UFC: Dana White and the UFC's Top Outside-the-Octagon Personalities
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest is a book about a collection of mental patients who try to revolt against a fascist nurse.
Although most of them can generally be described as disturbed, their personalities range from the meek Billy and silent Chief, all the way to Randall P. McMurphy—the head “bull-goose loony” in charge.
It’s not much different than the collection of mixed nuts we find in the UFC.
Personalities in the UFC mimic the same extremes of boring (GSP) and larger than life (Rampage) that we find in an asylum, with the common denominator being that they are all just a bit crazy.
The same can be said of the UFC’s out-of-the-cage personalities; the people around the sport; the ones that make it more interesting even though they never spilled blood in the cage.
The UFC has the most eclectic characters in sports, which this list reflects. Here are the UFC’s top 5 outside-the-octagon personalities.
No. 5 Mask
Contributed a lot to MMA, and gave meatheads ugly clothes to wear
I first learned of Charles Lewis Jr., aka Mask, by seeing him in the background of UFC fights and episodes of TUF.
Needless to say, a guy who wears face paint and dresses like a wizard-biker stands out a bit.
He and two buddies started a fashion empire (TapouT) out of the trunk of a car and trunks are not easy places to start empires, although I am pretty sure Pontius Pilate started his out of an Oldsmobile Omega.
Unfortunately, Mask died in a street racing accident in 2009, which only adds to his legend. He was the first non-fighter ever elected to the UFC Hall of Fame for his contributions to MMA.
No. 4 Eddie Bravo
Bravo breaking down the Squeeze
Eddie Bravo has the name of a cartoon character and his resume reads like something a 16-year-old stoner would come up with on career day.
“I am going to be a jiu-jitsu coach, rock star, and in my spare time, an advocate for weed.”
Sounds silly, but this pretty much sums up Eddie Bravo.
His 10th Planet style of jiu-jitsu has made him one of the most sought after instructors in MMA, and his band Smoke Serpent (which comes from Mayan mythology) plays around Hollywood and doesn’t suck.
Bravo is also an outspoken proponent of legalized marijuana and is constantly advocating the positive effects of the “magic plant.”
Eddie Bravo has to be one of very few pot smoking, guitar playing, jiu-jitsu world champions on the third planet or any other.
No. 3 Joe Rogan
No Can Defend. Well done, sir.
One of the things I love about the UFC is that they don’t censor their personalities.
Can you imagine what would happen if NBA announcer Marv Albert did a podcast on which he talked about marijuana, psychedelic experiences on mushrooms and DMT, and the whole thing was sponsored by a male sex toy?
Marv merely bit up some woman’s back and the NBA put him on the bench for awhile, the stuff Rogan does and talks about would get him canned in any other sport.
Whether you agree with him or not, the guy knows mixed martial arts and, as an announcer, is usually able to put a humorous spin on things like crotch-shots.
His perfectly timed “No can defend” after Machida’s Crane Kick knockout of Couture was one of my favorite random sports moments of all time.
He is a gross-out gameshow host/ standup comedian/ former Taekwondo champion/ UFC announcer with a sensory deprivation tank in his house. And he believes in the “Stoned Ape” theory.
He also introduced me to the next guy.
No 2. Joey "CoCo" Diaz
The Cuban BlackBelt breaks it down
Joey Diaz, aka Joey Karate aka Mad Flavor, has been called “The funniest man on Earth” by Joe Rogan.
According to his Twitter account he is a LIFECOACH/COMEDIAN/ CRIMINAL/ WEIGHT-WATCHER.
He has legendary tales about his days of drug use, robbery, kidnapping and extortion and became a YouTube hit with hilarious stories (search Joey Diaz and see for yourself) and his takeover of an airplane PA system on which he dropped some Biggie Smalls.
He has several profanity-laden catch phrases and one of the funniest T-Shirts ever made (Google it).
Possibly the strangest thing about this cartoon character of a man (other than his love of cats) is that he is actually great at breaking down and predicting fights, which he does on YouTube as Joey Karate.
He’s got a giant gut, smokes more weed than Willie Nelson’s road crew, is a huge fan of the UFC, and makes me cry laughing, whether he is talking about fights or something bizarre at the Comedy Store.
No. 1 Dana White
Whoever wins, wins.
He is part Vince McMahon part Goldfinger. Dana White is the face of the UFC and its most dynamic personality.
He runs the UFC exactly as a fan would, since, first and foremost, he's a fan of the sport.
He likes to argue. He fires guys on impulse and gives unexpected bonuses (like his most recent Manties-Destroyer bonus) and contracts based on emotion and his reaction as a fan.
He’s not afraid to speak his mind and take shots at guys who could pummel him into goo.
Whenever there is a controversy, he is usually at its epicenter and he is usually right. He gives respect to those who give it and to the ones who don’t he says “go cluck* yourself.”
Dana White is the most interesting President in all of sports and also the most polarizing. No one ever hated a boring person and lots of people hate Dana White.
As Randall P. McMurphy might say, Dana White is the “head bull-goose loony” of the asylum known as the UFC.