George Carlin, who once delivered a memorable standup rant about what he deemed goofy first names for boys, died too soon to weigh in on the names of sports teams.
Too bad, for there is no shortage of minor professional franchises, including those in the American Hockey League, in dire need of re-branding.
Of the 30 teams in the AHL, the vast majority are in good shape: Their nicknames are sensible, respectable, and do not cross the thick, broad borderline between creative and crazy.
On the other hand, there are five active AHL teams whose nicknames are unconditionally unsuitable for their locations, their sport, or their league.
In order of ascending importance, here are those teams and why they each need a rechristening.