble!