Is your quarterback under-performing? Is your team stuck in an offensive rut and NOTHING seems to be working? Are you looking for just one game where you can sit back and be proud because your QB is playing at an All-Pro level?
Then come play the Chicago Bears!
That's right, the Chicago Bears defense has been making offensive coordinators look brilliant for the past several weeks. Just look at our track record and you will see what we are capable of.
Is your quarterback getting up there in age and hasn't given another team anything to worry about so far this year? We fix that.
Just ask 35 year-old Kerry Collins, who had his best game in the past three years against the Bears going 30-of-41 with 289 yards passing and two TDs.
Is your quarterback a rookie who only has a couple games under his belt and still hasn't won your confidence? We fix that.
Take a look at Falcons rookie Matt Ryan out of Boston College. While he had a few decent games before welcoming the Bears to Atlanta, Ryan really skyrocketed to the forefront of the offensive rookie-of-the-year race with this stat line: 22-of-30 for 301 yards and a touchdown.
Is your quarterback a replacement who hasn't seen much meaningful time in a real game since you drafted him and your team is the worst in the NFL? We fix that.
Dan Orlovsky hardly saw the field since the Lions drafted him out of UConn four years ago, but after replacing Kitna and taking a couple weeks to get his feet under him, Orlovsky came out and burned the Bears for 292 yards and two TDs (the two touchdowns both came in the first half as well).
Is your quarterback a career journeyman that your team signed to back-up a "young gun" or a "cagey veteran" but was thrust into the role because the other flopped? We fix that too ... Both, actually.
Gus Frerotte, after taking over for Tarvaris Jackson, rattled the Bears to the tune of 298 yards and two touchdowns and led an offense that scored 42 points.
Brian Griese of the Tampa Bay Bucs dropped back to pass 67 times and did not get sacked once. He also threw the game-tying touchdown pass with seven seconds left and then led the game-winning drive in overtime.
We fix them all. And we don't stop with just your quarterback; having issues with the offensive line? The Bears can make them look like an impenetrable wall.
Think your team's receivers are not playing up to par? The Bears will make them look like the reincarnated Jerry Rice.
Hoping to develop your young tight end into the offense a little more? The Bears won't even guard him.
How about you coaches? Tired of your local media being on your back all the time? Would you like to feel like Bill Walsh at least once in your life? The Chicago Bears will have you on cloud nine.
You will walk off the field feeling like an offensive guru. Those newspaper writers will be singing your praise for your play calling ability and overall strategy while your offensive players get a big boost in confidence.
So if your quarterback is past his prime to the point where your head coach benched him, and then the coach was fired and that QB got his job back but was still pretty pitiful...Hello Marc Bulger, I do believe you have come to the right place.









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about 1 month ago
Great Article!!!! It's so true that it's somewhat comicle..
from about 1 month ago
It's so true that it's kinda of sad too. Figures though, once the offense actually becomes semi-legit, the defense decides to crap the bed. Thanks for the input
about 1 month ago
It's that Cover 2 defense. I hate it.
from about 1 month ago
The Cover 2 is the worst, why do they keep doing it? If the Bears lose to the Rams Sunday, I will lead the Bears fans in demanding Lovie Smith be fired!
from about 1 month ago
It is effective only if the QB is pressured. And judging from how useless our D-Line has been at getting to the quarterback, this could be a LONG remaining 6 games. I might have to join up as T.W.'s number 2.
about 1 month ago
The game against Brian Griese and the Bucs was in Week 3 and yet the Bears still haven't done anything to fix the system. This is getting very hard to watch.
about 1 month ago
Bears fans, do you feel the fall off in defense coincided with Rivera's departure?
from about 1 month ago
It did. Whether that has more to do with Rivera or more to do with Babich is debatable. But Rivera left because he was tired of having Lovie looking over his shoulder all the time, probably a reason for that.
from about 1 month ago
I feel it has more to do with Briggs, Urlacher, and Harris getting new contracts, Mike Brown being to old, and Vasher and Tillman being injured to much and full of themselves. How can I back this up you may ask?Easy, I said Devin Hester would not live up to his $40 million contract and look what is happening with him.
from about 1 month ago
I disagree with that slightly.
Devin's contract is only 40 million if he gets all the incentive escalators. He received 15 in guarantees so I'm not sure referencing the drop off in production is there, but i understand the point. I still blame alot of the problems on the scheme. There are just to many holes in the defense that are easily exploited when the QB has time.
about 1 month ago
This is probably one of the funniest and best articles I've read this season. I really love your major point of this article. Very well put.
The funniest thing about it is how all of these quarterbacks are legitimized because they played so well against a bad Bears defense. Nice job with the article!
from about 1 month ago
Thanks for the read. As i said earlier its so true that its almost depressing. But the real reason to worry is that out of our six games left we face: Marc Bulger, Frerotte (again), David Garrard, Drew Brees, Rodgers (again) and either Matt Schaub or Sage Rosenfels.
Bulger has not been good, but we could easily change that because he is a decent QB when he has time to throw the ball and we seem incapable of getting pressure. Garrard has been subpar this year but again he could work us over because of the time he will have and his scrambling abilities, Drew Brees is going to throw for 500 yards against us, period. And whichever Texans QB plays us should do well enough to win the starting job for next year. It is ridiculous. We are the team that offensive players circle on their schedule when trying to find a stat padding game.
about 1 month ago
Ouch!! The truth hurts.
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