There's Only One Timothee Atouba

This article is inspired by the pub. In particular by one of the greatest modern-day inventions in the eyes of this particular football nut obsessive.

Quiz machines really are one of the marvels of modern English society. They have an allure that is hard to explain—or justify.

That they devour your money in double-quick time and offer little that is tangible save the occasional relatively paltry "jackpot" is beside the point.

There is something about the things that is addictive, exciting, and immensely reassuring.

Just come back from a long, miserable away day or seen the gallivanting millionaires whose vices you tirelessly fund humiliated by a bunch of Lithuanian postmen and teachers?

In a trance, a seemingly inescapable lull? Feel like you’re living to work? How did it come to this?

Football trivia lets you reminisce about the good times of the past, the obscure managers, players, matches, events that will, without fail, bring any conversation to life.

Many football fans—of all persuasions and loyalties—have these trusty interactive companions that glow invitingly in the corner of a crowded room to thank for their sanity.

Fellow Spurs’ fans: remember Christian Gross’ metro ticket? Andy Booth’s glamorous loan stint? The decidedly unwizardly wingers Jose Dominguez? Alton Thelwell being the bees’ knees? Timothee Atoubinho playing footballing Russian Roulette on the edge of his box?

The Premier League has thrown up some remarkable stories, matches and characters in its 16-year history. Trivia machines and pub quizzes help preserve these memories for so many.

I owe a great debt of social gratitude to the pub for letting me re-live so many football memories—good and bad—that I feel it only right to play my part.

Therefore, I ask you:

Who is the one player you would love to have seen given a real chance at the Lane?

I was desperately disappointed when we offloaded Johnathon Blondel and Milenko Acimovic without having shown much faith in them. More recently, Mounir El-Hamdaoui is turning heads amongst the leading Europe scouts with his goal-scoring exploits in the Eredivisie.