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Pat: Well, first and foremost, we wanted to offer a hand of apology for being absent. Bernie had a bit of an "accident," but we are back Bernie: You wanted to offer a hand of apology? What ...

Our Top Five Football B/R Writers Are...

by Bernie and Pat Morris (Scribe)

61

520 reads

Sports

November 20, 2008

NFL, BR Chatter

Pat: Well, first and foremost, we wanted to offer a hand of apology for being absent.  Bernie had a bit of an "accident," but we are back

Bernie: You wanted to offer a hand of apology? What the hell does that even mean?

Pat: It means your face reminds me of an ugly lump of mashed potatoes. Now let's get to the point

Bernie: Right. Top five writers on B/R. Now, we have to narrow this down a bit. To be honest with you, it's football season, let's concentrate on that.

Pat: Good point.  Top five Football writers. I already have my picks...

Bernie: Hmmm It's a bot tougher for me, but I think I do too...

Pat: Alright, i'll go first since I'm the best. Remember if you ain't first...you're last.

Bernie: Yeah yeah yeah. Go eat a donkey...or a hash brown. You decide.

Pat: LOL.  WHAT?? 

Pat: No. 5- James Williamson. He is passionate and is hilarious when responding back to comments. He could use a little bit more experience, but the boy's got passion and dedication. Hard to come by these days

Bernie: Hmmm. Yes I agree with that.  He does have a lot of feisty is him.  Kinda like Harold the Duck.  That thing was the devil!

Pat: Um...ok. So would you agree with that being your No. 5 choice as well?

Bernie: Oh.  I would have to say No.  I would actually go with my No. 5 being...Daniel Cox. He writes a  series called "Letters to the League" and he never disappoints.

Pat: Yes! I do like him. Though he always messing with Brett...Looks like all the Brett haters are shutting their mouths, as they should!! 

Bernie: Give it time, my friend. After all, the playoffs are just around the corner.  This is where Brett misunderstand "throwing a touchdown pass" to "throwing an interception"

Pat: Whatever.  Those kind of statements really do tug at my thigh

Bernie: HAHA. WTH??

Pat: No. 4 for me would be...(Ok, before I say this—listen people—this isn't a popularity contest. I am writing the people that I truly think are great writers. IF you don't agree, then that's fine—don't attack the writer, and don't tell me crap about how so and so should be on this list. THIS IS MY LIST DAMNIT)...My No. 4 would be Ray Bogusz. 

Listen the guy can be negative with his articles, but he can write well. I like that.

Bernie: Hmm, haven't read much of his work to be honest. But will start immediately.  Wait, is that the guy with a picture of a rat terrier?

Pat: I thought it was a golden retriever?

Bernie: What? It was like 10 pounds and white? With glasses?

Pat: Why can a rat terrier have glasses and not a golden?
 

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comments (61) write a comment »

  1. Bernie, great to see you noticing and recognizing all of the great talent on here.

    Also, thanks for the Honorable Mention, I appreciate it. Although, part of me wonders whether you voted for me or my cute son....lol.

    BTW, It's Rieger....not Reiger.

    At any rate, again, kudos for doing this and much respect!

    1. Pat: So, uh you don't like my picks then Scotty?

      Bernie: He likes them, relax you big baby

      Pat: Scott, I liked your kid too ya know.

      Bernie: I liked Top Gun. Member that movie?

    2. B & P,

      lol. I always think of a gas station when I write that.

      Anyways, thanks for fixing my name. I appreciate it.

    3. I've been on this site for like 3 months and I'm an honorable mention. Kick ass.

      Thanks for the nod guys

  2. Pat, what's with the Bernie's mom vote? Is she a super-hot MILF or something?

    1. Pat: Scott- you have no idea. She is like 49 gonig on 83. That mama got more botox on her skin than ALEX TRBECK! She actualyl resembles him a little. I just like to give bernie ctap about it so she feels loved. That;s all

      bernie: I hate you

  3. Thanks for the Honorable mention, but I soooo should have cracked the top 5, haha lol. Good stuff guys.

    1. Bernie: How can you crack the top five when people are giving you ideas for OPTD? Come on now! We read and KNOW everything ;) You're a good writer. We feel, the top 5 had a bit more experience.

      Pat: You're on your way there TW. You're awesome!!

      Bernie: SHAKE AND BAKE. IM GONNA SCISSORKICK YOUR ASS

      Pat: I'm ALL JACKED UP ON MOUNTAIN DEW

      Bernie: TW-- You are now--Texas Walker

    2. Yeah, I like Tommy too but he did catch some flack about asking for people to vote him POTD. I'm ambivilent on the matter.

    3. See what I mean T.W.?

      Whoring your articles come back to you...LOL

  4. Sorry POTD, we got a little excited

    1. Its all good, hopefully you guys will do another one in the future and I will make that one. Thanks again guys.

      Texas Walker

    2. Pat: I like Texas Walker.

  5. Haha another well donw article guys. I do disagree with some of your picks (bernie) but i am shutting up now. there are some real talented people on this list. great job calling them out
    POTD for me. no pun intended.

    1. Pat: uh no pun intended? LOL. What??

      Bernie: Matthew--thanks for the read. You need to write some articles too man!

      Pat: Dear 8 lb, 6 oz Baby Jesus

      Bernie: STOP. Lets do a better movie quote...ready... If you can get this, you win..." Hey guys...big gulps huh? WELP see ya later!!!"

      Pat: LOL. I sooooooooo know that one. I love Lloyd!

    2. "Dumb and Dumber." Classic.

  6. Guys, another hilarious write. I love it when you two put your diametrically opposing brains together to create these masterpieces of literary genius. (Mouthful?)

    And thanks for the honorable mention. Not sure if I deserve it, but I'll try to earn it as I go along, I suppose.

    I read and respect a good number of the writers you mentioned, but I'm also looking forward to checking out those you mentioned that I haven't had a chance to read yet. I guess I'll be doing that while you guys are checking out Kristin and Lisa! Haha

  7. Pat: I can't help it SM-they're cuties!

    Bernie: Wau to know Lloyd and Harry :) Great minds think alike

    Pat: Ya want some ketchup and mustard? That helped us!!

  8. good picks have to agree with both of you ! is that possible! i ll be in your next selections! 57 articles in 2 months!! thomas

    1. Pat: Thanks Thomas...as always.

      Bernie: Argrggrgrgggg

      Pat: LOL. We love you reads!

      Bernie: AAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAH

  9. I agree with eveyrbody here, but wiht all due repsect, James shoudl be #1. not just because he's like my best friend on the site, but eveyr article seems to get 30+ comments, all positive.

    1. Bernie: Ah dear Isaac. His articles get a lot of comments from a lot of Dallas fans. He isn't the greatest writer out there, and has only stuck to one subject, with exception to ONE article. He needs to expand his articles, otherwise he seems rather bias.

      Pat: I have seen a lot of bad comments on James. A lot of people don't agree with what he writes. I think a GOOD writer is going to generate bad comments. Means they are getting to the readers and making them think.

      Bernie: Well said. Once James allows bad comments to be posted and replies back to them in a mature way, instead of a bias way, he would earn a better spot.

      Pat: Plus, there are too many writers on here that have better...writing skills. Hey he made it in my top #5! That's kinda a big deal :)

      Bernie: we are honest. We may be goofballs but we are honest as well. We cut straight to the point

    2. Pat: Go Penn State ;) Kust messing with ya Isaac Bruce.

      Bernie; LOL. Damn I still wish they were going to the Nat'l game..

    3. Isaac: I don't think he's biased at all.

      Isaac: Go Terps and Ravens!

      LOL

    4. I'm surprised that Isaac agreed with me being listed up there, seeing as though we disagreed so much on the talents and abilities of Penn State this year. Turns out it was a moot point as they lost the very next week, but it sure was fun. Nice to see he doesn't hold any hard feelings as a result of our dissenting opinions.

    5. Isaac: I love PSU, but the Terps are my team.

    6. Thanks for supporting me Isaac. You are probably my best friend on the site too.

      Thanks guys for complimenting me in your article. I just thought you'd like to know that the Dallas fans on my articles are not that many.

      Also, if you check my stats, only one-third of my articles are about Dallas really. I pride myself on being versatile.

      I'm definitely going to try to act much more mature when responding to the comments I receive.

      What "writing skills" do you recommend guys?

      Hopefully I'm ranked higher next time.

  10. Bernie: Ah dear Isaac. His articles get a lot of comments from a lot of Dallas fans. He isn't the greatest writer out there, and has only stuck to one subject, with exception to ONE article. He needs to expand his articles, otherwise he seems rather bias.

    Pat: I have seen a lot of bad comments on James. A lot of people don't agree with what he writes. I think a GOOD writer is going to generate bad comments. Means they are getting to the readers and making them think.

    Bernie: Well said. Once James allows bad comments to be posted and replies back to them in a mature way, instead of a bias way, he would earn a better spot.

    Pat: Plus, there are too many writers on here that have better...writing skills. Hey he made it in my top #5! That's kinda a big deal :)

    Bernie: we are honest. We may be goofballs but we are honest as well. We cut straight to the point

  11. I'm not sure what the hell that picture was to be quite honest. I'm currently on

    Thanks for the nod. Obviously I should be number one (I am the authority on all subjects) but I'll take what I can get. Thanks guys.

    1. K. let's try that again.

      I'm currently on the look out for a better picture. In the interim I've substituted Dr. Cox.

    2. Pat: Oh Ray Ray--don't be so cocky--it ain't pretty on you!

      Bernie: Yeah! Haha. We miss your beagle

      Pat: Listen, this is about f-o-o-t-b-a-l-l. People understand? When we start talking about water polo we will rate people higher that can write about it

      Bernie: I miss Glen

      Pat: WHO?

    3. Pat: Ray--do a picture of Bernie asking a girl out. LMAO. It's comical

      Bernie: Real nice Pat. Hey Ray, put a picture of Brett Fave throwing what he does best.

      Pat: A 400 yd game?

      Bernie: An interception. Then include a picture of him on the phone with "deer" in the backround duscussing hunting details with all the teams that play the Packers this year

      Pat: lol. Whatever Bern

  12. Thanks Guys. I appreciate you shining the spotlight on some amazing writers - of whom I should not be included. My stuff is more human interest, but I am honored to be friends with these excellent CFB writers. Being on B/R has made this one of the most enjoyable football seasons possible. I have been busy as of late, but I am trying to get my writing brain back in gear. Thanks for your kind comments and encouragement.

    1. Pat: Ahh Grey..You're like a warm cup of tea on a Saturday night

      Bernie: Yeah, you are always so pleasant. Your wife is a lucky gal

      Pat: LOL. Um...awkward

      Bernie: What!!? He is just a genuine person

      Pat: Yes, he is that. And very talented. We think you, Kristin and Lisa should all write an article together and display it..

      Bernie: Display it?

      Pat: Yes Bernie.

  13. Awwww I am blushing. Thanks you guys for the shout-out. I have to say that Michael Cline is def becoming a favorite of mine--I really like his style of writing. Lisa and Gray--amazing writers and I feel honored to be part of the list if it includes those writers. I actually love all the writers you mentioned and think they have added a huge part to what B/R is all about. I love reading all their articles, and many more--though I can't name them all--it would take up too much room :)

    Thanks again and funny funny read. MC HAMMER??? lol.

    1. Pat: well, well well. bernie has stepped out so um.... I would just like to say thank you for your comment kristin. Um.. I just really like your writing..and shirt. I mean not shirt but writing. Um...so you're welcome and remember that bernie has a smelling problem. he eats Green beans fpr crying out loud.

  14. hah....funny. thanks for the mention. i'm flattered. bernie, i appreciate you bringing up my name. i always knew i liked you better...

    week 11 letters was a bust though...the hot streak may be over...

    1. Pat: Well. I see how you are.

      Bernie: No problem DannY! We will make sure you're articles don't sink like the Titanic.

      Pat: Like my love for Jada PInkett Smith

  15. sweet! honorable mention!!!

    i will hang this next to all my participation trophies from grade school and all the lottery tickets i bought with one number right. i have a huge fridge.

    funny read again.

    1. Justin, "lottery tickets with one number right"......that was funny right there.

    2. Pat: Oh Justin....we love your work--you actually should be on that list but you GET all the love. HAHA. Kidding. We love your articles man

      Bernie: Yeah--we like it all. Don't like LSU but didn't hold that accountable.

      Pat: I did, but when in Rome :)

    3. i figure you guys or one guy or whatever you are would take my comment as it was intended. keep up the good work!!

  16. Bernie, what did Pat do to you? Did he convince you not to put me in because he hates me? So unfair. :(

    Also, where's BabyTate? He, Gray Ghost, and Kristofer Green are probably my favorites. BabyTate is a great writer, and he gets straight to the point with his articles.

    Yeah, and more about me. I should be at No. 1 cause that's where Penn State should be, and now that they have a loss they should move up in Pat's rankings. jk. But seriously, I should be there. :)

    1. Bernie: Isaac there you are!! We missed you. Listen, I like Babytate--but think these are better writers. Isn't supposed to be mean. Just honest.

      Pat: Listen--we based it off of passion and the flow of the article. I like things that are different. I can read stats anyday of the week..I guess it is just preference.

      Bernie: I am with you on Penn State though......it has saddened all of us!

      Pat: Not me! Go Red Raiders!!!!

      Bernie: Um....I thought you liked Georgia?

      Pat: Nope not anymore..hehe.

    2. I write a lot of things other than stats. I write some personal articles, some humor, and some lists and stuff, like 10 best mascots. I think you should read more of my articles, then. Anyway, Pat, you should be quiet. Seriously, you're gonna be in pain when TTU loses this weekend. Then who will you like, Bama? Wait, they're gonna lose to Florida, so then you'll like Florida or Oklahoma? Penn State will win the Rose, and hopefully the NC if everyone in front of them loses.

      Pat, lol.

      Bernie, :).

  17. Normally I'd get at you guys for "whoring" your article at me. But then I saw I was actually mention in it, so i'll let you guys off the hook.

    Me a top NFL writer? I appreciate the mention, but I wouldn't even consider myself that high.

    LOL, keep doin what your doin guys.

    1. Bernie: I've never seen "whoring" used in such a way.

      Pat: You're right. You're use to seeing it used in the same sentence with your ex-wi.."

      Bernie: Pat! Why you little...

      Pat: ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

  18. Ha. Guys you never disappoint in your writing either. I can always come on here and count on a laugh from you guys. :)

    Great job on shining the spotlight on the talented writers here on B/R. Although I was hurt to see my name on here. :( Haha. Seriously though, I do have a few articles out since you two have been on here and I'd love your feedback on them. :)

    Roll Tide,
    Bama Chick

    1. Bernie: Roll Tide! Just hope that they don't "roll" right out of the Championship picture.

      Pat: Go Red Raiders!!!!

      Bernie: Pat can you even name anyone on Texas Tech besides Harrell and Crabtree?

      Pat: Um...uh...Go Red Raiders!!!!

  19. When you posted this on my page, I thought I'd at least get an honorable mention! What an emotional roller coaster you just put me through... haha

    Insert sad face.

    1. Pat: Sorry dude, Bernie's in charge of the posting, you can blame him.

      Bernie: That's right, just blame Bernie. Blame Bernie for everything. Blame Bernie for the posting, AND the bad jokes, AND the meatloaf...

      Pat: The meatloaf??

      Bernie:....oh....nevermind.

      Pat: Zach, keep writing and maybe you'll make the next list! Shake and Bake!

  20. Ah shucks guys... thanks for the mention. There are a ton a excellent writers on this site and I am humbled to be included in their company.

    You guys are such a refreshing change of pace here on B/R and I look forward to more from Bernie and Pat!

    1. Bernie: Humbleness is such a unique quality.

      Pat: You know who else is humble Bern?

      Bernie: Who Pat?

      Pat: Jesus.

      Bernie: lol. Good observation there Patty.

      Pat: AND it's almost his birthday...Happy Birthday baby Jesus!!!

  21. hahaha

    A good surprise to see my name on the list. Thanks for the props, but did you have to bring up the owls?
    My therapist said I shouldn't talk about it too much, I might have flashbacks.

    1. Pat: "hooot, hoooot, hoooot!"

      Bernie: Stop that Pat, that isn't nice.

      Pat: What? I was just saying...

      Bernie: Michael, I'm sure there are many people with strange phobias.

      Pat: Lots of people? Like who Bern?

      Bernie: Well, you know Charlie? Works in the tape room? He's afraid of that lizard on TV.

      Pat: Lizard on TV? Are you talking about the Geico Gecko? LOL

      Bernie: hahaha That's the one!

      Pat: LMAO, that's definitely worse than owls!

  22. lol good stuff guys.

    1. Pat: Thanks David.

      Bernie: David's a Giants fan.

      Pat: Really? You're brilliant Bern. How'd you ever figure that one out?

  23. Oh man, I am so humbled...thanks for the props....Kristin should be NO. 1 in my book, but Daniel is great too. And good for you for putting heat on Gray Ghost...we need more of him. There are so many good ones out there, I think you should link their websites out there, so we all can have easy access to check them out! You guys should have put yourselves up there, fyi.

    Thanks again, and the good cop, bad cop routine works. Totally! I loved it...keep doing it, it was hilarious!

    hugs,

    Lise

    1. Pat: She just hugged me! Did you see that Bern!

      Bernie: Yeah I saw it. Looked more like she tripped on the empty cup of Jell-O you threw on the floor and you just happened to be there to catch her.

      Pat: You're jealous!

      Bernie: Jealous?

      Pat: Jealous! You always hate when I get the girl.

      Bernie: Oh brother, here we go...Have you been shooting Nyquil again Pat?

  24. It's time for some shake and bake of my own. I think someone should take your #1 pick down a peg. So who will step up and show her up? Or is everyone afraid of the almight Horne?

  25. B & P-

    "Stay Golden"

    You guys require butter, because your "on-a-roll".

    Thanks again for another cerebral write-up

    -Ponyboy

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