2011 Rugby World Cup: Why the United States of America Is a Joke

Jo-Ryan SalazarSenior Analyst ISeptember 27, 2011

The look of failure...perpetual failure.
The look of failure...perpetual failure.Mark Kolbe/Getty Images

Now before I became a featured columnist for Bleacher Report, I was a webmaster for Long Beach State's rugby team, which played Division I ball at the time before they dropped to Division II due to poor quality. I asked the manager of that team what he thought of the University of California and he declared that they were garbage. I figured that was out of jealousy because when it comes to XVs, the only team in America that can do it right is Cal.

So with that said, it's time for the USA to come to terms with the foregone conclusion that was dealt by a country that would most likely wipe the floor us in the world game, a code we're better at.

The USA simply sucks at rugby union. Yes, you heard it first. The United States of America will now have to qualify through the same old repechage with no marked improvements in its already-comatose game after losing to the Italians—of all teams—27 to 10 in Nelson, New Zealand.

Why is it that the USA is terrible at the code that spawned its own brand of football that requires helmets and pads, and has scores in the form of touchdowns rather than tries?

I mean, sure, the USA is investing in the sevens game with all the universities fielding a team in the inevitable reality that rugby sevens, the bastardized version of XVs, will be an NCAA sport in the next decade.

But even the likes of Kenya, whose association football team is just as good as the Philippines, if slightly better, can beat the USA in rugby sevens.

I think USA Rugby is not investing hard enough to make rugby union relevant in this country. I fearlessly predict that for the next century we will remain a Tier Two country, barring an act of God, also known as the worst decision imaginable by the International Rugby Board.

Do the right thing and stick to pointyball, you two. You disgraced the States yet again.
Do the right thing and stick to pointyball, you two. You disgraced the States yet again.Shaun Botterill/Getty Images

IRB, please do not promote USA Rugby to the likes of Tier One. They will be never be worthy of joining the echelon of a few countries that can actually play the game right.

Yes, a few. I mean, the only teams that can play decent rugby internationally are the Six Nations Teams, the Tri-Nations Teams which will become Four Nations when Argentina comes aboard, the Pacific Islands countries of Tonga, Samoa and Fiji, and both Japan and Canada. That's it.

The USA can't even beat Canada in rugby union on a frequent basis. It's pretty pathetic. And the Cherry Blossoms now have the Eagles' number, adding salt to the wounds of an already-suffering rugby fan base here in the States.

Forget about the already-meaningless victory over Russia. The Cold War ended ages ago. I am still confounded as to why the media even bring that up. Russia, like the USA, should not even have a rugby team. Stick to sports you're actually good at, like ice hockey and figure skating.

In conclusion, USA Rugby has proven to be a joke time and time again when it comes to competing at the Rugby World Cup, and it was more of the same on Tuesday night in Nelson.

And with the next Rugby World Cup coming to a country that doesn't even have a Tier One team in Japan, who would be a fool to think that will change?