Nick Diaz: MMA Quote Machine

For a guy who's not known for being able to give much of an interview, Nick Diaz sure has not been at a loss for words ever since being pulled from the main event of UFC 137.

For one thing, Diaz made a YouTube response for no-showing at the UFC 137 press conferences, which some are calling an apology, though one's definition of an apology needs to be pretty loose in this situation.

From there, Diaz simply went off on a tangent, calling out Georges St-Pierre hard for allowing the main event of UFC 137 to be changed.  

GSP now takes on Carlos Condit for the UFC welterweight title on October 29, while Nick Diaz will face BJ Penn in a possible title eliminator.  

Let's take a look at some of the things the elder Diaz brother has had to say recently.  

Nick Diaz Likes Money

In the aforementioned YouTube video, Diaz starts to get a little whacky when he says: 

"Georges thinks it's a great idea, because Carlos Condit poses an even greater threat, so I guess that just leaves me out. It's funny, one second I'm about to come into some money, over in boxing, probably lose some teeth, but I'm ready to get paid... but I'll fight whoever, whatever, anything...I'd definitely rather fight GSP of course."

Fight anything, huh? Apparently Diaz has never seen "When Animals Attack."  

Nick Diaz Hates Beauty Pageants

The title says it all really, so check out what the Cesar Gracie Jiu-Jitsu black belt had to say about press conferences.

Thanks to MMA Junkie for this gem: 

"All these deal makers making deals. All I know is I'm ready to fight. I'm sorry I didn't make it to the beauty pageant, but I've never not shown up to a fight. I've never backed out of a fight in my life. That's not what I do."

Press conferences and beauty pageants are synonymous: what sports (or beauty pageant) fan would've ever jumped to that conclusion on their own?

It's your world, Nick. We just live in it.  

Who Reads Contracts These Days Anyway?

Nick Diaz apparently has never read a fight contract before, as he was baffled by the fact that signing up for a title fight does not just mean training and showing up in the cage. 

MMA Junkie had a very interesting chat with Nick Diaz recently:

"I'm not trying to make all these little excuses," Diaz said. "If I'd have known the fight was going to be off, I would have [expletive] gone to the press conference, or I would have told somebody, 'Hey, if I don't make it to this stupid [expletive], I'm not fighting.'

"I think that people would have gotten me there. I think people would have come and gave two [expletive] and gotten me to that press conference."

Apparently, Diaz really likes the word [expletive].  

So...not knowing that being in the main event of a pay-per-view card requires media appearances isn't your fault? And you're not trying to make excuses?

All right, just double checking. Thank you for clarifying, Mr. Diaz.  

Press Conference or Saturday Night Live?

Apparently, Nick Diaz has never heard of Wikipedia before, or at least refuses to use it. Because he seems pretty confused on what exactly a press conference is.

"I didn't even know there was a press conference," Diaz said. "I thought it was some PR thing. People were trying to tell me, 'You're going to do this skit' and that I was going to be a part of some PR skit where I had this part where I was walking through a hall, kind of like that scene Jake Shields did."

"I was like, 'What the [expletive]? Are you kidding?' So I'm thinking, 'Somebody better come over here and tell me what I'm doing and get me ready to go do it so I don't look like an [expletive].' That's how I feel when you're coming to get me ready for something I'm not ready for."

Hear that, Dana White? Cancel Nick Diaz's hair and make up people for UFC 137.  Hopefully there was no special guest host booked either.   

Nick Diaz Isn't Good at Talking to People, Doing Things on Own

Nick Diaz and Cesar Gracie should probably sit down and have a long talk about all things pertaining to a fight next time around, besides actually fighting, of course. 

"I was trying to make it happen," Diaz insisted. "I wasn't talking to anybody. I wasn't talking to Cesar, and I should have been. I should have had Cesar make my flight and everything, but I was trying to handle it on my own."

Moral of the story: let your manager do everything besides throw down in the cage.  

Diaz Doesnt Like GSP, Still Likes the Word Expletive

Turns out, Nick Diaz doesn't like Georges St-Pierre very much.  

"I really don't appreciate this mother [expletive] sitting there at that press conference and laughing at me," Diaz said. "That's some real bitch [expletive]. He's sitting there laughing like it's funny or something.

"If I saw Georges on the street and called him a b*tch, I bet you he wouldn't do [expletive]. I bet you if I walked up and gave him a slap, I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't do [expletive]. But you can't do that to me. That's not how it works for me. That's something to fight about."

So if GSP is the equivalent of a female dog, fans should not hesitate to toss him a back hand if they see him walking down the street at any point in time.   

St Pierre Ruined the Super Fight Scheduled for UFC 137

Now, don't feel bad if this little piece of news went under your nose, but it was Georges St-Pierre's fault Nick Diaz no longer has a title shot.

"It makes me mad that Georges is going to sit there and call himself a fighter, but he's not going to stand up and say something about this. He's going to let it ride. I think I would say something. I would at least have said, 'I disagree.' I don't agree with canceling my fight because of some dumbass [expletive].

"Now everybody is putting the blame on me. I think that needs to come off, and I think that Georges St-Pierre is a little b*tch for not saying anything about it. He's like, 'Yeah, switch it to Condit. That's easier. I'd love to fight my buddy. I'd love to fight my pal.'"

No further comment necessary.  

MMA Fighters with Wrestling Skills Are, Um, Female Dogs

Surprisingly, Diaz actually gives credit to his new UFC 137 opponent B.J. Penn, but rips on plenty of fighters indirectly in the process.  

"It's not like it's an easy fight for me," Diaz said. "I'm not like these bitches. I'm not going to hold B.J. Penn down the whole time like these guys have done. They held B.J. down because they're bigger than him and stronger than him. I'm not going to do that.

"I'm not a little bitch to try and hold somebody down. I'm going to go out there and fight this tricky mother [expletive], and it could mean a lot of problems for me. It would have been a lot of problems for them, too, if they had fought him like I fight. They would have lost that fight.

"It's a different matchup, me fighting B.J. I'm not afraid to fight B.J. I'm not afraid to fight anybody. I've proven that. I've won three belts in this [expletive] with people trying to take my head off."

Defending or executing takedowns, or being particularly strong within your weight class, means you're a you-know-what.  

Taking heads off? And to think, some critics think MMA is barbaric. Glad to see Diaz pointed out the technical aspects of the sport.