Want to Fix Your Quarterback Problems? ... Play the Chicago Bears!

Max KienzlerAnalyst INovember 20, 2008

Is your quarterback under-performing? Is your team stuck in an offensive rut and NOTHING seems to be working? Are you looking for just one game where you can sit back and be proud because your QB is playing at an All-Pro level?

Then come play the Chicago Bears!

That's right, the Chicago Bears defense has been making offensive coordinators look brilliant for the past several weeks.  Just look at our track record and you will see what we are capable of.

Is your quarterback getting up there in age and hasn't given another team anything to worry about so far this year? We fix that.

Just ask 35 year-old Kerry Collins, who had his best game in the past three years against the Bears going 30-of-41 with 289 yards passing and two TDs.

Is your quarterback a rookie who only has a couple games under his belt and still hasn't won your confidence? We fix that.

Take a look at Falcons rookie Matt Ryan out of Boston College. While he had a few decent games before welcoming the Bears to Atlanta, Ryan really skyrocketed to the forefront of the offensive rookie-of-the-year race with this stat line: 22-of-30 for 301 yards and a touchdown.

Is your quarterback a replacement who hasn't seen much meaningful time in a real game since you drafted him and your team is the worst in the NFL? We fix that.

Dan Orlovsky hardly saw the field since the Lions drafted him out of UConn four years ago, but after replacing Kitna and taking a couple weeks to get his feet under him, Orlovsky came out and burned the Bears for 292 yards and two TDs (the two touchdowns both came in the first half as well).

Is your quarterback a career journeyman that your team signed to back-up a "young gun" or a "cagey veteran" but was thrust into the role because the other flopped? We fix that too ... Both, actually.

Gus Frerotte, after taking over for Tarvaris Jackson, rattled the Bears to the tune of 298 yards and two touchdowns and led an offense that scored 42 points.

Brian Griese of the Tampa Bay Bucs dropped back to pass 67 times and did not get sacked once. He also threw the game-tying touchdown pass with seven seconds left and then led the game-winning drive in overtime.

We fix them all. And we don't stop with just your quarterback; having issues with the offensive line? The Bears can make them look like an impenetrable wall. 

Think your team's receivers are not playing up to par? The Bears will make them look like the reincarnated Jerry Rice. 

Hoping to develop your young tight end into the offense a little more? The Bears won't even guard him.

How about you coaches? Tired of your local media being on your back all the time? Would you like to feel like Bill Walsh at least once in your life? The Chicago Bears will have you on cloud nine.

You will walk off the field feeling like an offensive guru.  Those newspaper writers will be singing your praise for your play calling ability and overall strategy while your offensive players get a big boost in confidence.

So if your quarterback is past his prime to the point where your head coach benched him, and then the coach was fired and that QB got his job back but was still pretty pitiful...Hello Marc Bulger, I do believe you have come to the right place.