Chicago White Sox: 10 Players Cast as Countries

By (Featured Columnist) on August 22, 2011

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CHICAGO, IL- AUGUST  21: Brent Lillibridge #18 of the Chicago White Sox is congratulated by Juan Pierre #1 after hitting a home run against the Texas Rangers at U.S. Cellular Field on August 21, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Scott Boehm/Getty Image
Scott Boehm/Getty Images

The saying goes that no man is an island.  However, some men may be island countries.

Some people demonstrate characteristics of a country--not necessarily his or her own.

This fun little piece places some Chicago White Sox players with countries that they symbolize.

For those who don't like to have politics mixed with their sports, I do my best here to minimize the interaction.

Omar Vizquel: Ireland

CLEVELAND, OH - JULY 24: Second baseman Omar Vizquel #11 of the Chicago White Sox fields a ground ball from Travis Hafner #48 (not shown) of the Cleveland Indians during the third inning at Progressive Field on July 24, 2011 in Cleveland, Ohio. (Photo by
Jason Miller/Getty Images

Everyone enjoys Ireland. 

Further, everyone who is Irish is proud to no end that he or she is Irish, while everyone else is clamoring for some claim to Irish heritage, even by the simple act of drinking beer.

Similarly, everyone who is or has been a teammate of Omar Vizquel enjoys it. 

Alexei Ramirez has learned a great deal from Vizquel, and has improved significantly in the field from the tutelage he received from Vizquel.

As everyone wants to be Irish on St. Patrick's Day, who wouldn't want a 13-time Gold Glove winner on their team?

Brett Lillibridge: Tibet

CHICAGO, IL- AUGUST  21: Brent Lillibridge #18 of the Chicago White Sox runs as he hits a home run against the Texas Rangers at U.S. Cellular Field on August 21, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Scott Boehm/Getty Images)
Scott Boehm/Getty Images

Tibet longs for China to release it from its grip.

Brett Lillibridge longs for Ozzie Guillen to loosen his grip on him so that he can flourish in the starting lineup. 

Ozzie Guillen has kept Lillibridge on the bench for the most part of his major league career, stifling his potential. 

Like Tibet, many watch Brett Lillibridge, pondering how much better it would be if he were set free.

Would it be possible to make "Free Lillibridge" shirts and hand them out at colleges?

Adam Dunn: Egypt

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 14: Adam Dunn #32 of the Chicago White Sox sits in the dugout during a game against the Texas Rangers at U.S. Cellular Field on August 19, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. The Rangers defeated the White Sox 7-4. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Ge
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

Like Egypt, Adam Dunn was once strong and remarkable, the epitome of power.

Now, both are mired in trouble that no one wants to imagine.

People are still taking up space in Tahrir Square in Cairo for reasons unknown.  Meanwhile, Dunn has collected some hits in the last couple weeks, but has hardly produced anything.

Some Egyptians gaze at the halcyon days and wonder why it can't be like it was thousands of years ago. While White Sox fans may look at the numerous home runs from Dunn's previous years and wonder why it can't be like it was in his prior years.

Egypt inherited a dreamer in Joseph, and Dunn inherits some hopeful fans who dream that he could have a better 2012.

Paul Konerko: Russia

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 14: Paul Konerko #14 of the Chicago White Sox gets one of his three hits against the Kansas City Royals at U.S. Cellular Field on August 14, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. The White Sox defeated the Royals 6-2. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/G
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

RUSSIA!!!

PAUL KONERKO!!!

Doesn't it give a person thrills to roar both names?

Anyway, both Russia and Konerko are big, strong, and powerful.  They're not the strongest around, but they can still deliver a blow.

Mark Buehrle: Turkey

BALTIMORE, MD - AUGUST 11:  Mark Buehrle #56 of the Chicago White Sox grabs a line drive during a baseball game against the Baltimore Orioles at Oriole Park at Camden Yards on August 11, 2011 in Baltimore, Maryland.  (Photo by Mitchell Layton/Getty Images
Mitchell Layton/Getty Images

Mark Buehrle is a pretty good pitcher who can amaze when he has his best stuff.

Turkey is a pretty good country that can show its sparkle when it feels interested.

Buehrle struggles year to year deciding whether he's above average, solid, or mediocre.

Turkey struggles year to year deciding whether it wants to be European or Middle Eastern.

Buehrle has had fun in his day with the slip-and-slide.

Turkey had its fun back when it was the flagship of the Ottoman Empire.

A.J. Pierzynski: Libya

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 12: A.J. Pierzynski #12 of the Chicago White Sox fields a bunt against the Kansas City Royals on August 12, 2011 at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago, Illinois.  (Photo by David Banks/Getty Images)
David Banks/Getty Images

Like Libya, A.J. Pierzynski has had times when he wants to start something.

Like Colonel Muammar Gaddafi, Pierzynski is off the wall.

On the world scene, no one ever liked Gaddafi.  Outside of Chicago, no one likes Pierzynski.

Gordon Beckham: Philippines

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 12: Johnny Giavotella #9 of the Kansas City Royals steals second base as Gordon Beckham #15 of the Chicago White Sox makes the tag in the eighth inning on August 12, 2011 at U.S. Cellular Field in Chicago, Illinois.  (Photo by David B
David Banks/Getty Images

When the Philippines became independent of the United States, all eyes were on the large island nation, believing that it would become something special.  Nothing happened.

When Gordon Beckham arrived in Chicago, he seemed to be on the path to stardom.  Now, he seems to be headed nowhere.

Alex Rios: Somalia

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 14: Alex Rios #51 of the Chicago White Sox reacts after striking out to end the 8th inning against the Texas Rangers at U.S. Cellular Field on August 19, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

While no one wants to go into detail about how miserably bad Somalia is, no one wants to go into detail about how miserably bad Alex Rios has become.

While Somalia can always point out that rapper K'naan was born there, Rios can always point out that he had good years with the Toronto Blue Jays.

Alejandro De Aza: Tonga

CHICAGO, IL- AUGUST  21:  Michael Young #10 of the Texas Rangers shows the the baseball to Vic Carapazza #85 after missing the tag on Alejandro De Aza #30 of the Chicago White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field on August 21, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by S
Scott Boehm/Getty Images

Both Tonga and Alejandro De Aza are cool.

Both Tonga and De Aza have some pop.  Also, both are always ready for action.

Juan Pierre: Andorra

CHICAGO, IL - AUGUST 14: Juan Pierre #1 of the Chicago White Sox runs after executing a bunt against the Texas Rangers at U.S. Cellular Field on August 19, 2011 in Chicago, Illinois. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)
Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

As Andorra is a fly speck on the map, Juan Pierre is a fly speck of an outfielder.

While neither is terribly significant, both have their perks.  Andorra is nicely situated between France and Spain and has no sales tax. 

Pierre periodically provides crucial offense, and is pretty fast, even at age 34.

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