Nebraska Football: How To Rescue the Nebraska vs. Iowa "Heroes Game" Rivalry

(The new Cy-Hawk Trophy, voted Trophy Most Likely to End Up in an Octogenerian's Curio Cabinet. Photo originally located here)

Welcome to another edition of the Husker Hotwire, the sometimes-weekly, sometimes-funny look at Husker athletics!

There's a reason why people love college football. It's certainly not for the preseason polls that go a long way to determine a team's success based on rank speculation. Nor is it for the college presidents and BCS administrators who steadfastly refuse to establish a playoff to determine college football's champion, regardless of the wishes of the vast majority of fans.

College football is so beloved because of the attachment people have to their schools, and to their histories and traditions with the institutions. That history and tradition is what created one of the most unique and charming aspects of college football, the rivalry trophy. In what other sport could players strive to win an axe? Or a keg of nails? Or a brown jug? Or a bronze pig?

Of such quirkiness is the glory of college football made. But in the 21st century, college football is far more of a business than a pastime. Decisions about the game are made by people in suits to satisfy advertisers and "corporate partners" rather than the fans who watch the game because, let's face it, those poor saps will show up no matter what shenanigans the suits pull.

So, when the Cy-Hawk Trophy game between Iowa and Iowa State became the Iowa Corn Growers Association Cy-Hawk Trophy game, it should have surprised exactly no one that the redesigned trophy was less than awe-inspiring. Sure, the original trophy looked like someone ripped off their fantasy football league's hardware. But the new trophy is a coat of porcelain away from being the next installment of the Precious Moments line of collectibles.

Why, then, would the Husker Hotwire care? Isn't this just another reason to laugh at Nebraska's newly-minted blood rivals on the other side of the Missouri?

Hold the phone on that mocking. Remember, in a fit of self-importance, Nebraska and Iowa announced their annual day-after-Thanksgiving series would be called the Heroes Game. The game, we were told, would do more than just commemorate a sporting event. Instead, it would serve as a means to honor and commemorate (or, as the great philosopher Jebediah Springfield would say, to "embiggen") local heroes.

Given the disaster of the "Heroes Game" label, though, and the subsequent monstrosity of a new trophy for the Cy-Hawk series, and fans of Nebraska and Iowa should be terrified about one portion of the Heroes Game announcement. The trophy design is yet to be unveiled.

The mind reels at the possibilities. A statue of a dewey-eyed child, looking up rapturously and saluting at a flag, perhaps with an impossibly-cute puppy curled up at his feet? In this new world, anything is possible. At the Hotwire offices, the staff could only come up with one possibility for the Heroes Game trophy that would satisfy the B1G Conference's corporate overlords partners but still be palatable to college football fans.

Superheroes.

Think about it. The schools could commission artists to come up with superheroes to represent both the Cornhuskers and the Hawkeyes. A statue could be built having these two great heroes standing tall against the forces of evil. The corporate overlords partners could say that the trophy reflects the courage and character of the heroes being honored at each game. And college football fans could get a seriously cool addition to the trophies competed for each autumn.

It's not Admiral Ackbar as the mascot for Ole Miss, but it would be a pretty close second.

UPDATE! On Tuesday, mere hours after the Husker Hotwire originally posted the story, all parties involved announced that the proposed trophy would be scrapped. Clearly, the power of the Husker Hotwire to effectuate positive change on the college football world is in evidence. You're welcome.

 Ideas will be solicited for a new trophy concept, and the fans will get to vote on the final selections. So it might behoove the powers that be at the Iowa Corn Growers' Association to make sure there isn't a stinker in the lot, because you can rest assured Nebraska fans will be all over ensuring that the worst of the selections gets the nod.

 In the meantime, given that the Iowa-Iowa State game is played on September 10, an "interim trophy" will be awarded to this year's winner of the Cy-Hawk game. And that "interim trophy" will apparently be designed by the same folks that brought you the original, scrapped trophy. And they have to do it in a hurry. What could go wrong?

 BEEONEGEE CONFERENCE UPDATE

At the Husker Hotwire, we are committed to provide you with ongoing coverage of Nebraska's new opponents in the B1G Conference. Badger Hotwire reports that Russell Wilson has been named as Wisconsin's starting quarterback. You know, the guy who transferred from North Carolina State with one year of eligibility left. The guy who was an all-ACC performer in 2010 for the Wolfpack. The guy who was competing with no one who had any starting experience for Wisconsin. In other breaking news, Badger Hotwire reports that bratwursts will be available before all home Wisconsin football games.

AROUND THE HOTWIRE NETWORK

Warrior Hotwire reports that Hawai'i will be playing a regular-season game in Japan in the next few years. The opponent has not been determined, but could be a Mountain West foe or Boise State. Regardless of the opponent, the move is thought to be done as a way for Hawai'i to reduce travel costs.

Tiger Hotwire reports that no arrests have been made regarding a bar fight allegedly involving starting LSU quarterback Jordan Jefferson and three other players, after the players and their attorney met with prosecutors. So, problem solved, nothing more to see here, right?

Hurricane Hotwire reports that 15 Miami athletes are suspected of accepting improper benefits from "rogue booster" and convicted felon Nevin Shapiro. Included in the list is Miami's starting quarterback, Jacory Harris. If nothing else, this story sets a record for describing the employment of prostitutes in the most boring way possible.

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