WWE Rankings: Air Boom and the 50 Dumbest Wrestler and Tag Team Names Ever
Just a few weeks after they officially joined together and won tag team gold, I am now dreading Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston in tag team matches. The matches themselves are good, but their name is just bad. Despite asking fans for their name, WWE settled on the name of Air Boom. What a stupid decision, WWE.
It isn't like a choice like this hasn't happened before in wrestling. It seems like bad names for teams and individual performers are thought up every single day. If you posed the question of the worst name in wrestling history to 50 different fans, you could easily be given 50 different names.
There is a lot of difficulty in putting this list together, especially in ranking the names. How do you possibly explain why one name is worse than another? Instead, the 50 names will be listed alphabetically and it will be up to you guys to choose which you feel are the worst. List your least-favorite names, as well as some that never made the list, in the comments section.
We start with 3 Count, a faction of three young cruiserweights that walked around as if they were a boy band. The team consisted of a young Shannon Moore and Shane Helms, as well as some guy named Evan Karagias.
The trio bragged about gold records despite never actually releasing any albums. Not only did they seem like a parody of boy bands, but they still remind me of a poor man's Too Cool.
The current WWE tag team champions had many options for a good and creative tag team name. Instead, they settled on Air Boom. It sounds like the journey of a firework on the Fourth of July.
There were so many plays that they could have taken their names and gimmicks in order to make a great name and this was not one of them.
Before becoming Justin Credible, Peter Polaco went by the name of Aldo Montoya in the then-WWF from 1993 to 1997. Montoya was billed as the "Portuguese Man O' War" and befriended The Kliq.
His tenure was very unfulfilling and his name looks just as silly, especially when compared to the name Justin Credible, which may be one of the more clever ring names in wrestling.
There is nothing clean about Bastion Booger, especially his name. The name doesn't beat around the bush about him being dirty by having his last name be the word "booger."
Like it or not, his name sticks out and makes you remember an image like this one. I know that I wouldn't want to wrestle this guy because it would mean that I would be touching him and I don't know what I could possibly catch from that.
A man that would eventually be known as Chaz and was previously one of The Headbangers, Charles Warrington went by the name Beaver Cleavage for a time in 1999.
Vignettes of Cleavage, a mockery of the classic show "Leave it to Beaver," had him talking to his "mother" in sexual innuendos. The gimmick was scrapped after Warrington became known as Chaz the following month and performed a worked shoot on the gimmick.
Big Dick Johnson
Big Dick Johnson has haunted many a wrestling fan for a few years. He never actually wrestled. In fact, all he ever did was dance in a g-string while being all oiled up.
Oh, yeah—he also wore a bow tie. That was about it. His real name was Christopher DeJoseph and he was a writer for SmackDown during his tenure with WWE.
Yes, there was once a man named Booty Man. A man who is all about the booty. You would think that would just make him named "Man," but this was his name in any event. This was also the man famously known in WWE as Brutus "The Barber" Beefcake.
In WCW, however, he was a man who was fascinated with his own butt. Sound familiar? Keep that gimmick in mind for later.
It isn't often that a name as developed as the Brooklyn Brawler is used on an enhancement talent, which is a nice way to say a jobber. The Brawler actually had a run as a legitimate superstar, but has spent most of his career making other people look good in the ring and from behind the scenes as a road agent.
I never understood how a guy billed from Brooklyn would wear a Yankees shirt when the Yankees play in the Bronx. I would have preferred a tattered Brooklyn Dodgers shirt any time of day.
You don't get much worse than being called Chicken Neck. Intended to be a chicken gimmick, he looks more like Woody Woodpecker.
The gimmick even stretched out more by having him billed from chicken farms and weighing in at whatever the price of chicken was per pound. Yes, this is a real gimmick, folks.
Don't look now, but The Dicks are coming. I'll continue once you stop laughing at that.
Looking like Chippendale's dancers, Chad and James Dick debuted on SmackDown in late 2005 and barely stayed around long enough for many to even notice. Of course, these two were heels. Why wouldn't they be? They were Dicks.
He may be one of the rising stars in WWE now, but you have to admit that the name Dolph Ziggler is a bad one. Does anyone know someone actually named Dolph? The last name of Ziggler makes it even worse.
I don't know who had a gripe with Nick Nemeth to give him such a name, but they at least made up for it by giving him the perfect gimmick over Joe Hennig.
Duke "The Dumpster" Droese
Anyone who gets to be a sanitation worker as a wrestling gimmick is bound to get a break somewhere along the line. Droese had to carry a trash can to the ring, but won a match at the 1996 Royal Rumble that made him the final entrant in the over the top battle royal later that night.
After just more than a minute in the ring, Droese lost. The road was too much for Droese and by the summer of that year, WWE took out the trash, so to speak.
This guy was very tall, so when they decided on a name for him, it had to be tree-related. They settled on Eli Cottonwood, which made perfect sense with his gimmick of a psych ward patient being released back into the public.
At least his gimmick made sense when he wouldn't stop talking about mustaches. Okay, so where does the Cottonwood name fit into this again?
There are very few pictures around of Frogman LeBlanc, a man who literally wore green trunks and hopped around the ring. This guy was an appetite of flies shy of being a full-fledged frog.
His greatest accomplishment may be that he was the first-ever opponent for a man named Steve Austin. You may have heard of the guy.
Names like Earthquake and Typhoon won't be on this list. You look at the guys and figure that they could actually cause such natural disasters. Glacier, on the other hand, was just a rejected Mortal Kombat character that looked more silly than scary.
Is it just me or do most of these stupid names get attached to stupid gimmicks? That might not be by mistake.
Speaking of terrible gimmicks, they stop and end with the Gobbledy Gooker. After months of hyping an oversized egg, Survivor Series 1990 revealed a man dressed in a turkey costume. That isn't all: The man inside the costume is none other than Hector Guerrero of the famed Guerrero family and brother to the late Eddie Guerrero.
This gimmick was so bad that it only was seen again during the Gimmick Battle Royal at WrestleMania X-Seven. The Gooker is still looked upon in the wrestling community as the perennial rock bottom of ideas.
I'm sure that The Goon had a lot of fun with his gimmick, but the gimmick did not make Barney Irwin a star in the WWF. A man who won multiple accolades in NWA, The Goon lasted for only a few months in 1996 and never got far off the ground.
Dressed in hockey gear and wearing boots that looked like he had a blade on them, The Goon was gone faster than you could say "two minutes for high sticking."
It must be hard to have a father that is so legendary in the wrestling business. That still isn't as hard as it was for Jim Ross to say "Grandmaster Sexay" on television.
The son of Jerry "The King" Lawler, Sexay never saw the popularity of Rikishi and didn't get the same amount of pushes that Scotty 2 Hotty was getting. Instead, Sexay sulked to himself, phasing himself off television.
Poor Steve Blackman doesn't like working well with others, but his success with Al Snow as a tag team partner was hard to resist. The alliance brought on potential new names for the group, including HeadCheese.
The name made since because of Snow's varying of a mannequin skull he calls Head, as well as Blackman, who supposedly likes to eat cheese. I know that it was supposed to be funny, but something somewhat legitimate could have had the same effect.
Hugh G. Rection
Bill DeMott learned very easily what happens when you piss off Vince Russo. What happens is that you get a name like Hugh G. Rection. Rection was the manager of Misfits in Action, which actually became fan favorites. When Team Canada debuted in WCW, Misfits in Action became Made in America and Rection became a general.
That's right, Gen. Hugh G. Rection. Fantastic. Explain that one to your kids, parents.
Irwin R. Schyster
We get that he is supposed to have an accountant gimmick, but did you have to stretch for letters to make up the anagram I.R.S.? I can deal with Schyster, since many accounts are one, but Irwin? Come on.
Then, you won't even admit to what the "R" stands for officially? Years later, it was said that the "R" stands for Rotunda, a name also seen by his sons, who both are in FCW now as Bo Rotundo and Husky Harris.
Issac Yankem, DDS
Who wouldn't want to see a wrestling dentist? Well, I wasn't really asking, but I do appreciate everyone saying that they don't want to see it.
Unfortunately, you did see Issac Yankem, DDS in the WWF. Yankem was billed as the personal dentist for Jerry "The King" Lawler. What confused me the most is that his last name is Yankem. Sure, with that last name, being a dentist is almost implied. Do you have to get so cute with the last name? Is that really going to make or break this gimmick?
Luckily, the gimmick did break and this man became Kane.
Jimmy Wang Yang
A seasoned veteran, Jimmy Wang Yang graced all of our television screens as an Asian cowboy. Even if that was the case, his name hardly does much to show for that. The Wang and the Yang are two knocks at the Asian aspect, but what makes the name Jimmy so country?
Whatever it is, it makes this name and gimmick such a head-scratcher.
Kelly Kelly is such a beautiful woman that I would say her name twice. I would say it eight more times if it got me a date with her. What doesn't make sense in all of this is why she couldn't be given a last name or simply just be kept as only Kelly. It hurts even more to find out that her real name is Barbie Blank.
There may be a copyright on using her first name, but her actual name is inspiration enough for a real ring name. Kelly Kelly just sounds like they got lazy with her name and wrote it in under both first and last name.
Holy Gory Bomb! Chavo Guerrero, what have you done?
The first name Kerwin makes him look even whiter than I am. As for the last name of White, that's another example of being lazy about it. The only way to end this gimmick, unfortunately, was the loss of Eddie Guerrero. The only positive time of the actual Kerwin White saga was introducing us to Nick Nemeth, the future Dolph Ziggler.
Koko B. Ware
This gimmick led to a future Hall of Fame speech, which made things a little easier to deal with. Basically, he carried a bird around that will probably outlive all of us. He also flapped his arms and called himself Koko B. Ware.
The pun with "beware" is funny, but there is nothing about his name that screams "take me seriously." It isn't even like Jake "The Snake" Roberts, but rather Roberts with a bird instead of a snake. Snakes eat birds, for your information.
Awesome. A slang version or a slang word meaning marijuana.
This tag team was decent around the end of WCW's existence and WWE jumped at the idea of this team. They faced Undertaker and Kane on a pay-per-view, which is infamous to wrestling fans for how much this match sucked. Kronik never got over and was intended to go for development. When they refused, they were gone.
Many things are wrong with this name, mostly the fact that their gimmick had nothing to do with weed, while their name did.
When WWE had a wrestler that would later be known as Savio Vega, their first idea was to put a mask on him, act like he was Asian and call him Kwang. Can someone exactly tell me what Kwang translates to? My money is on "phony."
Make a non-Asian guy spit out mist from his mouth with a name that sort of sounds like it could be Asian, and you pretty much have the story of Kwang.
You can't say that wrestling hasn't tried a few times to nail the stereotypical homosexual gimmick. Despite it being a taboo, another one pops up on a major promotion every few years, usually failing immensely.
One of those occurrences was Kwee Wee, which looks to be a mix between Pee-Wee Herman and...uhm...a kiwi? He wore all pink, but wasn't gay. Definitely not.
There's not much that makes a cannon very lucky. Don't tell that to former NXT rookie and Florida heavyweight champion Lucky Cannon, who is lucky. Seriously, he is lucky. He is so lucky that he often lost on NXT and got eliminated early. That's what I call luck.
I hope he wins the lottery next, especially because he is unemployed. His luck stems from a made-up story of helping his friend who was drowning. That doesn't make you lucky. That makes you a hero. Since it is a fake story, it makes you a phony hero.
Mantaur was a play on the minotaur, which is a mythical creature that is part man and part bull. However, this is Mantaur.
Wouldn't that mean that there would be more man that a normal minotaur? Did that make Mantaur mostly man, but with a little bit of bull in him? Speaking of bull, that pretty much sums up what this gimmick and name were.
Who in the world did Konnan piss off when he was in WWE to create the Max Moon character? His entrance music was techno, he was billed from "The Future," shot off a pyrotechnics gun and his costume apparently cost $1,300.
No wonder why Konnan left WWE and was with TNA for so many years.
When all else fails and you hate every gimmick you get offered, just have one be built around a fascination with your butt.
For as great as Billy Gunn has been in his career, he will always be known as Mr. Ass. Not only was his name strange alone, but it certainly stuck out while Mr. Ass was in D-Generation X. Among names like Road Dogg and X-Pac, Mr. Ass was still all about his butt.
Everyone else was about wearing green and telling people to "suck it," but Mr. Ass was infatuated with his rear end.
One Man Gang
I'm not sure how much I have to explain about why this is a bad name for a wrestler. The name alone is simply oxymoronic. How can one person be considered an entire gang? I understand that it is talking about his large size and dominating strength, but the name just sounds dumb.
In fact, the same was so bad that it merited a repackaging as Akeem the African Dream, a white guy who went to "the motherland" in Africa and came back reborn.
The Mean Street Posse as a name for a faction wasn't entirely great either, but it was kind of funny. A bunch of rich kids in almost a gang mentality with sweater vests. Rodney and even Joey Abs had some interesting names, but Pete Gas takes the cake.
Pete Gas sounds like a bad non-brand name gas station on the highway. Did Pete have some problems with his personal gas? Was it a bad idea to sit next to him in a car with the windows open? I don't know if a name change would have helped the reputation of the posse, but it couldn't have hurt much more than Pete Gas did.
Digging out from the "this was a gimmick once?" file comes Phantasio, who was a magician wrestler. That's right. This guy did magic and then tried to pin you.
Phantasio was very short-lived (shockingly, I know), but still holds a place in wrestling history as one of those weird guys with a weird gimmick and a weird name. If you'll excuse me, I will magically move onto the next slide.
Made famously in the documentary Beyond the Mat, the man known to many was Droz had a meeting with Vince McMahon about a gimmick named Puke. There aren't many more places to go with names that are dirtier than the word Puke as someone's name.
Droz's talent included him vomiting before matches and trying to play to the crowd about his gimmick or lack there of.
From what I am gathering, this guy was rad. Just a hunch.
This toolbag was also supposed to be Courtney Love's boyfriend, despite that actual information being somewhat accurate. Don't worry because a new gimmick is going to be there later on that might be even worse.
Louie Spicolli, who was Rad Radford, was also once known as "Madonna's Boyfriend," despite probably never actually seeing the pop star.
There has to be a soft spot in the heart for Red Rooster. Have you ever known someone to turn down an offer only to see someone else take it and thrive with it? That was Terry Taylor.
There's a strong Internet rumor that he was nearly given a gimmick of this guy that could do everything very well. The ring name for the gimmick was Mr. Perfect. He turned it down. The rest is history.
As for the Red Rooster, I don't think I need to explain that career move. This is wrestling's equivalent to Will Smith turning down becoming Neo in The Matrix in order to do the movie Wild Wild West.
Was he a superhero that repossessed people's stuff? Was he a simple robber? Did he actually have a side job of repossessing people's things?
Nobody was quite sure with Repo Man. What we were also not sure about was what any of that had to do with wrestling.
The name The Ringmaster makes me think of a guy that works in a circus, but that's not what we were seeing here. Instead, I guess the gimmick was all about someone who was so good that it was like he was the master of the wrestling ring.
Well, he wasn't that good. Then again, the guy who portrayed The Ringmaster gave up his gimmick for a new one. He became a man named "Stone Cold" Steve Austin.
This name was never used by Edge when he was with WWE, but it was his name down in the independents. It makes me laugh every time I see it associated with him. It clearly looks like a bad name for a porn star.
I wonder if Edge ever considered coming down to the ring as a pizza delivery boy.
Do I really need to explain this epic fail from WCW? Not only did he apparently master shocks, but he also mastered epic fails, falling, losing his mask and copyright infringement.
That's clearly a Stormtrooper helmet, right?
Sick Boy sounds at first like a very bad superhero that sneezes on everyone. Instead, it was WCW's attempt to have a crazy Al Snow-like superstar. Instead of calling him crazy, he was just sick. That's not exactly the strongest adjective to use.
He also didn't look too nuts and his name was very distant from the gimmick.
An Australian Crocodile Hunter gimmick? Does this guy enjoy the use of his hands? I never understood gimmicks like this. If you come to the ring with a sword or knife, it isn't like you are going to use it in a match. So why bother having that as a part of the gimmick?
I get it that Skinner is about someone skinning animals, but a bad gimmick rarely has a good name.
Tekno Team 2000
These guys look very futuristic. They even have all of the signs checked off.
Stupid shirts? Check. Futuristic pants? Check. A misspelled word that could be different in the future? Check. The number 2000 in their name? Check. A mullet? Check. I'm digging it, you guys.
So you give a guy a plumber gimmick and then a name as generic as TL Hopper? Why? No bathroom humor puns? Nothing about flushing people or something? This guy's name is really just TL Hopper?
I would have at least called him TP Hopper. You guys aren't even trying anymore...
Oh, yeah. His name is The Wall. Nobody gets through The Wall. He's indestructible.
What's that? He never really did anything? I guess walls are meant to be broken. He isn't even as big as a wall. Why not give this to a big fat guy?
Jim Neidhart was once referred to as Who. That was his entire name. What was his gimmick, you ask?
Does it matter with a name like Who? Who cares? Who knows? Let the Abbott and Costello routines commence.
I know I said I wasn't doing these in order, but this might be my favorite. They took a guy we all know as Balls Mahoney and made him Santa's evil brother. Seriously. This was the Kane version of Santa Claus.
He debuted on In Your House: Season's Beatings and lasted for a little while actually. You can't just have him be evil and wear some black instead of white. He also needed to have an X in his name. That's logic for you.
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