5 Obnoxious Commercials During Week 2 of the NFL

Basil SpyridakosContributor IIISeptember 21, 2011

5 Obnoxious Commercials During Week 2 of the NFL

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    Lazy NFL Sundays are an American staple. Nothing beats loafing on the couch and enjoying a competitive football game on your big screen TV.

    Only one thing can get in the way of an exciting football game: commercials.

    DVR's a brilliant device, but watching a game live is the quintessential way to view a football game. The DVR should only be used for emergencies; like a friends wedding (who gets married on a Sunday during the NFL season?).

    If your beer's full, bladder's empty and Fantasy score hasn't moved – watching the commercials is kind of binding.

    Here are the Top Five Most Obnoxious Commercials from week two of the NFL.

Allstate Commercial with Dean Winters as "Mayhem"

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    These commercials are atrocious.

    Dean Winters portrays an attractive jogger or referee escaping the stadium from an angry mob, except we don't actually see the jogger.

    We see Winters as a beat-up, unkempt lunatic who drives through fences or nearly gets hit by a speeding car.

    Usually, he's the reason for every accident taking place, whether it's someone driving into a tree or a "millionaire" pouring espresso on their lap then getting rear-ended.

    Is their a lesson with any of these commercials? Winters looks creepy, talks like he's Jack Bauer, and is the catalyst for every mishap taking place.

    I guess that's why he's considered "Mayhem."

    Clever, Allstate. Naming him Anarchy or Confusion didn't want any of that?

    I'm not inclined to switch my insurance because I see some knucklehead stirring up trouble. It actually influences me to change the channel and wonder who comes up with this nonsense.

Jennifer Lopez and Her Fiat

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    Can't say I don't enjoy watching Jennifer Lopez and her "assets" dance to a horrible tune, but characterizing and representing an Italian death-trap doesn't sit well with me.

    The Fiat 500 looks like a sweet whip – for a 16-year-old girl.

    And why are hundreds of people gathering about and stalking J. Lo? Is she handing out free coupons?

    Gawking at Lopez' newly single body and toned legs isn't something to really complain about, but after watching it for the hundredth time, it's annoying.

    J. Lo gets a B-plus.

    Fiat gets an F.

"Unmanly" Miller Lite Commercials

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    First off, why does anybody care what someone's drinking?

    These are the same losers that brag about how many beers they've consumed in an hour, and also shoot hilarious lines like, "Do you work in a hospital? Because you've been nursing that beer!"

    BURN!

    No, jerk – I'm relaxing with my friends, enjoying a drink and watching the game. Why the hell do you care?

    Insecure tools with nothing better to complain about feel the need to harass others.

    Second, I completely get that ragging on your boy for wanting to go to the men's room together is totally warranted. If I saw my friend crying at the airport because he was going to be away from his girlfriend for 48 hours, I'd hit him with a few lines too.

    But let your buddy have an Icehouse in peace. It's "unmanly" to call him out on his beer selection. 

Kia Commercial with the Dancing Mice

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    Watching a commercial where Dancing Mice are rocking out to LMFAO's "Rock Party Anthem" in the middle of some sort of video game really makes me want cut a rug.

    No it doesn't.

    I know very little about Kia's, but I do know they're affordable vehicles and everyone can spare to save a little in this economy.

    With that said, what does dancing mice have to do with a Kia?

    What does dancing mice, in the middle of some battlefield, dancing to an annoying song, have to do with a Kia? 

    Those mice can seriously move though...

GEICO Dad Eats Daughter's Goldfish

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    I'm not going to lie; this commercial was hilarious the first few times I watched it. Then I was disturbed.

    What sick freak eats his kid's goldfish?

    I get we can all stand to save a few bucks, so going out to eat should be one of the first luxuries to abandon during a rough economy.

    If you really have a hankering for sushi, hit up Publix or any other super market who makes it fresh daily. I promise you it's inexpensive a pretty tasty.

    Stay away from the goldfish and the potential diseases it carries. And quit being such a jerk to your daughter.

    Maybe he ought to hang out with the Miller Lite losers.