For a while now, I’ve read multiple articles, forums and comments about John Morrison needing a giant pushski to the topski of the double-double-e. I have always just saw those posts and chuckled a bit, not really giving it much thought. But it keeps popping up and all these Morrison-lovers keep advocating for him to receive a push. I’ve looked at all the evidence, I’ve weighed the pros and cons and I’ve come up with this one simple question: why?
*This article is meant to be a fun, humorous piece. Morrison marks hold your anger, or don't, I don't care*
I know I may get some heat for this but I’m OK with that…I guess…but I mean no harm. So Morrison fans, hear me now, I am your friend. I only state my opinion and it’s cool if you disagree. That’s what makes the WWE universe so great. No? Anyway…
First off, I wanted to title this article: “Some want Morrison to receive a push: Am I missing something?” But then I thought that I would be setting myself up for a slew of comments like: “Yea you’re missing something...your brain” or “yea, you’re missing common sense." So I decided against that title. Then I thought I could call it, “Some want Morrison to receive a push, I don’t see it.” Then I thought I would get comments like, “Maybe because you’re blind,” or “Maybe because you’re an idiot,” so I decided against it.
Really though, what is it that everyone is seeing in Morrison that I am missing? Could it be because he is an amazing talker? Are his promo skills top-notch? No they really aren’t. When he “cuts” (and I use that word loosely) a promo, I kind of want to take a man-nap. And I’m talking a strong, snoring like a bear that got shot with a sedative dart kind of a slumber. Dude is straight up vanilla when it comes to promo skills.
Everything he says is in the same tone, lacking all kinds of emotion and even when he does try some emotion, it seems so forced and unnatural. Every time he cuts a promo and gives that weird, forced smile…well, I die a little inside. Can you argue with me here? Well, maybe you can but just because he is able to say words into a microphone aka “pipe bomb” without messing up, does not mean he can cut a decent promo.
Von 1, Morrison fan 0
Another thing that may have nothing to do with him is his ring entrance. Every time he comes out to the ring in that jacket and raises is arm in slow-mo with the wind blowing through his hair to that horrendous music, I question my own existence. He needs to lose that, it’s tired and stale, like Cena. Yea, I went there.
Von 2, Morrison fan 0
His backstage antics also bother me. Neat, you can run around like a crazed, inebriated, lab rat jumping over boxes. It’s cool and all, and I certainly can’t do any of that (including running), but it’s kind of cheesy. Yea? Indeed…
Von 3, Morrison fan 0
Now, you’re probably saying to yourself, “Is this guy kidding me right now? What about his in-ring work? Surely you agree that dude can put on a match! Right? Right?”
I do agree…sort of. He has indeed put on some outstanding matches and is a good worker. Thing is, he has got to show that he can do more than flip and twirl. All that is cool and all, but I remain unimpressed. He has shown flashes of solid in-ring work but I want to see more technical ability, less “look at me I can bounce off the turnbuckle and twirl!” But I do concede he can put on a good match when given enough time and a decent opponent. So his in-ring work is good, could be better.
Von 4, Morrison fan .5
Is JoMo charismatic? Maybe a little, but I again remain unimpressed with his charisma. You’ve probably put your fist through your computer screen by now, and I understand. He does have some charisma for sure, but is his charisma off the charts like some other performers (even mid-card ones) in the WWE?
Not so much. His in-ring style is charismatic, but his promo style is not in the slightest. I’m not a fan of his promos, remember? When he gets the mic, I reach for the remote so fast, you would think there was a divas match on.
Von 5, Morrison fan 1
This last part is based mostly on hearsay, but I am straight down with hearsay. It has been reported by multiple sources over a long stretch of time that his backstage attitude leaves a lot to be desired. Now, I know, neither you nor I are backstage during WWE events, so we cannot know how he behaves for sure. However, I lean toward him having a bad attitude because it helps my argument and point of this article right now. So to me, he’s got a bad attitude.
Remember how he treated Trish during WrestleMania? Come on!
Von 6, Morrison fan 1
Also, I hate his pants.
Von 7, Morrison fan 1
Also, I hate that he’s in really good shape and I’m a fat guy writing an article.
Von 8, Morrison fan...abs…I mean...1
In conclusion, looking at the evidence in a completely unbiased way, we can see that John Ann Morrison does not deserve a push. Looking at this article, he should probably be buried and should once again be pinned by former WWE champion Vickie Guerrero (calm down, I know she was never WWE champ).
Here is a list of people who deserve a push more than Morrison:
1. Everyone else
Just kidding, but really, when someone lacks in so many key departments that make someone a star, they do not deserve to receive a push. Is he talented? No doubt, but a second coming of Shawn Michaels he is not.
**Authors note: The Morrison/R-Truth match on Raw reportedly lost 817,000 viewers which is one of the biggest drops of the year for a match according to wrestlescoop. While the Kelly Kelly/Eve/Bella Twins only lost 52,000. Just sayin...**
Love the article? Hate the article? Think I am out of my mind? Think I am in my mind? Give me your thoughtski’s below. And don’t forget to like me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter…oh wait, that’s Zack Ryder…
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!