NASCAR: With One To Go, Let He Who Is Without Sin Cast The First Stone!

There are seven days in a week, seven ancient wonders of the world, seven seas, and the ever popular, seven minutes in heaven.

Tomorrow, Jimmie Johnson has 36 chances to take the Sprint Cup victory and just seven minuscule shots to lose it all.

All he needs to do is score 36th or better and we witness history "three-peating" itself by tying Cale Yarborough's record of winning three consecutive titles in the mid-seventies.

If luck be a lady, she will grab hold of those seven little chances and Jimmie will blow an engine on Lap One! Come on lucky seven!

With all this pent up animosity I hold towards Jimmie Johnson,  I might be guilty of committing one of the seven deadly sins: Wrath, the inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger.

Yep, sounds like me. Remember earlier in the season when I was harboring my ill feelings for Kyle Busch? I got over it and I now pass the wrath on to "Rowdy." I think that he has what it takes to make a comeback and it will make a helluva sequel in 2009. Go get 'em Kyle, take the Cup that you so truly deserved this year!

Forgive me father for I have sinned.....but I'm not the only one!

With the Cup inches from his reach, Jimmie could be accused of being a little gluttonous, the overindulgence of anything to excess. Come on Jimmie, you know that you'll just have to build a bigger mantle in the off season with that little Lowe's tool kit of yours to display a third Sprint Cup! How about giving it to Carl Edwards this time, I'm sure he's already got the prefect place picked out for it!

Carl, you aren't being let off so easy either my prideful friend. With your washboard abs and athletic prowess, you clearly show a desire to be more fit and attractive than your fellow drivers. You have also identified yourself as to being a bit more important than others (i.e Kevin Harvick) and look at where that got you. Tsk-tsk!

Tony Stewart. You said from the start that you had no desire to try to win in a Toyota this season, you eek-ed one out, but other than that, showed little effort or desire. You cruised along slothfully for 36 weeks achieving a "passing" grade, but we never saw you go above and beyond a "C" level. I'm expecting an "A" student next year. While we are on the subject, how about putting that donut down and getting on a treadmill during the off-season! You are a myocardial infarction just waiting to happen. (*)

With the merger of DEI and Gnassi, Teresa Earnradt you are the opitiome of greed in my eyes. With your rapacious desire for wealth you have ruined everything that was great about DEI and your late husband's good name.

The controversial finish in at Talladega this October left Ragan Smith with a penalty and an 18th place finish: green with envy over Tony Stewart's win. Smith truly believed at the conclusion of the race that he was victorious and resented Stewart as well as NASCAR for "taking it" from him. 

Lastly there is Lust: "usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature."

I recently read an article about driver's firesuits. It seems as if some of the drivers are now having tighter, more fashionable firesuits custom made and engineered by Alpinestars, an Italian company known for its high-quality suits used in Formula One, which leaves me a little hot and bothered I must admit.

"Alpinestars is thought to be the Prada of firesuits. So much so that fans say Kyle Busch looks better in his firesuit than he does in his street clothes. The company has an eye for fashionable detail, each suit is haute couture." 

P.J. Rashidi, racing development of Alpinestars said. "We are sensitive to the female fans and make our drivers look appealing for the female fans. We make tweaks here and there and surprise them. It keeps everyone happy,"

Bravo Mr. Rashidi for purposely enabling the drivers to engage in lewd conduct right before my very eyes and for knowing that a little eye candy never hurt anyone!

Lustful thoughts? I'm guilty as charged, let the lechery begin!

 

(*) As always Mr. Stewart I am here for you as an emergency medical professional. Your health and well-being are my highest priorities. Please feel free to call on me for any medical advice that you may need or in the event of a true emergency, some mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.