Have you ever been watching a sports game and see the camera pan to some guy wearing a tutu, a Darth Vader mask and rubbing honey through his hair, and then you look at his chest and it says, "Go Red Sox!"?
Me neither, but sports fans are insane, and should this sight ever happen, I wouldn't be surprised in the least.
For some people, it's not enough to just show up and cheer—they've got to take it up to a notch. And then another notch, and then one more.
Ten notches later we have the following 25 people. Let's take a look...
What Cardinals fan was thinking: Oh...my God! I just swallowed a bug! I swallowed a bug!!
What the guy sitting next to Cardinals Fan was thinking: Whoa! That dude just totally swallowed a bug! You see that? It just flew right down his throat! That was awesome!
Cardinals Fan's day job: High-profile lawyer
What the SA Fan was thinking: G..g..g...Ghost!!!
What the person sitting next to them was thinking: So what do you think? Just remembered a repressed childhood memory?
The SA Fan's day job: Computer technician
What Rockets Fan's saying to reporter: I'm whatever the Rockets need me to be. Because I'm not the hero they deserve, but the one that they need. You'll hunt me, set the dogs on me, because it's what needs to happen...
What the fan sitting next to Rocket Fan was thinking: Twenty bucks this guy's a virgin.
Rocket Fan's day job: Oh, he's unemployed—for sure.
What Soccer Ball Head Guy was thinking: Someday I'll have the courage to tell the world that this isn't a mask...
What the person sitting next to him was thinking: Awesome mask, dude!
Soccer Ball Head Guy's day job: Circus freak
What Phillies Fan was thinking: I hate my owner so much. I look like an idiot. In time, I will strike...woof.
What PF's owner was thinking: Isn't this just the cutest thing you've ever seen!? And look, he totally loves it! Awww.
PF's day job: Licking things; plotting his owner's demise
What Hokies Fan was thinking: Beer and football and chicks and parties and boobs and...boobs and chicks and parties and beer!
What the fan sitting next to him was thinking: Beer and football and chicks and parties and boobs and...butts and chicks and parties and beer!
Hokies Fan's day job: Partying with chicks and football and beer and...you get the point.
What he was thinking: I left the stove on! All is lost!
What the fan sitting next to him was thinking: Uh oh, that's the look of a guy seconds before he starts shooting things.
Crazy guys day job: Marine biologist
What Spiderman and King Kong were thinking: We're coming for your bank we're going to rob later!
What the guy sitting next to them were thinking: I wonder who'd win in a fight. King Kong or Spiderman? Probably King Kong, because he's huge, but Spiderman has his Spidey Sense and...Jesus, no wonder my girlfriend left me.
Spiderman and King Kongs day job: Robbing banks
What the FR Kid was thinking: I've seen daddy do this to mommy when he's mad.
What the person sitting to him was thinking: This kid's parents...are awesome! I see I've been doing things all wrong. Son, come here. I want to show you how to do something.
FR Kid's day job: Peeing and pooping; flipping people off
What the Cheese Head Guys are thinking: I can't feel my testicles, and I don't care!
What the father and his son around them are thinking:
Father: Son, wearing the cheesehead is a right of passage. Someday, you too will wear it.
Son: But I don't want to be a cheesehead!
Father: ...you're walking home.
The Cheese Head Guys' day jobs: (From left to right): Lives at home with mom, lives at home with dad, a highly successful doctor, who cares about the last guy.
What Vikings Fan was thinking: Victory is within reach. Now, we set sail for Valhalla, where my many wives await me. I will drink a pint of blood from my enemies, and...oh, who am I kidding? I'm driving home in my van and giving the dog a bath when I get home.
What the fan sitting next to VF was thinking: This guy's a total badass. I bet he rides motorcyles and gets in barfights. I mean, look at the size of his arms. Man, some day I'll be that cool.
Vikings Fan's day job: He owns a couple Subways.
What Fireman Ed was thinking: Yes!!! That was the single greatest punt, ever!
What the person sitting next to FE was thinking: You know, I'm seriously starting to suspect that Fireman Ed isn't an actual fireman.
Fireman Ed's day job: Grocery store clerk
What Broncos Fan was thinking: If only they all knew I wasn't wearing pants underneath this...
What the person sitting next to BF was thinking: I think I saw that guy on the news the other day...Uh oh. Honey, hide the kids!
BF's day job: Middle school guidance counselor
What the The Masked Honduras Fan was thinking: This mask is great because then the cops can't see me on TV, which is good because I just killed that person and hit that bird when I was driving here, but that was completely unintentional. Wasn't my fault it was flying so low.
What the fan sitting next to him was thinking: That looks fun. I think next time I'll wear a mask to the game.
Masked Honduras Fan's day job: Running from police
What the Netherlands Fans were thinking: We're so going to get laid tonight.
What the guy in the green shirt sitting behind them was thinking: You know what's really screwed up? Every single one of those guys are going to get laid tonight.
What the Netherland Fan's day jobs are: They're all in a really bad punk band.
What Sabres Fan was thinking: When I wear this mask, I'm no longer Jim. I'm...Jimmy! Yes, that'll do. I'm Jimmy the Sabres fan! Woo! Free Tibet! Let's go Sabres, here we go!
What everyone around him is thinking: That dude's so wasted. He'll get a DUI on the way home. I feel sorry for his wife.
SF's day job: Works various temp jobs
What Big Dawg was thinking: My wife was right. I do need to reevaluate my life. No...no! That's crazy talk. Woof! Gasp! Where'd that come from? It just sort of slipped out. It's becoming harder to control...
What the person sitting next to BD was thinking: Did that guy just woof?
BD's day job: Couch potato
What This Guy was thinking: Hahahahahahaha! Everything must burn! All of it! Then, I will balance my checkbook!
What the guy from America sitting next to him was thinking: Man, the people here are so passionate about soccer. It's really something.
This Guy's day job: Psychiatrist
What Dolphins Fans were thinking: I wonder if anyone realizes we're the guys from Insane Clown Posse.
What the fans sitting next to Dolphins Fans were thinking: Dude, I'm telling you. Those are the guys from Insane Clown Posse.
Dolphins Fans day job: Hip-hop duo Insane Clown Posse
What the Green Guys were thinking: And our girlfriends said this was a bad idea...
What everyone around the GG's were thinking: I love these guys!
What the GG's day jobs are: The one on the left repairs fridges, and the one on the right spends his days going through Cosmpolitan magazine, cutting the eyes out of the model's faces.
What Bayer Fan was thinking: It feels good to leave the North Pole. You spend so many years handing out presents, sometimes you forget to live.
What the fan sitting next to him was thinking: I wonder how many years he twisted his mustache to get it that way?
Bayer Fan's day job: Santa Claus
What Red Sox Fan was thinking: This is the only place I can dress like this and not be arrested.
What the photographer was thinking: This really shouldn't be allowed.
Red Sox Fans day job: Owns a liquor store
What Raiders Fan was thinking: This costume's really hot. Better drink a lot of water. They say we need to drink eight glasses a day, but I don't know about that. At least this hides my bald spot. God, and I still have to grade papers later, and take those clothes to Goodwill.
What the person sitting next to him was thinking: Whatever you do, don't make direct eye contact with him. This guy's crazy. Probably's been in jail before. Better hide my wallet. Christ, these Raiders fans...so unstable.
The Raider guys day job: Second grade teacher
What Leafs Fan was thinking: I'm such a pretty little lad.
What the person taking this picture was thinking: This dude's family seriously screwed him up. Also, this one's going on Facebook.
Leafs Fan's day job: Kndergarten teacher
What Sperm Man was thinking: Ah, yes! I am the grand, king emperor sperm! First, I will impregnate this stadium, and then—THE WORLD!
What the guy sitting next to Sperm Man was thinking: When people are crazy, do they know they're crazy? Seriously, does this guy have any idea that he's off his rocker? Does he rub peanut butter on his face at night?
Sperm Man's day job: Shift lead at Starbucks