Frustrated Carey Price Explodes In The Canadiens' Locker Room (Humor)

Guy Carbonneau said today during his press conference that he wished someone stood up in the locker room and took charge of the team and make every one follow him. If you have seen the Montreal Canadiens play recently, you might have noticed that no one seems to be fitting with one another.

And then after last night’s game against the Carolina Hurricanes, it was obvious that the goaltender of the Habs, Carey Price, stood out because of an exceptional, stellar performance.

So, I decided to come-up with a script of his rant in the locker room. If specially the Montreal Canadiens lose tomorrow’s game against the Senators, they would break Price’s record of shutting out the Sens two games in a row and here is what he would say the next day morning in the locker room. It is a dramatization. If you think I am offending anyone, please let me know because this article is written with humorous intent.

''Ok! I’m done with this crap (Price hits his stick on the floor and it breaks! Everyone stops talking, listening to their iPods)…I have something to say and you all just sit there and listen.

"Half of you freakin' call yourselves veterans! I'm f***ing  21 and I am working my ass off to keep you in a game, to give your damn souls a chance to win. Plus, take this, I earn like 750 000$ which is like way less than all of you. I have no complaints but still I do overtime, I don’t mind.

"I want to keep my job or in case, you all start a losing streaking, I want to be able to find a job somewhere else. And if you keep me from holding a good record, I’ll leave you.

"You all better start moving coz I'm not gonna slack off and you better not to. I'm sick of this. I'm frustrated coz I'm left there all alone, in these big huge arenas. And you know what humiliates me, most of time, you people decide to lose in some other arena where they don’t even cheer their own team. You know how hard it is. The day I was butt-ended by Grabovski, I should’ve known what was coming.  Here are my tips!

"D-E-F-E-N-S-E, in other words

Ryan O’Byrne

You, mister! Have to start burning all those calories you have got for that huge size of yours. Right now you are letting yourself be burned! Stop thinking about abjinx or whatever these media people tell you because if you don’t act, I’ll tell you what’ll happen. Hamilton Bulldogs sound familiar?

Patrice Brisebois

First, could you come closer because I want to make sure you hear me! Stop trying to feel wind in your hair when passing by my crease. All you have to do is keep flyin' to the other end and stop hitting the posts. Remember that goal of yours which I could have stopped but too bad the other goalie couldn’t? Replay that in your mind.

Andrei Markov

On the powerplay, you stay on the same spot for so long before you make passes, I can even see what’s going on. What’s happening? At this rate, you’ll be marking your favourite spots in every arena. Please learn to check, backcheck, forecheck and stop taking those bad penalties at the wrong times.

Roman Hamrlik

Man, you block a lot of shots but not much as I do. Remember when you got injured on your toe? I had to save Breezer’s a** soo many times. I almost had a heart attack. Speaking about attack, that scoring streak you had at the beginning of the season, please bring it back on. We need serious need help in that department.

Mike Komisarek

You just broke your hand on the stupidest fight at the stupidest time. That should be enough to punish you. I mean come on why would you fight when we were losing 6-1. Lame…very Lame (shakes his head). You hit everyone too hard and then they come back to haunt you. Good job! The only good thing is that you rush to my rescue, not all time, but most of the time, you think you’re superman or something.

Josh Gorges

Curious Gorge! Tell me one thing, are you a defenseman or an attacker or a neutral zone player. Because from my view, you are all over the place. Not to say that’s a bad thing but you might be comprising important duties. On a side note, you can’t really score on net, so let someone else do it! And by the way, don’t forget to think of a new trick to do when we win. (Aside: Wonder when that’s gonna be?)

Francis Bouillon

You scared the hell out of me when you took that puck in your throat. Again, I almost had a heart attack. I’m too young for those and one suggestion, finish your checks when you are behind my net and don’t make passes which don’t reach our players. Avoid that because you won’t allow me to have a break. Otherwise, my friend, you seem to be working alright!

"That's just the beginning, now Halak, just pass me that bottle of water and then I'll talk to the rest you! Next Page.....

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